anita (by the way, this is my real name and username and I was always and will always be anita on this forum)

authentic anita , no airs and graces, the real deal.
We need your stability on here.

I think we older members have learnt to have a thicker skin. One disagreement doesn’t have to be the end. I mean if we are just going to fawn over each other and never have a falling out, that’s not real compassion. That’s just superficial BS, in my view. 🙂 Real maturity is moving on from a dispute, and learning to accept each others’ idiosyncrasies, even they might annoy us.

I don’t long for power in relationships as much as I want respect and connection

I guess that is what we all want, Inky And let’s hope we can do that on here. 🙂

We don’t always see eye to eye Anita and really our perspectives are quite different. But this time I agreed with your point about direct language. Yes we need to be polite but we also should try to avoid ambiguity. Say what we mean. I like people getting to the point, saying what they mean and this is one of your strengths.
It’s funny how, a person’s style of communication, their phrasing, can influence us or make us like or dislike their online persona. Also, you can feel the tone of a person’s post through their choice of words. I can sense humility or arrogance as I’m sure most people can. I may come over arrogant or patronising sometimes and not be aware of it. So it is lack of self-awareness, how we are coming across to others.
Yes we can be accused of “reading between the lines” (reading too much)and I agree that is sometimes the case. We have no literal evidence. But I think this argument can also be used by people to protect their sneaky agenda. “who me? No I wasn’t attacking anyone. Look how innocent my words are!” It’s a strategy I’ve seen on forums before to protect themselves from getting in trouble with moderators or the more esteemed members of the forum.

Thanks Elle for your post. Obviously you are a really down-two earth and friendly person!