Dear Kenny

Though I understand that you are gentle by nature and have trouble identifying boundaries, let me tell you, everyone needs space. Extroverts and introverts all included. This is how we grow. Being out of a restricting relationship not very long ago, I can very well connect to you. The first step is to identify the problem. You know that you are in a relationship that is hampering your growth. The next step is asking yourself whether you can do anything about it. How much control do you have so that you might change things? Honestly answer the questions like whether you will like to share the rest of your life with a person who leaves you no scope for growth? Is it worth it? You are already playing the victim by accepting her reasoning. Would you rather be in a bond where there are different standards set for both of you? Or would you go for a relationship that is based on the values you share and equality? Meditate on these questions for some time. Only you, my friend, only you can help yourself.

Best,
Dee

PS: I am typing this from a small 4 inch screen device which makes it super hard to go back to the message and edit. Kindly ignore typo if any 😊

Hi Rideeta,

Reading your story I was strongly reminded of one of my own.

During my college days, I was deeply fascinated by all the wildlife documentaries and the colorful magazines which depicted the wild animals and their conservation stories. This prompted me to take up a subject called wildlife studies as one of the majors. I thought I would ace it as I was so ‘deeply interested’ in it. And I was a good student. I did fairly well than most of the other students in all other subjects. But I totally messed in this one particular subject. It was absolutely different from what I had expected. No wildlife movies but all software and statistics.I had a hard time making head and tail of what my teacher taught. It was all Greek and Latin to me. Gradually I started neglecting it and opened the books only at the eleventh hour during my exams. I realized only then what I had actually missed all the way. In the end I barely managed to pass. Imagine that.

Lessons learnt: Just interest does not help. You need to put in work.

As you have mentioned you have just started college and you are finding it tough.Well, it is natural to feel so. Just go back to the things which made you like mathematics in the first place and start with a clean slate. Do your home work and slowly build up your strength. Life has taught me no study is a waste.
Do not let your initial failure bother you. Work towards it. You will be definitely rewarded for your efforts.

Academic success is important but it is just one aspect of our lives. There is so much to do. So much to dream. So much to learn. So much to discover and so much to explore. Believe me, you have a lot to live for. So do not cry anymore, put on that big goofy smile and just do your best.

Good Luck!

Hey Rayne! Although I am not yet one of the deep and insightful bunch, I am taking baby steps in that direction for sure. Like you, I am also shaken from some recent experiences of mine.
But here are the following things which I try to incorporate in to my daily routine:

1. Maintaining a journal. This helps me to lighten my emotional load to a great extent.
2. Meditation (although I am really bad at it)
3. Forcing a smile.
4. Hearing out to people
5. Not comparing myself to others and accepting myself.
6. Working out at the gym
7. Deep sleep.

Coping with change is really tough but always looking out for the silver lining helps me.

Hope this helps!

Take care 🙂