I can’t match the length of your posts, nor the quality I imagine… mmm don’t put the email on here that is for sure, endangering your privacy. I owe it to my partner for us to remain friends in the context of this forum only is what I’m trying to say. I’ll pop in here now and then. As I said before, these forum addictions are a concern. What happens is we get addicted to people, responses. Validation. Love.Acceptance. We get validation for being ourselves and that is not easy to get in the real world. usually we are encouraged to wear a mask, hide our true selves. We get rewarded for fitting in, being compliant, not complaining, not being a burden to anyone.
Not my last post but you take care, Anita.

No this forum is not real life like facebook.But I can’t act silly on there. Prospective employers? And how can I talk honestly about family matters with them all there as well?
But this is the real cyber me. I don’t hide my real opinion, which I might have to on facebook, due to political correctness. I am more free to be me here, which of course has turned out to annoy certain members. But no I’m not going to apologise for that. Maybe it shows that we have to wear a certain mask everywhere even online. We can’t be completely ourselves anywhere. Mmm, starting to bore myself, Better stop.

I’m hoping that poem I wrote for you leads to self-love, full and utter acceptance of yourself. because it is better for all of us not to become dependant on others’ love. That is like walking a tightrope, afraid to upset the other. Self-love is more useful, like a mobile phone, you can carry it around with you all the time. 🙂

You seem to have insight and answers to your own issues so there’s no need for me to offer any suggestions. I am similar in that I like to think I am the expert on myself. For both of us then, we need to emphasise the positive for the past and present. Can you see anything good happening to you at present? Today for instance, I took my dog for a walk this morning, and he was so appreciative, he hasn’t stopped smiling at me since then. I am grateful for this at least. But I can easily slip into negativity if I dwell on silly little melodramas that occurred in the past. (I don’t mean your past events were melodramas, just mine 🙂 )

ha my spelling mistake this time but a funny one “power” instead of “powder”. Maybe “power” is a Freudian slip. I think on any reasonable forum, Pomp would be suspended for that “guard dog” comment though.
You can’t expect me to say “you’re sorry, that’s Ok, move on”, as if it was nothing. So every time I agree with Anita, that label can be used against me. I’m entitled to feel humiliated and this is by far the worst “attack” on anyone in this thread. Pomp is accustomed to these battles. She’s used to stooping low, hitting below the belt. I try to maintain some dignity, some shred of self-respect in these confrontations. I can’t help thinking that Pomp reminds me of some unsophisticated people I’ve had to deal with in the past. So there’s my own example of transference I admit. I put Pomp in the category “too hard basket”. Emotional, unpredictable, hysterical, given to mood swings, dangerous. There’s probably a diagnosis for it. Why should I bother trying to help or understand such people? It’s not worth the effort. They’re too needy. Anita is more skilled and more compassionate in this regard. it proves to me I could never be a counsellor because I don’t have such broad empathy.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by jock.