Forum Replies Created
Paul I think you should relax. You had a great night, you have no idea who is woman is, because you don’t really know her. The illusion of her is great, but you don’t know her. She seems airy, and if I was you I would not put too much into this, because again, you don’t know her. My advice is, back off, you have done your part and she clearly knows that you are very interested in seeing her again. Back off a bit, and let her get to you. See if she suggests something or you just might meet her again the same place. Don’t let someone who you have met for so short control so much of you. I know the connection might have felt outer worldy, but just be cautious.
Carly, the answer is you have to trust and love yourself. You are insecure about him because you are not completely happy with yourself. If he hasnt given you a reason to not trust him, then there really isnt a problem. By confronting him with this problem you are only pushing him away more – “If you love something, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours, if they don’t they never were.
HOWEVER; if you sincerely have a problem with him talking to her (and not only because you don’t trust their relationship) but if it’s just a principle of yours not wanting your bf to talk to an ex – then give him an ultimatum, either it’s her or YOU. Don’t be afraid of doing this – it can be, because what if he chooses her? But if he really respects your words he will step up and do as you said, if he doesnt, then you shouldnt waste more time on a man who is not responding to your needs.
I don’t know what you said in that text but it must have been something that hurt her deeply for not talking to you at all. We always find out what we want when we mess up. You have done your part on apologizing so don’t feel guilty now. We are only humans and we mess up sometimes. You have tried to contact her and make things better and if she isn’t responding I would say go on with your life – give her space, time. Take some time for yourself, go travelling, have fun. The most important thing is – you know you made a mistake and even more importantly, you have tried your very best to make things better. So my advice for you right now – let go and move on. Maybe in the future you will find your way back to each other. It’s hard I know, I have been in situations like that, but what I always comfort myself with is; I tried, I tried my best.
Thank you so much for all your feedback. Im glad that so many people are willing to put their time for me. I hope – in another relationship I can truly express my feelings/thoughts/emotions etc. The last guy who dumped me really crushed me, cause with this guy, I actually opened up and just told him the truth/my truth and it was all going well untill our 5th date. He was trying hard to give me compliments and approach me. The next day he told me that he was confused about us, and for the first time I stepped up – grabbed my phone, called him and asked him to talk about it face to face (thats big)!! I went to his house and we talked, and he told me that he felt like he was running against a wall and everytime he tried to kiss me or touch me I kinda dismissed him (which I dont feel like i did) but I guess I’m not aware of my bodylanguage. I told him it has nothing to do with him and if we could try over but he was totally over it – I even asked him if he wanted to give it another shot but he totally rejected me… Ugh.. for the first time I tried to save it but it was too late..
Does anyone know how you can improve your body language so it matches with your words and emotions? Cause I can’t imagine a anything worse that feeling rejected as a guy when he tried to approach you.. It was obviously so bad that he didn’t even want to give me another chance
Jasmine: I guess I havnt been 100 % myself – because who is when you are JUST getting to know each other – I have some things I keep to myself to protect myself but I think you are right – maybe I should just be myself and show my vulnerable side so they can get a more clear vision on why I am behaving the way I am. And if they leave because of the fact that I am myself – I guess they are not the right person for me!
The ruminant: I don’t really have male friends – only my friends’ boyfriends. This issue is only in my romantic relationships. I have good friends whom I have known for a long time – I don’t change friends at all.. My real/close friends are some I have had in my life for a long time. I think you are right – friendship first then maybe it could involve into something. The reason why I bring up the daddy issue part is because i ONLY date men who are older than me. Like 30, because I love the fact that they are mature and protective and I guess its because I really have the need of being taken care of and being someones.
I guess what I need to work on is not caring what others think and do/say exactly what I feel like to a man so he knows i DO CARE!
I have been trying to show more affection and love – but it just seems like a wall – I think too much about it and I just cant open up. But I still try to be more clear when communicating and telling people where and what I stand for without being afraid of their reaction. It’s harder than it sounds – to be more loving. I think there are more profond issues than “just” change it. I am willing to try though.
Any other thoughts?