Update and more advice requested:

Since the last post here, the guy and her did not work out and it failed. She came to me and said she was sorry and told me I was right. Since then, our relationship has really blossomed. We’ve continued our friendship, our fwb, and she’s been flirting and getting a lot personal with me.

However, today she came to me and told me there was a guy she knew irl who she had no romantic interest for but he asked her to start a fwb. She told me she was asking how I felt about it because we were doing it and she said “I care about you and I see us having an irl relationship and I wanted to see if you felt comfortable”. That was a shock to me. I’m really glad she communicated with and was honest. I told her I didn’t control her life, but it would make me feel uncomfortable, a little jealous, and I felt it would lead to problems. She seemed to be fine with what I said and seeemed nice after.

Im really confused. Now at a time when our friendship was going pretty well, it seems like this could be a negative thing. I’m worried that this could hurt the trust between us, cause distance, or result in some issues.

Update (A little confused on what this means but positive). My ex and I talked a little more today on snapchat and we joked a little bit, not too much. Tonight, after she was finished with her work shift, I got a text from her and it was a tik Tok making fun of me (as a joke). She then called me and sounded a little stressed and said “I need your advice on this guy”. Now, at first I was a little upset that she came to me after she asked space from me. Anyways, she vented and told me that he had ignored her feelings, pushed her away, she even called him “manipulative”, told me he constantly discussed his depressive issues. Putting my jealously aside, I’m proud I was able, I was kind and nice and I gave her advice like she was a friend coming to me. However, she talked about how she really liked him.

However, things got awkward. During this conversation we started talking about what we wanted in relationships. A lot of what we said matched with what each other wanted. Then, she says “wow, we’ve been on call an hour and it feels like only 10 minutes with you”. The conversation was going well, it was positive, and we laughed and I joked with her, and then the conversation about the other guy faded away. She then said “I really am attracted to guys who workout and their backs and your back is so attractive especially your freckles all over your shoulders”. Ok, I was a little confused because at that moment she was flirting with me, but I played this off and continued to talk. Then she was like “lets do something fun, let’s take a love quiz together”. I went along with this, but throughout the whole thing we started to talk about our relationship more and what we wanted in relationships.

At the end of talking, she started flirting again and said “you know if you ever want to do fwb stuff or have some fun let me know”. Multiple times, she also hit on me through this, but again I played this off.

She seems to really like this guy, but when we started talking I noticed I had matured in my communication skills since we broke up and it seemed we had the same mindset on things. I’m happy I was able to give her advice and that she trusts me and now knows maybe I was right, but when she started flirting with me I’m not sure if this means she still has feelings or just wants to do some fwb stuff.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to date again. She texted me again this morning, although way less than yesterday, and asked me a question about economics.  I do have family members, but over Covid I’ve lost most of the contacts I keep while irl. My confusion is just based around if she’s texting me to generally ask me questions or is she trying to start up a conversation.

Actually, thinking back (sorry, I’ve had a long day) I asked her yesterday would streaks be ok and she said “yeah its fine, snaps don’t really bother me”.

Should I still send something like that above or just leave it at streaks with no more communication until she contacts me?

Thank you, I really appreciate the advice and it gives me comfort knowing that I have some help. Just a question, do you think me messaging her again after all the apologizing and talking yesterday would be too much and feel like I’m contacting her again? I have a streak going with her (we sent each other snaps today, just blank pics).

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by James15.

It was an online relationship, but it worked  well until the last few months. We knew each others families, friends, etc.