Anita,

Glad to hear you are fine. To answer your questions, I continue to try and please people for my own survival. I have given up on them liking me.

In my life I have wanted to be around numerous people but you know the rest…

Sorry to just be getting back to you.

Lisa

Dear Anita,

I want to take some time readjusting my habits and will not be posting for more than a few weeks on social media.

I read what you posted and I am going to find that third group you spoke of the old fashioned way.  I want to find that third group.

Thank you again for all the help you provided for me and your endless empathy. Look forward to communicating with you again sometime in July.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Lisa.

Anita, I am sorry that I have not responded. I did not see your posts till now. I will respond later today or tomorrow.

I would like to thank you Anita and the few kind hearted people who tried to help me. Most people knew I was nothing and stood by that. Anita you and others are very exceptional. Just know that. Unfortunality you and they are very much outnumbered. It’s like trying to hold up very heavy boxes. You can only hold them so long before you collapse. I know you are genuine Anita as well as a few others…to all of you I say thank you for caring.

To all the ones out there who people think are kind hearted but are silent when another is attacked. Congratulations on your strategy. It has worked for you. You attached yourself to unfeeling people because they provided for you in some way and looked the other way while they attacked a nothing like me. Not only are you secure but you also have the privilege of being known as a nice person. Thank you for nothing.

To all the people who prop themselves up above others and know when and who to pretend to be kind to and who to attack, you will not have that ability forever so enjoy yourselves. It’s the last thing I have to cling to knowing you will not be able to harm forever. You will not be able to harm forever.

My only chance of survival now is to except my nothingness and be quiet among people. Writing is different because it can be a one way street and I can say what I think.

I am very sorry it has to be this way but people who care about everyone are outnumbered.

I am sorry Anita.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.

People bait me in so they can reject me over and over.

Didn’t reflect under topics is so appropiate for me. The forces that be.

I have mistreated others which is what hurts me the most. I can’t see myself as anything but a victum. I was a good child and so many things worked against me becoming a good adult. The same people who abandoned me and tore away at my self esteem, rolled their eyes at me, betrayed me….all stand up and do not believe they should be held accountable for anything.

I can not get over the person I became when it could have been different and I cry and cry and can not control or change my past.

I can’t show suffering. I needed help a long time ago and they let me sink.

I wasn’t strong enough to be good to the very few who loved me. They often annoyed the majority that hated me.

You tolerate me Anita because you do not kniw me. You do not have to work with me or be in the same room with me.

Everything moves too fast for me. When I’m upset, no one comes to me. When I’m calm no one comes to me, when appear happy no one comes to me. No one told me that I was not going to be loved by most.

I am not equal. There is a conservative habit of dismissing the difficulties of a group or person as to blame them completely for their what holds them back. No matter how much we do to you it is your responsibility to be successful. “Look at ____ .” They were able to do this or that.”

Progressive minded people do the same thing when it comes to small scale communities. They value one person over another but they walk around as if they do not so you can not call them out on it.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by Lisa.