Dear Nea
I do the practice by repeating one phrase silently over say five times as a breathe slowly & deeply then move to the next phrase. As you get to know yourself better you might spend even a whole session just sitting with one phrase on occasions.
I strongly recommend that both you & your husband do the loving kindness practice, preferably together even if it is for just 10 mins a day to start with. It is a time of quiet bonding, deep understanding, it will help the you grow as individuals & a unit, start to heal some wounds, build resilience so that it is more likely for unconditional love to flow both in & out of your bubble & cleanse & act as a barrier to negativity.
This is not a quick & instant fix, but a good long term foundation to help you thru the ups & downs of life.
It is a process that starts with yourself & then works outwards in stages with specific categories & recipients, but for the moment it would probably be best to do it in baby steps so to speak.
Kind regards
Roberta

P.s This will fill your peace keeper gap & doing this meditation is something that is under your control, no body can stop you from doing this. You could do it whilst you are feeding Maya, you do not always have to put aside a time & place for this practice.

Dear Omyk

It is lovely to hear you back on your thread.
I am glad that the threat of losing your job for the last 3 years has resolved itself & that you have the opportunity to widen your horizons at the same time with a 2nd employer.

The 5th Anniversary of losing a loved one is definitely hard reflective milestone. This year was the 25th Anniversary of the father of my younger son drowning when his fishing boat sunk. Hurt has gone but still have moments of poignancy.

It is amazing when something we are reading something that feels so relevant & personal to us a little spark of enlightenment.
Can I ask what you are teaching about? How often do you do these seminars & how many people usually attend?

Best wishes
Roberta

Dear Annie

I am sorry that your Buddhist meditation group ceased once the founder passed away. Did the group also give dharma instruction as well?

I found sitting with the Quakers* also scratched that itch to be contemplative in the company of others. I facilitate a small buddhist meditation group sometimes there is just me & other times there is about six of us & it too will probably fold when I die.

in our group practice I use Gil Fronsdal 7am guided meditation & talk on you tube for me in general it has the right balance regarding style time length & content.

* Some quaker meetings host lunch after worship bonus on the food front & you get to meet hopefully people who raise your & their energies rather than sapping it.

Going to do gardening therapy now.
Hope you have a good day
Roberta

Dear Eva
You started this thread just over a year ago.
Your last post was 16 Aug 2026 ended with “I genuinely want outside perspective because at this point I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.”
Have the replies that this forum group helped you to grow & be happier in anyway? As far as I can see their replies have consistently been well thought out & caring.
In the arena of No blame, no shame………..You will not get the answers or actions you want form this guy, so the healthiest thing for the both of you is to get out & stay out of this pseudo relationship. Work on any outstanding hurts of your early years first & with luck & perseverance by the time you eventually get round to unpacking this particular relationship, you will hopefully be in a better position to see & deal with any residue.
Tomorrow is another day where you can consciously start to plant the seeds of a happier future. This may sound flippant, but when I remember to set my motivation to work well with my co-workers ( including to learn from them), promote harmony & understanding & to actively listen to my preschoolers/carehome residents. That shift goes much better. ie another little pocket of happiness has been created, which has the potential to ripple out into the wider world both immediately but also far far into the future.
Kind regards
Roberta

Hi confused

I guess getting the balance in relationships can be tricky especially if each party does not state fairly early on about what they feel/think would enhance & or erode a relationship.
So in general ex’s are an ongoing minefield.
Who pays for what & when. ie if you regularly go out for meals together does one go dutch or take turns unless one party specifically states before hand this is my treat.
It can be dull & hardwork if only one person chooses & organizes outings etc especially if there is lack of response or feedback from the other party or if the only feedback is negative.
I hope that any future relationship you have will bring you the right mixture of stability/excitement openness/mystery that you both feel nurtured & the freedom to grow.
kind regards
Roberta

Hi Serene Wolf

Wishing you all the best on your journey into learning to surf the waves of uncertainty so that you can traverse the choppy waters of life rather than getting wiped out.
Looking forward to hearing more from you
Roberta

Hi Tom

I am sorry for you & your wifes loss. I have been there too & I hope that you are both allowing yourself to grieve fully. I unfortunately did not conceive afterwards & even over the years I think oh they would be 5, 19 or fifteen years old.
I hope that you both enjoy your mini trip next month
Roberta