[quote quote=417098]Dear Lisa, I haven’t been on the forums when you first started writing, but got some understanding of your story by reading anita’s summary earlier on this thread. I am sorry you’ve been through all that trauma and that it is still affecting you, making you live in the survival mode.

I will never be successful if the people around me do not want to see success.

It seems you’re hoping that people would help you, but the kind of people you’re expecting help from aren’t really good and safe people? Perhaps you need to stop hoping to get anything from them, and start believing that you can make it without them? And instead of them, surround yourself with good, supportive people? Which are out there, no doubt about that. You have been through a lot as a child and experienced more than one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE). That’s why you are probably suffering from Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), like many children who have been emotionally abused or neglected (I suffered from it too). I was thinking if perhaps you would benefit from support programs offered at places such as the CPTSD Foundation (cptsd foundation dot org), where there are programs like Daily recovery support calls, Daily encouraging mails, Healing book club etc – all for survivors of childhood trauma. There is a small fee to pay for those programs, but maybe you can browse through the website, read some articles and see if you want to learn more about C-PTSD and recovery. Of course, there are numerous other resources on the net about C-PTSD. Let me know if it is something that interests you, and I can give you some more pointers…[/quote]

Tee,

Thank you for your response and for taking the time to look back into my thread for Anita’s summary. Thank you for your insight and for suggesting the CPTSD website. I will definitely look into it.

Thank you,

Lisa

It doesn’t matter how hard I work. It doesn’t matter how much I care. It doesn’t matter how much time I devote to something. I will never be successful if the people around me do not want to see success.

Hi Anita! Thank you for checking in on me several times last year and thank you for wishing me a Merry Christmas. I hope your holidays were very nice.

I am sorry for not getting back to you but I did not check in so I did not see your posts till now.

I should go back to read what I last posted in April I think? I want to post more. How are you doing?

Lisa

Anita,

Glad to hear you are fine. To answer your questions, I continue to try and please people for my own survival. I have given up on them liking me.

In my life I have wanted to be around numerous people but you know the rest…

Sorry to just be getting back to you.

Lisa

Dear Anita,

I want to take some time readjusting my habits and will not be posting for more than a few weeks on social media.

I read what you posted and I am going to find that third group you spoke of the old fashioned way.  I want to find that third group.

Thank you again for all the help you provided for me and your endless empathy. Look forward to communicating with you again sometime in July.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.

Anita, I am sorry that I have not responded. I did not see your posts till now. I will respond later today or tomorrow.

I would like to thank you Anita and the few kind hearted people who tried to help me. Most people knew I was nothing and stood by that. Anita you and others are very exceptional. Just know that. Unfortunality you and they are very much outnumbered. It’s like trying to hold up very heavy boxes. You can only hold them so long before you collapse. I know you are genuine Anita as well as a few others…to all of you I say thank you for caring.

To all the ones out there who people think are kind hearted but are silent when another is attacked. Congratulations on your strategy. It has worked for you. You attached yourself to unfeeling people because they provided for you in some way and looked the other way while they attacked a nothing like me. Not only are you secure but you also have the privilege of being known as a nice person. Thank you for nothing.

To all the people who prop themselves up above others and know when and who to pretend to be kind to and who to attack, you will not have that ability forever so enjoy yourselves. It’s the last thing I have to cling to knowing you will not be able to harm forever. You will not be able to harm forever.

My only chance of survival now is to except my nothingness and be quiet among people. Writing is different because it can be a one way street and I can say what I think.

I am very sorry it has to be this way but people who care about everyone are outnumbered.

I am sorry Anita.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Lisa.

People bait me in so they can reject me over and over.