Hi Angie

Either way, you are going to win if you look at things from my perspective.

What does Angie want ? Truly want ? If you had only few more years to live, what would you want to do starting today ? Just do that.

I am sorry for the suffering that your husband is going through. Look, we all make choices in life. Sometimes, we make choices without understanding their consequences. Good choices often do us good and bad choices = bad consequences. He is going through suffering for what he created at some stage. Unfortunately, he didn’t know any better than and he doesn’t know any better now. But you do ! You want happiness, you want peace and most importantly, you want love. There is nothing wrong with those wants.

What is really important is that you can live with your decisions without fear, guilt, resentment or anger. Can you do that ? Do you feel Angie is worth enough to demand love, respect and care just like anyone else? If yes, your decision is made and it will bring you loads of positivity. If your decisions fill you up with negativity, then you are on the wrong path.

Ask your higher self for guidance. I am sure you will be led to the right path soon enough.

Sending you courage, compassion and loads of positive energy.

Jasmine

Hi Zita

I am so happy for your transformation 🙂

If I were you, I would mind my own business and stay away from any form of contact with this ex. When we have clear boundaries for ourselves and others, we stay out of trouble. When there is no expectation, there wont be any disappointment. When there is no disappointment, there wont be any misery :). We are not here to fix anyone or let someone fix us. We are perfect as is and some know this as soon as they enter this world, while for others like us, we are learning as we grow from each experience.

Life is beautiful and enjoy that journey. Let him go and let him enjoy his journey. Offer prayers for him so that you can truly move on in life. Trust me as I say that in a few years, you will be laughing at all of this and making few beautiful babies with a lovely partner 🙂

Blessings,

J

Thanks Parul

Hi Steph

Hmmmmmm. You have a huge conflict going on in your mind. It is not even a question of passion here. Your problem seems to be a fear of something. Only you can answer this for me.

I will use a very drastic example here and see if it makes any sense to you – when someone is so depressed that they can’t bear no more, they often find a way to commit suicide despite knowing all the potential consequences if they survive. When someone is unsure, they make many attempts until one attempt may give them the release they need. Then there are others, who keep talking about it and making plans but nothing eventuates except for self pity and lots of sympathies from others. Pls do not try above.

When the emotion is too strong to bear, our lower or higher self takes us over. We don’t want to work from our lower self as that feeds on sadness, negativity, fear, guilt, anger, resentment etc. However, if we work from our high self, we have infinite faith in our powers and we know that we are awesome as is and will find a way to make this life awesome in some form or other. Possibilities are limitless when we act from our high self. There is no fear but only immense faith that everything will work out for our highest good just like how a mother suddenly starts producing milk for the newborn. A newborn doesn’t come into this world with a fear that hey, will I survive without feeds ? It knows instinctively that his or her needs will be taken care of as there is someone much more powerful than him or her looking after its needs.

Similarly, someone is looking out for you too. Let that power guide you in your actions. Sitting quietly with eyes closed in a dark room and focussing on your breathe in and out, you will reach a state of calm in a few mins and then ask yourself the questions that need answers. Wah lah and problem solved 🙂

You will be fine as my higher self tells me that. Loads of positive energy coming your way.

Jasmine

Thanks Everyone

Hi Libby

I am sorry for your suffering. Hey, sometimes, doing hypnotherapy with an accredited practitioner (who specialises in PTSD, fears and anxiety) may help as it is often a particular incident, which can cause your body and mind to go into overdrive. There is always energy healing that can do wonders in the right hands.

Sending you loads of positive energy and may you find the help that you need.

Jasmine

Hey hey

Thanks. I am glad to be of help.

The outcome you want is love so focus on that. Do not bring other conflicting ideas into the equation. Life is simple 🙂

Whats the worst that can happen in any relationship – fall out !! So whats the big deal ? We find someone else and enjoy the experience all over again (art of detachment). But when you are in a relationship, at least enjoy the experience for what it is worth rather than figuring out who is hurting me, how, when and why. When we live in the present moment and take everything as lessons learnt, we do not fear hurt or rejection. We learn from these emotions to become the BEST.

To a more confident Angela D who doesn’t fear anything or anyone in this world. Let it all roll and she will handle it all with a brave heart and a big smile on her beautiful face 🙂

J

Hi Angela D

Thanks for your post.

I am so glad that you listened to your heart and didn’t leave the relationship with unanswered questions. Hey, I am in no way a relationship guru but will offer my personal perspective on what I feel after reading your post. See if it resonates with you.

First of all, you need to stop beating yourself with the guilt that you have done something wrong. What is right or wrong and according to who ? It is the society’s conditioning, isn’t it ? Sometimes, we need to go beyond the environment and do what is important for our self growth. According to my 35 years of experience in this world, there are no absolutes. Every relationship, incident and person comes into our lives to teach us something valuable. If we learn our lessons, we grow and move forward. If we do not, we get stuck in the rut and all sorts of negative emotions take us over and we keep repeating the cycle of pain and suffering.

You are stuck in one of these cycles of creating negative emotions and that in turn determine your actions. For example, you have a need for love and stability in your mind but you feel guilty at the same time for a number of reasons ( personal beliefs, religious beliefs etc). This turns into insecurity and then you do actions that make you feel worse off and you go through the cycle again. You need to break the cycle and work from your higher self.

You shouldn’t feel guilty about giving into your lust. You felt love for this guy and you wanted to take it to the next level of relationship. What is wrong with this ? Yes, I understand you wanted to save yourself for your husband and that is very kind of you but sometimes, we need to go through an experience to evolve as a lover and person. You cannot keep crushing your needs that you felt at the time. There is a difference between a one night stand and what you did. In my eyes, neither are wrong. However, the emotion of guilt that you have created after fulfilling a need is not s right action. I hope you can keep only the happy memories of what happened between you and him during that time. Pls let go of the guilt. Once you are able to do this, you will feel so light and chilled.

You appear to function from a level of insecurity when it comes to this relationship. Again, there is nothing wrong if you are in a passive aggressive relationship and many people do well in such relationships. I do not do well in such relationships. I am not an insecure person and I do not need validation from my partner to make me feel special. I wasnt born with this trait. I have worked really hard on myself in my late twenties to be where I am today. All my failed relationships have taught me heaps and I have embraced each lesson to become the better person I am today. There is still more to learn though :). You can learn and grow too :).

Insecurity arises when we are stuck to the outcome rather than the process. We tend to work from negative belief systems such as that we need to chase things or people to get their attention and validation; actions speak louder than words (i am not denying this); if someone works on the road, they are in danger of some sort; people are out to get me; people do not care about my needs etc.

If you want to evolve from this relationship and become a better person in the long run then I suggest that you work on the guilt and insecurity. Develop new belief systems – my happiness is not dependent on someone else; I am safe and so are my loved ones; it is all happening for my highest good; I accept myself the way I am and I accept others as they are (with their positives and flaws as no one is perfect as a human); I give myself space and in the process, I give space to everyone around me; I am loved and I share my love with others regardless of their conditons.

When we become too pushy, demanding or fixated on outcomes, we forget to enjoy the present moment. We become engulfed with negativity if things do not go our ways. Sometimes, you gotta give things time and space to bloom. You don’t expect a seed to grow into a mango tree in days as this process takes years. So why are we always in a hurry to achieve an outcome in real life ? Why cant we let things just evolve and give them space they need to grow and show their real form ? This often happens when we are working from a lower self rather than our higher self.

Hey, you didn’t waste any time or energy. I think you have gained so much from the last few days but may not be aware of it as yet as you are still working from your underlying belief that his actions speak louder than words. Can you pls give this guy some space and time to be himself ? If you are not able to then I suggest you move on. Learn the lessons and work on self.

When you love yourself and respect yourself the most, no one can walk all over you or be fake around you as you vibrating positivity in the purest form. You are telling the next person that as I have accepted myself the way I am and happy in my own skin, I am happy to accept you as you are. Now, how wonderful is that ? No pretensions, no insecurities, no guilt, no fear or instability of mind.

Lastly, you should become such a positivity magnet that when a person with a foul mood comes into your presence (either physically, phone, social media etc), they should forget their negativity at the door. When this occurs, you do not work from a place of anger, unhappiness or guilt. You are a pure pleasure to be around 🙂 If we can all become such magnets, I think staying in love will become easy.

So 3 lessons that we can learn:
– you didnt waste time or do anything wrong. You have evolved from this experience for the better. There are no mistakes in life but only lessons. As long as we learn the lessons, we get to move to the next lesson that this Life School wants to teach us. If we don’t, we get stuck in the rut and need to repeat the lessons again.
– I am awesome and evolving. I am working on my self-esteem. I am learning to express my needs in an assertive rather than passive-aggressive manner.
– I am working from higher rather than lower self to preserve my harmony, peace and stability. I accept myself and everyone else as they are. I trust, respect, love myself and others effortlessly.

Does this help ?

Jasmine

Hey RF

Life is all about evolving so no stress.

I read a nice article today, which differentiates contentment from complacency well. Contentment encourages you to continue your creativity and self growth as teachings in life school never end. Complacency makes you arrogant and stunts your personal or professional growth as it makes you feel that you have done it all and their is nothing more to learn. Hmmmmmmm.

So the trick is to keep growing lifelong in either direction, it seems. Lol

Have a great week ahead and loads of smiles.

Jasmine

Hi Kitty @coolpartner

Hmmmmmmm……..look, everyone will have an opinion when they read your post and to some it will be quite clear as to what needs to be done in such a situation. However, someone else’s opinion or advice is not going to work for you.

You need to figure out one thing – what do you want ? If you were to read this post (suggest print it out rather than read from the screen) assuming it is from a close friend, what will be your reaction and what would you suggest ? Thats probably what you need to do.

If you need more clarity with this situation then I suggest that you do some food donations to needy or children around your place and do breathing meditation for 20 mins or so daily for a few days at least. I feel that should assist in your decision making capacity. Breathing meditation can be done by sitting quietly in a dark room. Inhale “calm and peace” through nostrils and exhale “negativity” out through nostrils and keep doing that for 20 mins. You can visualise bright light going in and darkness coming out if it makes it easier. You will feel light and bright after the session.

Good luck and may you get the strength to do what is right for your highest good,

Jasmine