Dear Eva,

I hope that this reply finds you well,

I hear your frustration and I share it with you too. I was born and grew up at a time when the internet was already a ”thing” in communication but I identify with this longing for something real so much, and sometimes a little more than the average around me, that I’d often caught myself before thinking that I didn’t belong to this time and age. Sometimes it is just too overwhelming. I do not know how you have grown up but seeing that you have memories from before technology was a thing in communication, it makes me feel a little wishful I had those too. Then again, that would be unfair to the real connections I’ve made where I’m but in this context of losing a friend at a time where communication is at our disposal, I must say it does feel a little bittersweet right now.

I think loss, in all its forms, is one of the hardest feelings to experience. I do not know about the depth of friendship that tied you to those friends but I do know that losing them must have felt like a part of you was fading with them leaving. I think that is the hardest thing to move on from but on the brighter side, the deeper it is, the deeper your growth and the stronger you can become from it.

For what it is an update on the development of my situation, we ended up talking and it did feel like the closure of something. I do not know yet if it is the friendship that we were closing or a chapter but I do know that I want things differently for myself moving forward in this department. If anything, the talk we had was the closure that I needed to process the change.

Thank you for your empathy as always and I wish you good luck on your journey too,

with a lot of love and gentleness, 

-Luna

Dear Eva,

Thank you for the warm welcome!

I also thank you for your empathetic response to my story! I don’t think that is naive or idealist at all, I follow up on what anita said about love being a non negotiable human need and I add to that my own overall impression of my experience with friendship that is one of a lot of growth. In other words, keeping hope and seeing the light in friendships today is inspiring when everyone seems to lose patience and clarity of what really matters: Genuine and healthy human connections. I know too well what it is like to long to have someone that sticks by your side for being who you are. So I respect a positive perspective on friendships a lot.

Of course. The latest developement is that I have not responded (yet) to her reaching out once so far. But to give more details onto this story is that by one sided friendship, I meant that I felt like our friendship was at the bottom of her priorities when I had my own things going on as well. I Just didn’t feel like she was putting enough effort into it and at point I just felt like I was alone figthing for something I couldn’t define anymore. Since not much time has gone since I had my closure, I catch myself thinking that maybe if I explain this to her there would be a chance but my gut tells me otherwise. Especially when I have given her a chance to get together and talk on her own timing but she didn’t show up. This might as well be a good example.

And I’m sorry about you losing all those good friendships. However, I’d recommend not to think of it as “loss” but perhaps of experience that is helping you grow into a better you. That is a perspective that has been helping me so far.

Thank you for the good wishes and I hope you find yourself in a better place too!

With so much love and compassion, 

-Luna

Hello Helcat!

Thank you for your empathy but I have rather more ups than downs (depends on how I see them haha but I would say that I feel quite tired often and I wish I could do more about my energy level) Overall, I feel very grateful.

Oh, that sounds soooooooooooo dreamy. I think I’d enjoy Halloween but I’m generally not a night person either. Like a themed sleepover Halloween party would be more my scene! And I do not watch horror hahaha What are you watching this Halloween?

I’m so HAPPY for you! Congratulations!!! Honestly, when I received your message two days ago I couldn’t wait to come back and congratulate you right away but I realized it would be better to reply to the message as a whole so I’m glad I’m able to do that now. That sounds like a story but I’m sure you have a more realistic perspective on it now as you said too. Anyway, my sincere wishes go to you throughout this special transition into motherhood.

Gladly! Upon reading that I thought of my favorite poem of all time; The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and it just reminds me so much of my own experiences in life and my decisions. I don’t know how much you’re into astrology (or at all) but that poem itself has so much Saggitarian energy that I relate to.

That’s such a beautiful verse! I kinda see why you like it so much. There is so much wisdom behind it and so much motivation. Hence I love spending time with nature so much.

Thank you for the good wishes! I honestly might have had some developments on that the last couple of days (the ups and downs I mentioned) and I’m in this familiar but not so familiar spot. It’s still early days for me to take any decision but my intuition brought this person back into my life now and I think it is my intuition that’s gonna decide if I should let them around more or not. If anything, I could let them go now too.

That’s so beautiful to hear and it does give me hope myself. I’m really happy for you once again.

I know, right? I’m starting to think so myself because I literally was just thinking to myself that it was my wishful self who was rather impatient for things with this person to work out. In fact, how do you tell if someone is playing games or is just being themselves? In other words, I’ve nearly convinced myself that I have a crush on this friend -whom I never 100% considered as one- and I know that I’m not going to settle for less, but I have a hard time telling if them not telling me the things that I want to hear most from them is them being real and sincere about how they feel and about me (like being considerate enough to say it when it’s right) or are they “testing me for themselves to be sure” (which is a bit of a deal breaker to me anyway lol)  or just playing games with me to get something? My intuition doesn’t tell me it’s the latter so it’s between the former two.

It’s a pleasure to hear them as always and I’m glad that you’re happy sharing them with me.

That seems fair. Honestly, that sounds like a tough one out of the two that you have shared so far because I can see there was effort on both parts. Moving in with this person couldn’t have been an easy decision for you (despite the motivation that you had) but it sounds like that was the right call for you then. I can see that you’ve been tested by life on several occasions too, and I cannot help but wonder if I have that much patience myself hahaha I mean, a single life isn’t all that bad until you start seeing everyone you know happy in their families right?

I really appreciate you saying that. And I’d love to share more of my thoughts with you. In fact, I was wondering if there is a way you’re comfortable with taking this to a “less” public level. I don’t know, it’s a big step for me too, to be honest, but hey, I’m open to hearing what you think about that.

Sending so much love and peace your way as always and once again, congratulations on the new member of the family!

-Luna

Dear Helcat,

Sorry for the quite belated reply. Life caught me up and there have been more ups and downs than usual in a week. But I’m glad to report that things seem to settle now.

Autumn is simply one of the most romantic seasons of the year. No wonder, it is the season of poetry and whimsical goodbyes! There is also something spooky about it. We don’t really have Halloween here but the movie industry doesn’t cease to remind me of that with the newest horror movies. On this note, I hope that October has been treating you well where you are, and I’d love to know what you’re excited about doing this season.

Speaking of which haha Honestly I’m excited about picking up writing poetry as a hobby this season and if I’m lucky I’ll learn a new one on the more indoors, cozy side. I’d also love to feel cozy this autumn, and maybe rekindle something beautiful that couldn’t have happened at a time and now it calls for it. And maybe because I tend to look ahead, I’m already thinking about my yearly reflection. So yeah, busy mind.

Too right. I’m a very straightforward person (although even for me it’s always easier to be THAT straightforward in my head than in real life) so mixed signals simply push me away. Like if I get the courage to be upfront about my feelings, at least I expect the other person to have the emotional intelligence to respond to that with some maturity and care. At the end of the day, everyone is responsible for their own feelings. Rejection in itself is not a mistake. It stings, but it is a right that we all have, and I think it’s another sad thing how it is so dramatized.

Of course. For me, a healthy relationship is one where I feel like there is a flow-y communication with the other person. I need to feel heard, seen and loved just the way I am. Also, an old friend asked me more or less the same question recently and I answered: ”It needs to feel real and compatible”.

I’m sorry you went through that. And I’m glad that you have taken that step for yourself. That’s self-love if anything and it takes a lot of courage.

If anything, I’m really grateful for your trust to share with me (though it’s a public forum) and I hope that you feel better after you do so. Thank you so much and I feel the same way! I’m glad to have finally landed back here haha

Sending you so much love!

Enjoy the spooky season!

-Luna

Dear anita,

Thank you for your detailed reply. I will get back to you tomorrow at the latest.

Best,

Luna