Hi Roberta,

Thanks for your answer. You are right, it’s a general problem, it seems. At least in Europe. I was also thinking of tracking. Maybe he could go together with his mum, so they could get closer and maybe talk about what bothers him in depth.  Although he has done therapy which didn’t seem to help much. The other thing I thought of was working for an NGO in Africa or in India. Maybe he would realize how good his life is here and he would feel useful by helping others. Who knows what’s going on in his head.

Have a nice week ahead.

Dear Tee,

Thanks so much for your answer. Actually, I have only met him once. I have just reconnected with my old school friend whose sister invited me to her bday. That’s where I met him and that’s where my friend’s sister told me about the disastrous stories of him. Smoking weed, not studying,  doing stupid things while high. They have suggested him many options, even found jobs for him but he doesn’t want any of them. Today they set a deadline by when he has to move out of the flat, sell his car in order to pay for the stupidity he had done and find a job or continue university.  He said ok. As I travel a lot and he found me ‘cool’ at the bday party, my friend’s sister hopes that I can talk to him and maybe have a good ‘influence’ on him or convince him to get his stuff together. But I’d rather agree with you. If he doesn’t want to change, even God would be unable to make him change. Additionally,  I don’t have kids myself, so I might not be the right person to give advice 🙂

Dear Anita,

Sorry for my late answer but I check in less since you left. And also, my mum is very I’ll, so I had to come to europe – from Asia – in emergency. I was standing at the airport in thongs and t-shirt in the middle of below 0 🙂 I haven’t been to Europe in winter since 10 years… So now I am taking care of mum and her brother who is also sick, has no family and cannot do anything at the moment.

I sincerely think that your work is essential here. Everybody is lovely and seems concerned but somehow, I always found your analysis fantastic. And additionally,  as I mentioned, you never let anybody down, you always got back to the person as you promised. Which is, unfortunately,  rare in life nowadays. People talk so much but rarely follow up. They even forget what they say 🙂

Nevertheless,  you should do what you feel right. If you don’t get back, it’s fine. I am very happy that people like you exist.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I have just read the comments in Anita’s Choice to Leave but I couldn’t find anything from you. Could you please tell me again where you submitted your posts on 15th? I would like to read. Many thanks.</p>
 

Dear Helicat,

Thanks for your answer. It’s true, many people have this  out of sight, out of mind attitude.

Dear Anita,

Yes, it would be really nice to have all of humanity as supportive friends towards each other. I don’t think there are many other solutions… AI is good and useful but cannot replace us.
<div id=”line_space” dir=”auto”>I don’t know what you do in life but you seem to have a very good understanding of human psyche. I think you are spot on with my friend. She offered me to stay at her house any time and as long as I wanted to. I would never ask for it. If people offer, I accept it, otherwise I find a solution. So one summer I stayed at hers for a month. She said I could help myself with anything in the fridge and in the kitchen. Usually I do the housework when I stay with friends; I clean, do the laundry,  iron,  cook dinner. One morning I noticed that she had 5 old jars of honey open with one spoon of honey left in each. So instead of opening up a new jar, I just finished the old ones. A few days days later I noticed that my friend was not talking to me, tried to avoid me. I asked her what went wrong- maybe at work or issues with the boyfriend, I thought. It took her 3 days to tell me that she was angry with me because I had finished the honey jars! Obviously, before I left, I bought her 5 jars of special honey coming from all over the world. In my family we open one jar and finish it before opening a new one, so I just wanted to save the brand new honey. It’s a minor issue  but proves that you are probably right. Something must have triggered something in her mind.  But I still think that with a bit of communication we can easily avoid misunderstandings and solve many problems.</div>
<div id=”line_space” dir=”auto”>I could have easily bought myself a new pot of honey and eat that one if she hadn’t had told me to help myself with anything in the kitchen…. how silly life can be.</div>
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<div id=”line_space” dir=”auto”>still don’t know what to think about all these vanishing.  Why people say one thing and do the opposite or do nothing at all… I suppose that I just have to accept it and live with it. Try to grow, as Sheli said so wisely.</div>
<div id=”line_space” dir=”auto”>I am lucky to be surrounded  by beautiful nature, it really helps me to go for long walks and be thankful for small things like a fresh breeze, a butterfly, cute flowers, the sound of the rain on my roof.</div>
<div dir=”auto”>Thanks for your helpful support.</div>
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Dear Sheli,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.  It must be very disappointing to lose a friend if 30 years! I suppose that people and situations change. But we can still go through stuff together and if it doesn’t work out, well, at least it’s clear. But just vanishing is so surreal somehow.

Yes, I am definitely at a crossroad.  After my partner’s death my life took a 180 degrees turn in 2 minutes. We were a kind of nomadic people, so we don’t have a house or a car. He did art and I do creative work as well. I understand that this kind of lifestyle is not everybody’s cup of tea.

I do know many people of course, I try to socialise as much as I can. I am outgoing and very interested in people.  It’s always been like this. It’s hard for me to ignore people. I have many ideas energy, maybe that’s the problem. It might be overwhelming for certain. I don’t know. I just try not to expect too much and get too disappointed.

Thanks so much for your encouragement. It really helps: I will repeat that I have endless possibilities until it becomes my reality.

And yes, I have been reading reactions on this forum for years, that’s why finally i dared to write. I don’t share too much of my thoughts with people but I really need a bit of help to sort out this ‘vanishing thing’.