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October 9, 2026 at 6:48 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461449
RobertaParticipantHi Robi
Sorting out ones funeral etc is not so strange often it is older people that do it. One woman I know had a wicker coffin for a couple of decades in fact the first one was used for a friend of hers who died before her & then she bought a replacement she was actually over a hundred when she finally passed. Others want some kind of family vault & that takes time to save up & construct.
When I was in my forties I fell in love with a costly stone coffee table & I justified the expense by telling my children it can be used to mark my grave instead of a headstone! If people want something specific it can bring them peace of mind to know that they have already put things in place also that way they are relieving their family of the worry of fulfilling specialized requests & financial burden as
people worry about being put in a paupers grave.October 5, 2026 at 3:02 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461367RobertaParticipantDear Robi
I live on a small English island where I can see the coast of northern France so our time difference is not that big.
Orinoco Flow is the only Enya track that I know, my music repertoire is not that modern or large. I guess Alanis Morrisette was who I listened to in one of my angst periods even sent a copy to my ex! Anyway I have stepped back from music & dancing as entertainment as part of my preparation to eventually becoming a nun, even though I do these things at work in the preschool & carehome.
I hope you find a job that is not too stressful, but is not too boring either.
RobertaOctober 5, 2026 at 2:42 pm in reply to: When family dynamics you grew up with become unacceptable in adulthood #461366RobertaParticipantHi Nea
The celebration of Maya’s birth is it a formal or informal affair? Are people expected to make a speech or declaration?
Is the celebration in the house you are currently living in?
Sorry to ask so many questions, but it is hard to give practical advice without any background.
Either way I hope that all goes smoothly on the day
RobertaOctober 4, 2026 at 5:53 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461326RobertaParticipantHi Robi
I was born 21 December & am 30 years older than you & my name is Roberta. If i had been a boy I would also be a Robi.
Hope you are having a good day.RobertaParticipantHi
My grandaughter puts on her headphones when excess noise bothers her.
In this situation is this the noise level and or the content/delivery of the speech?
Does that member of staff often yell?RobertaParticipantHi Sleipir
Which joints are arthritic? Have you tried taichi/qigong exercises that are arthritic specific. my friends arthritis is much better now she is living in dry heat conditions rather than cold damp.
RobertaOctober 2, 2026 at 2:31 pm in reply to: How do I learn to let go of Anger, after years of backstabbing and abuse? #461272RobertaParticipantDear Sleipnir
My heart goes out to you and the struggle you are now having to reconcile your traumatic past without causing yourself more harm.
I have not had the life experiences that you & others have had on this forum so I can not offer a personal perspective.
A book that I recommend is Detox your heart by Valerie Mason John, I have read the original & now there is an updated & expanded version.
I wish you all the best in your journey of healing.
Kind regards
RobertaSeptember 22, 2026 at 12:49 am in reply to: The Dream of the Tower: Learning to Meet in the Unfinished Space #461074RobertaParticipantHi Peter
welcome back.
Thank you for your thoughtful piece.
Each & everyone of us is in a state of flux bodily, emotionally mentally, how rare & precious is the fleeting moment when we are in rhythm together in the mystical cosmic dance.
RobertaRobertaParticipantHi
Yeah that lack of motivation is a real bummer, even though I know how beneficial it can be for me. The demon of apathy is one weighty lump to shift. I have a number of short practices to lean on, I even do them in bed even if it is only to have the aspiration for inspiration & motivation. More often than not just seeing the news headlines makes me take a moment to do mantra. There are days & days that are made up of micromoments rather than full blown sitting formally on the cushion & still having my head everywhere instead of being centered in the heart. You are not alone dude, hang in there
RobertaSeptember 15, 2026 at 2:09 pm in reply to: When family dynamics you grew up with become unacceptable in adulthood #460977RobertaParticipantHi Nea
I see that you realize that each time you try to soothe your anxiety by bringing up the past with your husband it hurts him & damages your marriage.
A practical way to soothe yours self is to gently rub your tummy & chest in a loving way like how you would comfort your baby & even gently say to yourself hello anxiety my old friend, I hear you. This acknowledges your feelings, but hopefully breaks the chain of thought. You may have to do this a hundred times, but it is a much healthier way than expressing verbally to your husband.
It will not be that long until you are once more in your own home, hang in there.
Best wishes
RobertaSeptember 15, 2026 at 12:00 am in reply to: When family dynamics you grew up with become unacceptable in adulthood #460965RobertaParticipantDear Nea
I understand when you have lived all your life either covertly or overtly with your father’s powerful control habit, that anxiety probably feels like your natural base line.
Where in your body does this anxiety manifest & what does it feel like?
At times of non anxiety are you aware of peace, love, or contentment? where & what does that feel like?
Are you aware of when you are just in neutral?
Do you recognize when you start to reminis about the past & when you project into the future, how often are you just here & now?
I hope you recognize & enjoy the good parts of your day today.
best wishes
RobertaSeptember 14, 2026 at 2:02 pm in reply to: When family dynamics you grew up with become unacceptable in adulthood #460957RobertaParticipantDear Nea
This is part of what I wrote to you on 22 August……. So please try to remember this each time that nagging thought arises, so that it does not get the chance to damage they way you relate to your husband.
Tiredness & stress means you have less energy to protect yourself from the spiral of negative thoughts & anxiety.
Your husbands desperately needs your love & understanding & support, in regard to your father issue. Then the two of you can be of support to each other. It only takes a moment, each breath we take is an golden opportunity to relax & let go – to reset from flight/fight system to the calm & nurture. In its most simplest form is to breath in say for the count of one & breath out for count of two the next breath breathe in for two & out for 3 then in for four & out for 6 after several of the 4/6 breathing you could experiment with 5/7.Today I was meditating with some one who’s watch monitors their heart rate, at the beginning it was at 105 at the end of the half our session it was down to 66.
I wish I could wrap you, your husband & baby maya all together in a big blanket of love.
Kind regards
RobertaRobertaParticipantHi Tommy
Sorry to hear that you have been unwell with kidney stones. I hope they pass soon.Many traditions bless water – Mahayana buddhist medicine buddha mantra Teyata Om bekanze bekanze mahabekanze radza sumugata soha
best wishes
RobertaRobertaParticipantHi Anita
Are you okay? You normally post each day. Hope you are alright.
Kind regards
RobertaRobertaParticipantHi Tommy
Practice is easier said than done Ha ha. My alarm went off ay 6am this morning did I leap out of bed enthusiastically to do an hours prayers before breakfast? Um erm no…. but I did do a half our meditation & then breakfast. Is that the middle way between all or nothing?
best regards
Roberta -
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