Forum Replies Created
October 25, 2019 at 3:57 am #319641
That is something I’ve never thought of before. What an interesting, and eye opening, way to look at it! It reminds me of something my boyfriend would say. He is always going back to our roots and comparing our thoughts/actions to the times when everything was life or death and saying, well- as an animal, it makes sense!September 17, 2019 at 4:44 am #312721
Anita- I think you’re absolutely right. A healthy person has a balance between being able to be alone, and being able to be around others. All while feeling peace in doing so.
Neil- Well said, what a beautiful reminder! It’s so true, that we share enough crappy times with ourselves, that we owe it to us to share some peace and happiness as well. I love that!
Peggy- How beautiful it is that we are all so vastly different and unique in our experiences. Thank you for sharing yours!September 17, 2019 at 4:35 am #312719
1. This post, thank you!
2. To have a support system who loves me unconditionally, when I need it the most.
3. This morning, with my tea and my dog.September 12, 2019 at 4:41 pm #311969
Anita- I’m sorry, my wording came off wrong and reading it back I see where I miscommunicated. I definitely agree with and understand what you’re saying. I meant for myself, the feelings of anxiety stem from being an introvert and not fully accepting who I am. The feeling of inferiority comes from not engaging in the activities that others my age engage in because of the message that society presents. I am an introvert who finds peace in my time at home and my time alone, and that is what’s beautiful. Not the anxiety or the negative feelings that come along with it. I was a little selfish in relating what you said back to myself. Though what you and I experience/d is similar in a way, it is also different. Please know I see/hear you 🙂
Valora- you’re right! I’m sure there are plenty of like-minded introverts around, they are just busy keeping to themselves 🙂September 12, 2019 at 4:23 am #311789
Oh wow! It’s really beautiful to hear that other people have similar experiences as me.
Inky and Anita- it’s interesting to think about the fact that we can be, at our core, introverts, but society kind of tries to pull us away from that. Similar to Anita, I experience anxiety in social situations more often than not, feeling inferior to others, for different reason, because I’m NOT sociable. Constantly feeling like the ‘shy’ one, or the ‘odd one out’ It’s nice to be reminded that simply, it’s who I am! We’re all different and all beautiful.
Anita- I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. 🙂
Prash- I love that you said ‘everyone shares the common goal of happiness’. You’re absolutely right! We all seek it in a different way, but we all want to feel at peace.
EmiAugust 25, 2019 at 5:49 am #309205
Hi Peaceful Warrior-
I experience this from time to time as well. Panic attacks can be scary, and so it makes sense that you would worry about having one. I find for myself, it’s as simple as letting go of control. I know that sounds easier said than done. Worrying about having a panic attack is thinking in the future. Try your best to be here, now. And when you find yourself thinking in the future, worrying about panicking, identify that and simply bring yourself back.
When and if you do have one, I find this helps- sit and hear every single sound you possibly can. Starting with the loud ones, like the door closing. The dog barking. The train passing by. Then listening so intensely that you can hear the wind in the trees. Your breath. The birds in the distance. This can help you to bring yourself back. If at work, be honest. Let someone trustworthy know that you need to walk away for a minute to gather yourself.
Give yourself grace and compassion, whatever that means to you. And know that you’re not alone. 🙂
Good luck at your job, you will do great!
EmiliaAugust 25, 2019 at 5:29 am #309203
Peggy- thank you for your kind words. They are appreciated! Washing my hands and splashing my face is a simple ‘transition ritual’ that I can easily incorporate into my day!August 24, 2019 at 5:24 pm #309193
It’s nice to know there’s someone (I’m sure a lot more than just 1 someone) who is going through something similar to me. I hope whatever you’re going through goes smoothly and that you find peace in whatever it is.
Thank you for sharing your ideas. So far, the move is going well. I have been alone for a couple of days now, and I haven’t started school yet. My time has been spent trying to keep myself as busy as possible with my to do list and things like yoga and reading and walking my dog, while still allowing myself the time and space to feel whatever comes up. Usually a little bit (or a lot) of loneliness and sadness, if I’m being honest. But also peace, usually in the morning, with fresh air and coffee and my journal.
It’s funny that you said ‘view this experience as practice’. I was just thinking today that this is a learning experience for me, beyond the structured learning I will do in school. For example, I’m learning to live peacefully without being dependent upon my boyfriend to lay by my side at the end of the day. I’m also learning to love from a distance, to make a quick phone call to show that I’m thinking of him, without being clingy and expecting too much. Along with that, I’m learning to let go off control, and trust that our relationship will stand the test of distance and time. And if it doesn’t, I’m learning that everything is, always has been, and always will be as it should be. It’s all led me here.
Anyways, I’m getting there. Slowly and gradually, but definitely. I hope you are, too.
EmiliaAugust 24, 2019 at 12:33 pm #309169
Jane- your bedtime routine sounds so beautiful and cozy. Mine is really anything but- usually TV until I fall asleep. I’ve been trying to stray away from my phone during the evenings before bed, which I have been better about. I think tonight I will try reading instead of TV. I love to read, but often find myself saying I don’t have time. But I do! I just dedicate that time to some things that feel a little bit more unhealthy for me at the end of my day. Thank you for sharing!
Kevin- I would say yes, I often give so much of myself to others that I don’t give myself the love that I need. Your message was a great reminder to continue to show others love, but never at the expense of myself. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for my to care for myself in the mornings, but not in the evenings. Like, the morning in a fresh start, but I empty my cup and have nothing left to give to myself by the end of the day. That’s something really interesting to think about!
Peggy- thank you for saying that! I do feel very rewarded by my work. My kids are a big motivation for me in so many ways. Just like Sophie’s teacher told her, I feel that I learn so much about being a teacher and about life in general from my students. They truly are precious to me. 🙂August 20, 2019 at 3:54 pm #308775
K- I love the idea of short meditations throughout the day. I will definitely give that a try and see how that changes my evenings once the work day is done.
Peggy- I work with young children with developmental disabilities, and I give them so much of my energy that when I come home I feel like I’m in a haze, which often leaves me feeling annoyed or too tired, etc. It’s always a good reminder that we all feel negative emotions because we’re human, and that’s okay. 🙂 as for lists, I live off of lists and it really helps me to organize myself so that my brain doesn’t feel so scattered. Definitely a life saver for me!August 15, 2019 at 9:23 am #308105
Michelle- I, too, can relate to the feeling of go, go, go before being able to settle. I definitely will try incorporating transition rituals. This will be simple and easily accessible, but transformative. I know something like a bath, meditation, yoga, etc. would be wonderful. The hard part is getting there. I suppose I can bring myself to do it, even if I’m not really feeling like it, and eventually it will become part of my routine, just like my mornings.
Jeroen- I love how you mentioned the first hour and last hour of our day as being the most important. I treat my first hour as sacred, but my last hour is nothing but. I find myself eating garbage in front of the tv, scrolling through my phone, etc. until it’s time for me to go to sleep. Like I mentioned to Michelle, I know what you mentioned could be a beautiful and transformative practice for me, but the hard part will be actually bringing myself to do it. With persistence, though, eventually it can become a part of my routine.
Thank you both for the insight 🙂August 8, 2019 at 4:54 pm #307221
That sounds like a great idea.
I would appreciate that! However if it’s a hassle, I’m sure I could throw something together, following that concept. 🙂August 8, 2019 at 3:58 pm #307205
Identifying the beginning of anxiety is always hard for me. Sometimes, it’s like I’m having an off day and I know that. Maybe I’m feeling just a little tired and drained after a work day. But not so much so that I’m falling into anxiety or spiraling out of control. But then it’s like, something sets me off and suddenly I’m fully spiraling and it almost feels too late, and I don’t even know where it went wrong or what exactly set me off.
Also, If I get anxious in the comfort of my own space, I can get through it pretty quickly. It’s when others are around that I spiral so badly, i think because I feel worried about what that other person might think of me. I feel the need to apologize and make sure that they don’t resent me. Which, I know could probably lead to more resentment.August 7, 2019 at 1:16 pm #307071
Anita- Thank you for your response.
Managing fear in a mindful way will be helpful to me. When life is going great, it’s easy for me to be mindful. When it is likely most important to be mindful, when I’m anxious or sad or frustrated, I panic or cry or yell. It will be hard for me to practice mindfulness when experiencing a ‘negative’ emotion, but it will be helpful. And I will practice.
I’m also glad you mentioned controlling how much I share and not burdening him with my fear. That is so like me. When anxious, I often vent and vent and vent and expect someone else to fix me, when the only way to be ‘fixed’ is to work from the inside. Something I know logically, but has been a real struggle.
I have a lot to work on, but am trying my best to be active in doing so. Some days are harder than others, but overall I am grateful for the path I have been given.
EmiAugust 7, 2019 at 6:06 am #306981
Thank you for all of your kind responses. I’m sorry for the late reply. I have read all of your words as they came in, but wanted to think long and hard on them.
K- thank you so much for your words. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with long distance, as it opened my eyes to something that I didn’t realize before. Yes, I will miss him, but your exactly right in saying that, so long as we keep our relationship as a top priority, the distance will allow us to discard the parts of our relationship that are stale and petty. I see that already, when I go away for even a long weekend. A phone call after not seeing him for a couple of days always seems to leave me feeling more connected to him then usual. The idea that this can and will help us grow in our relationship, as long as we stay dedicated to each other, will keep me going.
Inky- you are so right. I will be so busy with school that the days will fly by, bringing me closer to coming back home to him.
Mark- thank you for saying that. I was and am living in the state of future thinking. And if convinced that I will be sad, and if living from a place of fear, I probably will be. But if I focus on gratitude and live from a place of love, then I will feel just that. To be truthful, I think this is the biggest difficulty I face in life in general. Thank you for helping me recognize that, because now that I identified that, I can make a change.
Peggy- you said something that I have never even thought of before. You said ‘When you applied to be on the Masters Course, you knew that it would mean leaving people behind that you loved yet you decided that the end goal would be worth that sacrifice. Now it’s only two weeks away, all those fears are surfacing.’ This could be said for a lot of areas in my life, actually. You’re absolutely right. I know that the positives of temporarily leaving those I love would immensely outweigh the negatives. When I applied, I was living from a place of furthering myself without thinking of my fears, as it was so long ago. But now, as it gets closer, all of my fears are coming to the surface. Thank you for helping me recognize that.
Overall, I know I will be okay. Logically, I know the end goal is worth the temporary distance, and anything else that I fear in the process. From this point on, I will continue to remind myself to focus on the moment in front of me. To live from a place of love and gratitude. Thank you all for your kind words. You helped me more than you know.