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LisaParticipantIt’s so frustrating!!!!! I go online to find help. I can’t find help anywhere. Every article tells me it’s fine to be a single woman. Yeah if that is what you want, yes, I agree, if that is what you want THEN it is fine….but what if it is not what you want?
I have been informed since day one that I am to be alone. No one has ever been concerned that I’m alone. Just trying to get me to accept it. I either received no help at all or had people pushing me towards men who weren’t right for me or men who only saw my worth physically.
I can’t stand injustice. When I see spoiled people in this country getting their every whim fulfilled while others in the world are treated poorly it makes me angry.
I don’t understand it. I was a pretty girl. I had everything. I had everything. I don’t understand why no one showed an interest in me.
Don’t tell me how I should feel or what I should think. These articles act like I am single by choice. Some are but I’m not. No one ever asks or looks deeper to find out why something is the way it is. I can’t fix a problem if I don’t know what is wrong and I am on a lost quest for an answer.
Every article talks about how it’s fine to be alone. It IS fine if that is what makes you happy but for people trying to fix what they view as a problem…it’s not helpful.
I was a pretty, talented, friendly and bright girl who started out life not expected and then being continually rejected…sometimes with much disgust in thier voice or a roll of the eyes.
If I didn’t comply with what boys wanted they would turn on me and made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of any praise.
I have tried to get help but I am tired of being told it is ok to be single when it is NOT OK for ME to be single. They speak to me likes it an irreversible problem that I have to deal with.
I am good at researching and I can find an answer to many problems but I can not find an answer to this one.
In these articles people bring up how they are talked to sometimes about their singlehood but the most painful thing for me is that people, family never ask me why I am alone or feel as if there should be any other way. I seem to run into a few women in my life… mostly older women who are completely put off by me and seem to revel in me not getting ahead or receiving friendship or life of any kind. It’s very strange. I can not be myself around them because they try to knock me down. These are women old enough to be my mother. They also treat women younger than me like they are worthy of attention from other people, worthy of praise, promotion…it’s like they all represent the mother in “Ever After” thinking only her daughters are worthy of attention and Danielle must be in an obsessive way kept from ever being happy. She can not be happy and I feel like I have run into that mother in every situation in life I have been in. Like it’s thier job that my self esteem.remain low and that I am never to think I am worthy. She’s right there making sure I do not experience happiness because my happiness can’t happen.
If you have ever seen the movie Ever After I can definately relate to the lead charactor of Danielle played by Drew Barrymore. The anguish she feels in that movie especially whe at the ball and she is attacked..that’s how I feel. Watch that scene and then imagine someone telling that charactor well the way you are treated is all your fault. Ella is outspoken and it does cause her grief. That is certainly true.
I am sorry I am rambling but I can only talk about how I am feeling and my emotions regarding my problem because I have tried to think about it logically but it makes even less sense to me because there us no logical reason I am by myself all the time.
Ironically the only people who SEE ME are married men. A few rare women and also ironically men who are much younger than me seem to see my worth as a person.
I’m so tired. I’m so tired of fighting. I’m so tired of crying. I’m so tired of feeling lonely. I am so tired of not finding the answer to my problem.
LisaParticipantI do not have a problem with however people mutually and happily conduct thier relationships. The injustice I feel is when thier way permeates the collective culture so much that it effects the happiness and self esteem of others.
It’s very difficult for me to accept that I can not be loved for who I am.
LisaParticipantI just want my intuition to be proven wrong. I want to be proven wrong.
LisaParticipantEverytime someone has contributed to my thread I was thankful and courteous to them.
It’s a convenient excuse for people not to talk to me. Show me where in my thread where I did not thank someone. I do not want you to but I know I have not not thanked them and I am not giving anyone in this life a free ride to not acknowledge that they simply look down on some women and not others. There is no evidence that I would be anything but respectful to them so then what?
I always appreciate your input Anita but you are rare. Most people only talk to people uf something is in it for them. I’m obviously not important. I’m not important to people. I would like to find out why?
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This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by
Lisa.
LisaParticipantI don’t know Anita. No one is going to respond to it unless I play “oh I love you guys” ❤ batting eyelashes unseen. Intellectual conversations by a woman who they don’t want anything from anymore? They weren’t interested in my brain once upon a time. What would make them interested now?
LisaParticipantTrust me Anita, I am not going to get responses from anyone but you and the reason is the same reason strong women are attacked. If I came in here all humble and weak and pretend I was someone the would be interested in saving I would get responses. Sorry I’m real and real doesn’t look good on women.
LisaParticipantThe biggest problem is that even some of the most liberal minded people do not acknowledge the existence of a problem because they have embraced the game wholeheartedly and that is how they survive. They are no one to admire but at least some admit to playing the game. They are usually conservative minded and proud of their game playing. Like it’s an accomplishment. No matter what beliefs one has all hate strong women…just for different reasons. I am not an actress and I will not play a role for payment.
LisaParticipantI am addressing men and women who wittingly and unwittingly help men who hate certain women. If you think that is a fairy tale look around to politics, music, film, The ones who break through of, “what can I do for you to accept me?”line are the most vilified.
LisaParticipantSuccess is the best way to deal with injustice and unfairness. I support strong women who against opposition became successful.
I’m really angry right now and I need to lean on these women because you convinced me I was/am nothing but you couldn’t and you can’t do it to them. Deal with it.
One day women all women are going to be required to be independent. Does that scare you?
LisaParticipantAnita I want to thank you again for your support and thoughts.
Lisa
LisaParticipantI want to also add that the reason those shows were popular is because that is what most women are even if it is on a smaller scale. They demand Valentine gifts when men who clearly shop once a year and clearly do not want to be in a store buying their “payment” which is classier than money I guess for what they want. Just because they don’t have all the material things those tv charactors have doesn’t mean they don’t do the very same manipulative things. Weddings would be “old fashioned” if they didn’t promise money or Princess of the day. Everything that just contains meaning is “old fashioned.”
Why should they get their spouse’s medical insurance and then vote to have it taken away from struggling single people?? “Who do they think they are?” Obviously someone told them how amazing they were and the whole world should just step aside especially women who they view as lesser.
The only voice I have had since I was a teenager was Madonna.
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This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by
Lisa.
LisaParticipantAbsolutely not. Many things have changed for the good but one thing that has not turned out well is manipulative bullies have unprecedented freedom to walk all over others with no pressure of accountability.
If you connive to cheat a fair system you are a hero today and if you fight to win through an unfair system you are hated.
I have never wanted anything more in my life than to be accepted without playing a role. The only material thing I have ever really wanted was my own home. Just my own space where I do not have to answer to anyone and especially where NO ONE can tell me I am not wanted. I have never had my own home.
I was never appreciated for my mind and it angers me that shallow stupid women receive awards for being manipulative, shallow and stupid and I struggle just to survive.
They have the NERVE to criticise people that struggle that just want a decent living for WORKING when they spend their time manipulating someone to buy them gifts give them what they want like they are the boss. They elect misogynists from both sides. They only get what they want by sleeping with someone and when he wants to move on he just recycles her anyway.
It’s all a bunch nonsense and as a thinking person as their are very few of us left especially in this country, I feel as I have no voice.
I do have and have had a voice though except it has not been mine.
LisaParticipantRight and I am taking the liberty of speaking for them but they do not outnumber women who only think well of men knowing doing so gets them something in return.
LisaParticipantYou can stand women who speak their minds and you put them in all kinds of positions where they have to fight to survive but you will never be able to say you made it on your own. No matter how much people put you on a pedestal…deep down inside you know that.
You may be able to hurt a lot of other women while you stand in your position but some women will defy you and they are the women you hate the most. You can’t destroy them and that gets on your nerves. Those women remind you that you can’t make it on your own. You need a man to prop you up.
LisaParticipantI am really angry now and I hate other women for embracing stupidity and gaining from it.
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This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.