Edit:

Thank you Anita for the lists of things to do. I really appreciate your help.

I wish I could respond to what you said afterwards, but I can not.

I am going back and forth this week and right now I have to get ready for work and I am frozen. I don’t want to go. I feel like I am not doing anything for my life. I don’t know what to do about the insanity going on in politics. In the next ten minutes I have to get up and get ready for work and I am dreading it. I feel like everything that I felt growing up has made it’s way into mainstream politics and women and men voted for the abuser. It’s been personally traumatizing for me as well as traumatizing as someone who believes in my country….and like the great puzzle that is my life I just don’t understand.

Work will be what it always is which is no comfort. I may not be able to respond until later as I do have to go to work.

Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant.

1 Corinthians 13: 4

I hope it’s ok to post this here. It really sums up how I feel about real love and I would just be repeating what it says anyway.

I am trying to give my interpretation of how I agree with the quote and I want to but struggling with the wording right now…

Thank you for your response also on the 17th Anita. I am glad to hear that you are not “alone.”

I want to bring this topic back up because it is more appropriate for me and I was right the first time.

I have never felt more rejected as a person, put down or alone in my life than I do right now.

Hi! Just posting to check in and say I am grateful for all the help I have received in this forum. Thank you Anita and others who have responded and thank you Gregory for following my threads. I like to know that Anita’s words to me are helping others.

Just checking in…I have felt that I would just go on and on everyday like I did in the beginning if I posted everyday. I am better than I was in a lot of ways and thank everyone for helping me to get there. I will try to post more.

Lisa

Hi Anita! So glad to know you are back! Hope you are well.

I am doing better than I have been since coming on to this forum. Not great but much better than the despair I have felt.

I would like to post again but right now just want to thank you and everyone else who have helped me on this forum. Thank you all so much. ❤️
<p style=”text-align: right;”>Posting soon! Have a great day! 😊</p>
 

Tee,

I will check out the YouTube channel you mentioned. Thank you so much!

Lisa

[quote quote=417098]Dear Lisa, I haven’t been on the forums when you first started writing, but got some understanding of your story by reading anita’s summary earlier on this thread. I am sorry you’ve been through all that trauma and that it is still affecting you, making you live in the survival mode.

I will never be successful if the people around me do not want to see success.

It seems you’re hoping that people would help you, but the kind of people you’re expecting help from aren’t really good and safe people? Perhaps you need to stop hoping to get anything from them, and start believing that you can make it without them? And instead of them, surround yourself with good, supportive people? Which are out there, no doubt about that. You have been through a lot as a child and experienced more than one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE). That’s why you are probably suffering from Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), like many children who have been emotionally abused or neglected (I suffered from it too). I was thinking if perhaps you would benefit from support programs offered at places such as the CPTSD Foundation (cptsd foundation dot org), where there are programs like Daily recovery support calls, Daily encouraging mails, Healing book club etc – all for survivors of childhood trauma. There is a small fee to pay for those programs, but maybe you can browse through the website, read some articles and see if you want to learn more about C-PTSD and recovery. Of course, there are numerous other resources on the net about C-PTSD. Let me know if it is something that interests you, and I can give you some more pointers…[/quote]

Tee,

Thank you for your response and for taking the time to look back into my thread for Anita’s summary. Thank you for your insight and for suggesting the CPTSD website. I will definitely look into it.

Thank you,

Lisa