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When he was affectionate, it wasn’t sexual. Just hugging and cuddling. It was very sweet. And he hasn’t contacted me at all but he’s been watching my social media stories. I feel so upset. I was starting to really like him and want to open up more. And I’m not completely against not being serious because I enjoy his company a lot. I’m just hurt because he told me a while ago that he hates the idea of people ghosting but I feel like that’s what he’s doing to me and I’m s confused. From what I’ve gathered in the time we’ve known each other, he’s very straightforward so I’m confused as to why he just won’t tell me he’s not into me anymore.
We just laughed and joked and just had a good time and he was sweet and affectionate. He said I’m very reserved and I am because i was in an emotionally abusive relationship last year. I’ve been very closed off with this guy until recently when I allowed myself to be open. Then he started being distant and he works a lot but because of my anxiety, I became clingy. I talked to him last night about how I didn’t mean to be closed off and I do like him and he said I am who u am and he’s very casual and we kinda talked about sex and I said it takes me a while to get there with someone and he said that’s a good thing. I texted him this morning saying thank you for listening to me and how I hope we can still hang but he hasn’t responded and I’m afraid I ruined everything by being so clingy. I’m not gonna message him again until he does. I just feel so dumb.
@anita, well we hung out recently and everything was great! The next day, he wasn’t responding even though I saw he opened my message. I messaged him being like sorry if my texts are overwhelming and he said it’s just hard to text all day and I understand but he hasn’t been texting me at all like he would after work and now nothing. He said this is a difficult week but I feel like he’s upset with me or I did something.
So I decided to end the friendship and I’m very glad because he was being very inappropriate and making me uncomfortable so I cut it off! I hung out with the guy I like recently and have noticed he’s been a bit distant the past few days and I usually notice different patterns of behavior in people I’m close to so I got anxious and I texted him a bit too much I guess and now I’m worried I’m being clingy or annoying and I feel myself wanting to close up even though I was just starting to open up to him.
I appreciate my friendship but it’s causing me too much anxiety. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t know what I’d even say. And I will let you know!
@anita, thank you! I’ll check that out! I txted the guy I like and he said he’s been busy and that’s basically been our interaction today so I’m paranoid about the stuff from last night. I know there’s no evidence and no reason for it but I’m still scared. I feel like even being nice to my friend is giving me anxiety. I’m currently ignoring his text.
Hi Anita! Thank you for your last reply, Ive been thinking a lot about it for the past month. My paranoia was better for a bit but now its back and hard to deal with. I met someone I really like and I want to pursue something with him eventually even though we’ve only hung out once so far. There’s another guy that has feelings for me but I only see him as a friend, I dont ever see myself liking him and he and I have hung out a few times but I’m just not feeling it. I’ve been paranoid that both of them know each other (theres zero proof. they dont have mutual friends or anything) and its making me want to not talk to anyone. Like if i’m nice to the guy Im friends with but dont like and then the guy I like reads my text but doesnt respond, I’m like “what if its bc i was nice to my guy friend?” and i get paranoid.
@anita, I am afraid the person the worry is about will somehow find my post/comment.
@anita, there is something that has triggered my paranoi that I would love to discuss with you but I’m scared about posting it.
@anita, I could do that. I just wish I could fight my thoughts. I know they are irrational but there’s still a little voice in my head saying “what if” and it feels so real.
@anita, so many experiences! Friends turning against me to bully me, friends taking the bully’s side. And once I began dating, I had a pattern of toxic relationships with men who mistreated me or used me. I tend to be very mistrusting but, ironcally, still let people in. I’m not sure what to do. Even just posting on here makes me very afraid. I wonder “what if one of the people on here knows whoever my post is about and will let them know?” it’s a very scary place-my mind.
I think you are being paranoid to an extent but mostly, it’s anxiety. I don’t think it would hurt to ask him those question, but do it in a casual tone. Let me know what is on your mind, what is worrying you. But I do think that your anxiety is making this situation bigger than it is.