Hi Anita,

I titled the thread “In shock – literally” because at the moment I did go into shock. My boyfriend withdrawing does happen often but I sat down and spoke with my sisters on the issue and they opened my eyes to some things. I enable his disrespectful  behavior because I’m so tolerant and I also didn’t question him withdrawing since I wanted a break for quite some time… It had me thinking about the boundaries I don’t have in my current relationship and for myself and that’s when I realized that I’d built an identity out of my relationship. Without him I am still someone, I’m just very disconnected to her. I was shocked at how far I’d thought I’d come in my journey just to find out I was “growing” on all the wrong pretenses. I tried to find my worth in a man, I tried to find confidence in appearances alone, I tried to basically create a foundation for my life that had nothing to do with me. I was extremely upset with myself, so much so I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve never felt this unbalanced before and I’m not sure how to bounce back.

Hi Anita,
To answer your questions I’m not sure my sister remembers this fact about me. I have told her in the past but I feel like it’s slipped her mind. She determines being spoiled as someone who complains about the situation they’re in but doesn’t try to help themselves. I do agree with her on that but I personally feel I have a lot going on internally that makes it hard for me to really reach and pursue goals.

I’m currently an English Major but I feel as though I could be working right now since I have bills to pay. I don’t know what I want to pursue career wise but my family says otherwise and I’m trying to make the best of it but it just feels hopeless. I don’t know what to do with myself.