- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Anonymous.
November 28, 2016 at 9:35 pm #121438kennishaParticipant
I’m writing this post for help on getting my life together. First to start off, I have PTSD and major depression which stemmed from a rough time growing up. I’m trying to find my sense of worth but somehow I don’t feel I’ve gotten it yet. In fact, I feel like I’m going around in a circle AGAIN. I’m in school and I have this pattern that I’ve noticed which is to get excited about passing my classes in the beginning, start to lose interest/motivation in the middle, and then scramble to catch up with everything at the end. It sucks. The worst part about it is, I know that I’m doing it but it’s so hard for me to actually care or want to do something about it. I feel hopeless to be honest but I also feel lazy and – as my sister calls me – spoiled. I’ve unfortunately become the type of person that complains about life’s complexities but doesn’t want to do anything about it. I just feel low and purposeless. Being in school was something I want to master but at the same time, what’s the point? I just feel like I’m wasting time here and losing so many opportunities that could help me grow. Why do I make things so complicated for myself? Why can’t I just live a normal, happy life like people outside of myself? Help?November 29, 2016 at 4:38 am #121442InkyParticipant
I have to laugh at the sister calling you spoiled. Let me guess, an older sister, right? 😉
Don’t let her label influence you. Trust me, ALL older siblings think the younger ones have it easy. Now, if she’s a younger sister, maybe consider if there could be truth in it.
You are in school, which is what practically everyone your age is also doing. Don’t beat yourself up for coasting. Consider ~ if you didn’t “have” to do anything but COULD do anything you wanted to, what would you probably be doing?
InkyNovember 29, 2016 at 7:41 am #121449AnonymousGuest
You suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)- how does this fact translates to “spoiled” in your sister’s mind- and do you agree with her assessment of you?
Another question, for my better understanding, is: you wrote that you feel like you are wasting time in school and ” losing so many opportunities that could help (you) grow” – what are those opportunities and what are you studying in school, for what purpose?
anitaNovember 29, 2016 at 8:11 am #121450kennishaParticipant
To answer your questions I’m not sure my sister remembers this fact about me. I have told her in the past but I feel like it’s slipped her mind. She determines being spoiled as someone who complains about the situation they’re in but doesn’t try to help themselves. I do agree with her on that but I personally feel I have a lot going on internally that makes it hard for me to really reach and pursue goals.
I’m currently an English Major but I feel as though I could be working right now since I have bills to pay. I don’t know what I want to pursue career wise but my family says otherwise and I’m trying to make the best of it but it just feels hopeless. I don’t know what to do with myself.November 29, 2016 at 8:40 am #121455AnonymousGuest
You are not spoiled. You are not helping yourself because you need help first. You need help so to learn how to help yourself. I am sure you did your best to help yourself so far, again and again. But you are stuck in circles because after all your efforts, you find yourself unmotivated and depressed, again and again.
The reason you mentioned your PTSD and depression in the very beginning of your original post is that these are very, very significant to Every part of your life, including your schooling. And so, you still need help for your PTSD, still need to gain insight, understand more, learn skills to endure distress, keep as calm as you can be… and learn, over time, who you are, what you value and how to live your own life.
Did you attend psychotherapy before? If you did, what did you learn?