Morning everyone, thank you for your kind words, I’m glad I’ve been able to make useful contributions to the thread when you was all so helpful to me when I was going through the worst of it.

Danny I’m glad my posts helped when you’ve had such a difficult few days, I don’t wish them situations on anyone and it’d hard not to start blaming yourself when it’s not even I’m your control and I felt you definitely needed to be reminded of that, although you made an a insensitive comment I feel you will get to the bottom of what’s going on and things will be better for it in the long run, hoping that all levels out for you in the coming days bro.

Sammy I’m so glad your bf liked the message in the bottle gift! As you said the thought that goes into a gift like that is powerful and also something you can keep forever rather than aftershave etc, I recall last year my ex was having a tough time with her kids and being isolated from the first lockdown I sent her a silver plated rose with a sweet little message engraved and she appreciated that at the time, I like to think she would keep that and have a reminder of a sweet gesture.

I know I’ve not really commented on my own feelings recently because if I’m honest it is slowly getting easier as time goes on, it’s kind of a sad feeling knowing it’s fading away and she’s pretty much gone from my life now but at the same time it’s good to not have anxious feelings constantly and also to not keep thinking about what’s going on in her life, I am still curious of course about how she is because I think I will always care about her know matter what has happened and how things have turned out.

I did actually match someone on tinder and have a long conversation with them, the distance is quite far and if I’m honest I don’t really feel like I would like to go any further than just chat at the moment. However it was good to know that I could have a conversation and flow with it, just reinforces that when I do feel like I want to I have nothing to worry about, was a good confidence booster.

I’ve done well over the last couple of weeks, kept my spending to a minimum so I can try save for my goals, my appetite seems to have returned to normal now so I will definitely have to up my gym sessions! Also I’m getting more sleep although I still wake up first things with anxiety it does seem my body is coping with things a lot better than I was.

So on the whole I’m not exactly happy and in the best place because I do terribly miss her from my life still but things are moving in a better direction and I’m slowly but surely getting there lol

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Jay.

Danny bro, sorry I’ve been quiet, didn’t feel great yesterday so spent most of it asleep and not paying attention to my phone. Sorry to hear how your feeling mate, especially after sending the message, I still think you need do stay strong and wait it out, you’ve done all you can until she’s ready to speak, she will when she is good and ready too.

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Jay.

It is comforting mate, this thread was what I never had before when I went through all the same crap and felt terrible, it has been a godsend to have people I don’t even know to show so much compassion. We are all good people who have gone through a hard time and give it each other the time to help thorugh difficult situations which in itself is such a nice thing.

Myself I know in my heart it’s been over for a long time and was never right but I still even to do this day long and miss for that person for whatever reason it may be, my low esteem and the unknown or I generally loved the girl, even after this time I can’t stop thinking about her and what could of been but I’m being real with myself and know I need a lot more than what I got from it and journeying a new path to hopefully greater good.

I’m very open to making casual connections that aren’t physical, that’s all I want at the moment, I’m not a typical male who wants to just sleep with women, yes I enjoyed the physical connection with my ex but I miss the daily messaging and calls more than anything. I know something will happen when not expected, I’m not chasing I’m content in my routine and I want to explore my own personal issues with therapy as well to understand myself more because if I’m honest like Sammy said I do feel lost but I do know I have a lot of good to give and I never used to feel that way.

For me at the moment it is just going day by day and not forcing anything.

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Jay.

Evening Danny, touched you would ask me mate, me personally I would just say along the lines of: I know what has happened has affected you but I am truly sorry, I love and care for you more than anything but am giving you space, I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and want to resolve things when you are ready to do so.

Not sure if that’s right but that’s what I would send, you said yourself it’s better to explore deeper face to face but the txt is just to shoe your thinking of her and respecting her space the same time.

Bro I didn’t mean rethinking! I just meant a small seed of doubt given your history, I think it’s totally normal for anyone to have that with marriage, it definitely doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to, let her work it out and have a good discussion when she’s ready, like I said it could be of benefit to really talk it out so your all on the same page. I know you think the world of her and she must know that and you know the feeling is mutual so you just need to navigate the bump in the road and everything will be fine I’m sure of it.

Danny I completely sympathise with you, I would feel exactly the same and over think but I’m sure she would not get cold feet over a misunderstanding, I’m so sure time will level everything out and you’ll both learn from the situation, we’re not perfect but in the grand scheme of things it’s a not massive issue, I’m sure once she had cooled off you’ll discuss in detail and it will be water under the bridge. She’s upset because she cares a great deal about you, you’ve both come back stronger from a lot worse so everything will work itself out, chin up mate and try not to worry so much.

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Jay.

Thanks Danny, I hope so I’m nowhere near out of the woods but it’s no as bad as it was everyday, I know I’m doing the right things and now it’s just time before things move in a better direction for good. I know that I still need the therapy because I have other issues I need to deal with as well so I can only benefit from that, when I get the appointment I’ll have a few sessions and they will determine what my needs are, I’m still feeling down at times with the medication but it has helped and the dosage is not really high and to be honest I don’t want a stronger one, I just felt I needed what I’m on at the moment temporarily so will see how I go over the next few months.

As I said mate I’ll keep the thread on my phone and check regularly to stay in contact, I’m sure I will post if I need any help and be happy to help if I can in anyway.

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Jay.

Understood Sammy, I know where your coming from, I could of just come here and not had a few drinks and I would of probably let me mind wander and think about things, I just felt in a well state of mind that I could just relax and loosen myself up, I’ve felt so good in myself and I do feel like I’m making progress.

When I see that picture before I went on heavy drinking session and it was a bad decision, I’m in a better mind frame today and feel comfortable with it, I’m still aiming for my goals and nothing will change that! You are right as well, I don’t know who I am at times and it does change, as a human being you make decisions in the moment, whether it’s a mistake or not I will try my hardest to learn from it.

I do appreciate your concern though and I don’t want to disappoint you or anyone else because I know you want the best for me!

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Jay.
• This reply was modified 3 years ago by Jay.