Hi John

Happy New Year! I hope it brings blessings for you and your family. I’m glad to hear that you’re doing fine. 😊

I’m sorry to hear about your beloved dog passing away in your arms. Sad thought it is, I’m sure that there was no better place for him and you brought him a lot of comfort at such a difficult time. Still, it probably doesn’t make it any easier to bear.

All of my pets were older. I just didn’t expect them to go in the same year and thought I had more time with them.

I also have a friend who is ill. Quite possibly dying even. In and out of the hospital and it doesn’t seem like it is going to stop.

I guess there are many reasons why fear can provide a feeling of safety. Not having to take chances being one of them. But also, for some people a mental health issue can become their sense of identity. Thankfully, I don’t feel that way anymore.

Would you say that you lean more to the philosophical side of things?

It would be cool to know the intricacies of cause and effect. Oh well!

What kind of thing do you like to draw? I’d love to read some of your poetry. I doubt it is mediocre, since you write so well.

What do you think makes someone great at something?

My sister is a talented artist. She has spent her entire life dedicated to art. I think it is hard to become amazing at something without sinking an awful lot of time and effort into it.

Personally, I never understood wanting to be the best at something. I aim for good. 😂 It always seemed to me that unless you are literally at the top of your field, there is always someone better. Working hard, trying your best, having fun are all rewarding in themselves. I was also a teacher for a while. Failure is a necessary part of becoming great at something.

Then again, art is subjective. Plenty of talented artists and poets go unrecognised while alive. Yet upon their death, their work has profound value.

Banksy a famous graffiti artist mocks the rich for how much they are willing to pay for his art. He’s done a couple of stunts like letting people sell his art to the public on a street. And people were not willing to pay much. There was another stunt where he sold a piece of art that shredded itself after being purchased.

An interesting idea, but not necessarily one that I agree with because I grew up understanding the fragility of life. It is scary, but life must go on and I don’t believe that suffering has a purpose in itself. Many things can be better achieved through other means. Is it truly a good idea to worry about something that is statistically unlikely to happen right now?

I believe that people are mad for a different reason. Because life is inherently messy and traumatic. From the perspective of psychology, common occurrences are technically traumas. Some people assume that something extreme has to happen to experience trauma, it simply isn’t true though. It gives rise to the big trauma little trauma theories. Did you know it is very rare to meet someone that hasn’t experienced some kind of trauma?

It is cheesy to say, but I think you are great at being you!

Yes and no. If I’m expressing a negative emotion the other person is more likely to express a negative emotion too. I do believe that it depends on the individual though.

Often, I find the way that I express myself is different from other people. I have a tendency to numb myself emotionally when talking about things I feel uncomfortable with which drives my family crazy.

It’s not going badly with more subtle emotions which I’m thankful for. It seems like I got most of the heavy stuff out of the way.

Love, peace and blessings! ❤️🙏

Hi John

I’ve always enjoyed that blessing too! Thank you for sharing it.

Love, peace and blessings! ❤️🙏

The book Letting Go made a good point. It links to the cause and effect discussion John and I were having.

Thoughts and feelings can impact outcomes in relationships. For example, reacting pensively can cause the other person to react pensively.

I thought that this was a great insight. I’m doing my best to share my feelings the ones that I have been afraid of being rejected for incase my husband didn’t feel the same way.

It has been a weird day for me. A lot of grief has come up in regards to my pets.

I find myself dwelling on it all briefly on a daily basis. Not for long, seconds. A fleeting thought.

Seeing cat food at the corner store reminds me of my cats.

Seeing the doy dog out of the corner of my eye. He reminds me of his sister and I turn to see her, only she isn’t there.

Looking at the new pup and thinking that she is a good girl but can’t replace my old girl.

It is hard for me to look at him without thinking about when he might die because of his inoperable tumour.

And when I walk the dogs, I wonder about my cat that went missing.

I tried so hard to help the dogs, draining all of my savings because I wasn’t able to help my cat who died at home suddenly after moving house.

I haven’t been dealing with the grief. It has been a rough year and with the difficulties with my husband I have been rather distracted and haven’t processed these feelings fully.

I believe that being around something or someone rubs off on you. I also think that memories and time spent together makes things more meaningful.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget them and they will hold a place in my heart and mind forever.

What has been hard is looking at pictures and feeling like I’m forgetting exactly what they look like. I still remember the gist. The markings. Mistaking another cat for mine. That was hard. I wanted to believe that she was alive and okay.

I know that they were just borrowed, gifts from the universe (as are we all). They were all special to me and a great comfort. It is going to be hard when my boy who is basically an untrained PTSD dog passes. He can tell when I have episodes and comforts me.

Even grief over my relationship with my husband came up. Mourning the effects of the difficulties on the relationship for the past year.

I know from experience that at some point the pain gets easier once you’ve processed it enough. It can take some time to do though.

Also, I’m coming to terms with anxiety around my health and exercise.

I realised because of taking beta blockers that bodily sensations scare me and contribute to my fear.

I almost died due to health issues and couldn’t walk for a time in my 20s. It’s taken a toll. I pushed myself really hard to keep my dogs. Walking them despite being in agony and not having the strength to hold them.

Now, I get anxious when I exercise. I get afraid because I know that if I do too much I will trigger a flare up and I’ll be in a lot of pain. And when I get anxious pain sensitivity increases and muscle tension increases. Also, it is just about the only time when I’m alone. The only time I have to think and process my emotions.

Today has been a lot.

Hi John

Oh yes, definitely and in religion too.

I think the example was feeling guilty about being angry at someone. I expect I will have to do some work on understanding my motivations too.

That is a very difficult job. And when you were doing it you were responsible for the caller’s safety. It’s a unique position to be in because every caller to a distress line is potentially suicidal. You would have had to be extremely aware of what is going on and extremely careful. These kinds of jobs often take a toll on the people who work them.

Perhaps these feelings are related to that job?

You are right. It is distressing when someone threatens suicide. It is considered a form of abuse to do that. I’m sorry that you experienced that. It was a very brave and kind thing that you were doing helping people in need. I’m glad that you and your wife both had each other’s support.

Fortunately for me, my experiences dealing with suicidal people were not in a professional setting, so I haven’t had the pressure of responsibility over handling the situation. That would be very intense. It has mostly just been family and friends for me.

Love, peace and blessings! ❤️🙏