Hi there. Ivygrl again.

First of all, I feel better. My problem turns out to be misconcepted. Based on the very first message in the forum, my Mom, stepfather, and I were upset that day, my original caretaker actually was a mean, harsh person (the thing i did not notice was that she had a harsh issue and obviously she had a boyfriend who has had problem with her in her life and complained and wasn’t successful. My original caretaker Made me cry a lot as well in the library). And she was kicked out and banned from my caretaker list right after the incident, and that’s why i wrote the very first message forum. I also did get punished at the Time. But i was so upset and stressed and stubborn and didn’t know how to change at the Time.

And yes i do have autism, and some adhd issues, But my problem now isn’t about autism. It’s about my lack of proper Attitude that caused myself problems. I was so upset and angry i didn’t know how to Let go and become a better person. But my teachers are trying to help me.

Second, I also want to know that i have a brain problem where i can’t always get what i want. How do i fix and mend this problem realisticly and not creaste tantrums? Other than that, i’m going to try to make my own stories, and have fun.

I am so sorry i was upset and mean. Can you forgive me? I have my own future and dream to realize, But i want to be better and More flexible. I want to do More yoga and savasana. I’m sorry . I hope you are fine and i want to be happy and not bored. Btw, moved to a new apartment (not gonna Tell you where though).

Thirdly, i’m in a new apartment. I feel better But i’m scared of being an outsider at my new job program site, when i finish senior year of my high school. I want to be happy and not sad. What should i do now to be on a better Path?

By the way i’ll make my own journals and diaries private, because i don’t want then to laugh at me and think my stories are trash. These journals i Will make them into comics. I won’t publish anything until i practice a lot. How should i practice.

I got this , and i can rise again.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>From, Ivygrl.</p>
 

I can get help, if I BEILEVE!

Ok then , I’m sorry

Here are my critiques for my short stories I wrote and they were from bad to worse. I cannot reply to them back because my account was banned! They even restricted access using this:

Cute Dagashiya story: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=154117

please help me! This site is out of my control and I want to ignore this site permanently from my brain!! Please read the reviews and tell me what do you think of my story!!! Please!

Just give me an answer already!! From, Ivygrl.

Hi guys,
It’s @Ivygrl, I’m sorry I didn’t return for a while.

There is a site I went to at one point, called YWS aka “Young Writers Society”.
( https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/index.php ) . But they restricted me and banned me out of the site indefinitely and permanently. And It was all my fault. My relationships from that site involved pimping, spamming, and trying to get friends that understand my questions in MY ANGLE, to get help that I need for my writing. I have (and have had) writer’s fatigue, writer’s block, and felt like I got an empty, sad, black hole anytime I enter this site. When I learned about the permanent ban in my account, It’s was so jarring and upsetting, I cried and wished I would run inside a hole and quit. And even wish to die and commit suicide myself. One I see this website, I get in tears and cry like a baby wanting something. It bothers me, because no one likes me in this site and they me to quit entering. I will never remove this memory, I will just dig a straight hole and hurt myself if I can’t figure out a solution to forgive. Affirmations and positive thinking won’t help, it’s going to be too strong to control.

Every time I’m entering this site, I am digging an even bigger hole in the spot I’m digging at with a machine drill. What am I supposed to do?

The good news is I decided to go to Reddit and discord for better help instead of YWS .

For New Years resolutions:
– Goal 1 is to make my own regular American novels and make my own Original English Light Novels (based on Asian Light Novels). And maybe I can make drawings and comics on the side, when I’m not working on light novels.

– Goal 2 is to work to receive achieving grades for my report cards and achieve my classwork and homework at school to get free time.

– Goal 3 is to practice and play the ukulele. And Goal 4 is to play my new limited edition Uno game (The Uno artiste Takashi Murakami limited edition game, that my mom gave me) with my friends.

I don’t know how to achieve Goal 1 and Goal 2 for the New Years resolution yet. What should I do?

And I almost forgot I’m now 18 years old because my birthday came and years passed when I didn’t go back to this site for a while, because in the previous years I was 16-17 y.o.
If you want to be my friend, hit me up! And if you want, we can chat in Google chat, email, Reddit, and/or discord.

Maybe my family is right, they will never relax for me, and think I don’t need help. My stepdad becoming worse at jokes, and I’m angry at him, if he keeps farting at my brother I desperately want to hide into a hole and the give up.
From, @Ivygrl . Please if anyone NEW is here, please respond to my message. that includes YOU, @Helcat !

Hi it’s Ivygrl,

“my life is in danger“- can you tell me, Ivygrl, what you mean by this sentence?

– @anita , this is for you, please respond immediately, I have depression and no one is ever happy with me. In my mind my mind is a scary jury trial that always right. I’m always bum  and never right. I am improving in one way because I found the error in my ways, and I’m feeling better. But what about my future? I want to be a better writing but what if I’m never enough? I’m esopolistic and have a half empty glass. Whatever does that mean?

I find some of your wording (choice of words) endearing in its originality: “I’m trying to ignore any baby cries that I always do” (Nov 12, 2022). It reminds me of another expression from your original post, almost a year ago: “I was with my caregiver but I felt sad and did whining, crying, and wailing habits with my mouth within” (Dec 19, 2021). I never asked you what you mean by mouth within. Can you tell me?

– By “mouth within” and the quote I did from 2021 , I meant to say I was with my former caregiver at that time, and I was really upset and very sad (because I cried tears). Once I cry with tears and start yelling and screaming while crying, no one will ever like me, that’s what my family and other people that I know believe. Crying while yelling = loser/outsider.

I want to be the most powerful girl being on earth! I failed, Because I’m not strong enough and I give up very easily!

I need help! Please! I’m not good enough! I’m so vulnerable in front of my family it’s like a mix of the saddest parts in Enchanto 2022 movie and the scariest part of 22 in the movie Soul.

I am weak! please help me. there is this wording phrase about the subconscious mind that says “you have a glass that is half empty/half full”. What does that mean?

please help I have autism, depression, and some types of anxiety disorders that I do not know the names of. I’m never good enough. I thought I loved to write until my passion diminished and stopped making me happy (thanks to my burnout issues and my scary cursed depression).

I’m ready to improve my writing. How can I ever be the most famous writer that I want to be?

I was indefinitely banned from the young writer’s society (YWS) because of my harassing and spams. I quit my form of writing (horror) and I knew I’m never good enough, because I’m weak. I want to write comedy (lighthearted). I’m a cursed person, because my mom knows the future. I am always angry and tense, and once no one listens I fight back and become even angrier and more tense, because no one will ever listen to my problems and I want to be a famous writer when I grow up. I’m going to be 18 years old soon, and if no one solves my problems, what would I become? A monster! That’s what!

How can I be a happy better person? How can I permanently be the best writer ever? How can I raise my confidence, self esteem, and start getting people to love me forever? How do I write comedy? How do I make everyone happy with my writing? How can I ever be half full in my drinking glass? How can I ever change my life in happier and positive ways?

Please help me and write down in the comments!

from, Ivygrl.

Hi again, it’s Ivygrl.

@anita and @Helcat, I need your advice, everyone else can (newbies welcome as well!) tag along too.

Sorry about the previous message. I was upset last time, because of a Fiction Writing story forum website did a permanent ban with my account. I wanted to learn how to write in a journal and learn how to write stories, but I spam and harass at that site because no one takes me seriously. It’s freaking me out last time, and no one listens to what I want to say, and even if they do listen, they think I’m not good enough or worthy. They think of me as unnecessary and average. No one can even stand up for what I have to say.

An average day for me now is that, I either stay at home and not go outside, unless there’s an event or a chance to let me go to the library with my new caregiver. And that still doesn’t give me a chance to have more fun, and enjoy life, because I have to use a tablet and no phone. And my family does like me, and they always think life is worse when I’m disappointed. It’s like they know that when there’s a monster pooping on you, it means “bad luck”. It makes no sense!! when there’s one person at school crying, it’s like they know a secret about crying that can help you fit in and not spread negativity! What could that secret be? Are they wizards who knows better than me? That’s how I feel. I am just an average person at school with autism. An so far I have no doctor who can help me figure out my conditions!!!

For an average day of my school days, I have to go to school in a school bus at 6:30 AM and go back home by school bus before 3:00 PM. School classmates are usually better than me, and a student I maybe like always has to follow my every lead like she’s the BABY and I’m the MOM. I’m not a baby I am better than her, but I can’t tell her this. If my teachers hear me say anything negative to students, I’m a loser and I’m in big trouble because I know I’m not supposed to bully others, but I’m sick of letting my ‘friend’ follow me every time. What do you think I should do? I live in a “Special Education” school program, which has a room that I always go in. I’m jealous of the other students at school because most of them are A students, and they can go to college, can go outside more to get drinks at Starbucks, or go to get a delicious Mexican empanada (because there are restaurants and food stores nearby my school), and they win at school contests or school assignment challenges. I want to win school contests and challenges like these people. And I am smart, but I lose in these contests or challenges. How do I win???

by the way, the “opinion based, specific” formats I want so desperately, are that I need YOUR opinion, and it has to be detailed because no one give my answer the proper angle in want it to be. They also have to give me advice based on those questions! The advice has to be in a long message format, not short and boring.

When I interact with people, I am fine, I don’t cry or be rough. I don’t want to cause conflict with others at school, because once you are in trouble at school, it’s too late. I’m either passive or passive-aggressive. And I don’t have time to be too assertive to others when I’m upset.

Also, do you have any journaling advice and ideas on how to be comfortable with a journal and making comics? I like Youtubers, but no one in Twitter or Youtube ever likes me. And when I ask for twitter info, they refuse to listen. I really need help with this, what can I do so that I can be a better writer and comic artist? Besides the story I wrote one time???

I don’t know how to stop being hard on myself, and I don’t know how to start acceptance. It’s getting out of my control. What can I do?

Please help me, and remember I want specific and detailed answers,  and answer my questions!

Thank you, From, Ivygrl.