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Lily

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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 477 total)
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  • in reply to: Accountability #381404
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    next time I will probably clean on Friday after work, so I have more time on Saturday.

    Today I drew in the morning and in the afternoon I finished my collage, then started a new one. In between I took a break to read. Still it feels like I haven’t accomplished enough today… Tomorrow I would like to continue with the collage. Maybe I will also go to buy art supplies after work.

    Good that you felt comfortable without a mask at Trader’s Joe! And how nice would it be if the end of the pandemic was near!

    in reply to: Accountability #381325
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    I am glad that I could make you smile 🙂

    Today in the morning I went running and I also picked elder flowers. At home I then made syrup. In a few days it will be ready to drink.

    For the most part I spent the day cleaning first my room, then the community rooms and also did the laundry. It took way too much time. Only in the evening I drew for  bit.

    Tomorrow I will meet a friend to draw together. But I also want to reserve time to finally finish my collage!

    Until then! Hava a nice weekend!

    in reply to: Accountability #381300
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    yes, it was very nice! There is not much to see with the handstands, just feet looking out of the water and in my case it probably looked a bit wonky… But I had fun 😀

    Today at work everything was o.K., I don’t think I did too badly. In the afternoon I read, but tomorrow I want to go back to working on my collage. Also, I have to clean our flat!

    Until tomorrow!

    in reply to: Accountability #381270
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    you are right, Picasso did not stay to true to human anatomy 😀

    Yes, you did not say that I was pretentious, sometimes I just worry that I might sound like that. It is likely that my inner critic is often responsible for my procrastination.

    Today was a very nice day. I decided to go to the sea by train! It was the perfect weather for that: sunny and warm. The water was also warm and I swam and dived for a while and did some underwater handstands… It must have looked ridiculous but it was fun. Then I also read at the beach for a while and ate some fruit salad and potato salad I had prepared. And I even ate icecream. The best part was a long walk at the beach. I walked along the sandbank and collected some shells. The only thing that could have made it better was going there with someone. But my roommates already said that we might go to the sea together one day.

    Oh yes the nettles! Yes, it seems not so long ago that they were starting to grow. So far I did not spend so much time collecting herbs this year, but maybe next weekend I will collect elder flowers! I want to dedicate a little time to spend in nature every week from now on.

    Have a good day!

    in reply to: Accountability #381242
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    sorry if I sounded a bit pretentious.And I also think I did not explain so well. What I meant is that I guess you could determine certain things. For example if anatomy is wrong or perspective is wrong, but on the other hand in art you are allowed to break the rules too. But sometimes you also can see that something like anatomy for example just doesn’t work and that the artist needs to practice more.

    Myself, I am not too well-versed in anatomy and some things as well and can still improve. But it is also not the most important thing for me. I like drawings that just evoke some feeling in me, that tell a story and where I can see the passion of the artist. I don’t care too much for perfect anatomy. Maybe it is just a question of taste.

    I don’t know, the most important thing for me is to create and express myself and improve myself. I like the freedom that art can give you, there is not such a big risk of failing. Why do I still feel so much anxiety though???

    Sorry, I don’t know if this makes any sense. The best thing is to just draw and not think too much (I still often do).

    At work it was a busy day again. I have decided to take tomorrow off, because my hand and around the elbow it hurts a bit since some days and I feel worried. So I want to spend some time in nature.

    Until next time!

    in reply to: Accountability #381196
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    in the morning I went running, then to therapy. When I tlked about wanting to meet others to draw together, my therapist suggested that I could start it by myself. I am always hesistant when it comes to taking action, but maybe it would be a good thing to try… I still have to think about all the things we talked about.

    Then in the afteroon I started my collage (it is not a new project, but part o a booklet of collages). It is not finished yet, but I have made progress. You are right that there is no real perfection in a way and I always liked the freedom of it. At the same time, there are certain crierias that you use to determine if an artwork is good or bad, like composition or use of color. But actually I often like art that is not perfect and for example hyperrealistic artworks can be a bit boring for me.

    Tomorrow is another work day, but maybe afterwards I can work on my collage again. Or it would also be nice to go for a walk.

    Good night/day!

    in reply to: Accountability #381156
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    thank you for always reading my posts.

    Today it was a busy day at work, but I felt like I didn’t handle it too badly. But I am tired now. Tomorrow I will start a new collage.

    Until tomorrow!

    in reply to: Accountability #381124
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    I think I understand better this time, that you men distracting myself is a habit that I do without the intention to self-sabotage.

    Also, I think I have quite a few positive distractions: going for a walk, cooking, dancing.

    At the moment I am a bit tired, so I won’t write too much. Today I was happier with myself and also slept better. In the morning I went running and then I spent most of the day with my projects. I finished one collage. In the evening I went for another walk.

    Overall I am satisfied with myself today. Tomorrow I will go towork. When I’m back, I should do yoga to de-stress and also draw. Good night, anita!

    in reply to: Accountability #381085
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    you are right, it is a habit. I don’t know about self-sabotage. When my therapist brought that up, I did not fully understand. According to psychology today it is “Behavior is said to be selfsabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals.”. This applies to the behaviour of procrastination. But I don’t know…

    Maybe because my thoughts can become overwhelming, I then decide to distract myself. But this doesn’t make me happy and I want to change.

    Recently, I feel like I am getting a bit better though. Maybe I am just imagining it. Today I worked on my collage and I felt so happy with myself. Also, when I look at finished projects, I often feel satisfied with myself (sometimes I of course think that I can improve this or that). The worst part is often starting, then I am questioning myself and comparing myself to others. For example, when I started to study, I looked at other students work and felt inferior. Some had a very realistic style, others were more abstract. There were few with a more naive style like me. But this is me and when I stay true to myself, I feel the most happy and content with myself. I am feeling in tune with my true nature like today.

    Even though the day did not start so well. I hadn’t slept very much, feeling stressed from work (I feel overwhelmed and insecure about the social interactions there and embarrassed). But then I cleaned up and made progress with my collage.

    Tomorrow I want to work more on my collage booklet and go out into nature.

    Here it is also going to rain soon, according to wheather predictions. In the last days it was more warm and sunny though. Today I even wore a summer dress.

    Good day and night, anita!

    in reply to: Accountability #380967
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    the main source of distraction is the internet. Often I scroll or watch videos for hours, not feeling happy with myself but still it is hard to stop. What do I think or feel? Hard to say, maybe it is dread to start the task I have to do. Drawing is harder than watching a video. Sometimes I also want to do so many things, have so many ideas that I have a hard time deciding what to do then I end up doing nothing. Then I feel bad about myself for wasting time.

    Yesterday it would not even been so hard to continue on my project. The composition was already for the most part ready in my head, the colors were already chosen. So I didnot even have to think so hard, still I distracted myself. My therapist sometimes asked me: what is the source of this? Why am I not “allowing” myself to be successful? (something like that)

    Often I also work on the less important projects that we shouldn’t spend so much time on. I do spend lots of time on them, too much time! Maybe because they are easier to do, as they don’t have to be perfect, finished projects. Maybe I still want to make everything perfect. Recently I came to the conclusion that this is very ineffective.

    Maybe it is also because I am spending too much time alone and my life is not balanced. My therapist once said that if I spend more time with friends, I will also get more of my illustration work done. (her theory)

    Today I actually did work on one of my collages after work. So that was good. Let’s see if I can do some more now.

    Tomorrow I should definitely be able to finish it. But I also want to go for a walk or something.

    Until then!

    in reply to: Accountability #380929
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    spending time in nature is always refreshing. How nice that you enjoyed your walk.

    In the morning I also went outside for a walk at the river. It was nice, but a bit windy by the water. I wished to have taken a jacket with me. Anyways it was a good start of the day. And I aleady came back by 10. In the future I should always start my days like that. Waking up at 5 and going out for a walk or running.

    Then I was drawing for about two hours until I made lunch. After that I became more distracted again. Even though I started to work on my tasks, I did not accomplish much and now I feel a bit frustrated with myself and grumpy. But oh well…

    Tomorrow I will go to work and I want to find time for my studies after that at least for a bit.

    Until then!

    in reply to: Accountability #380886
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    today it was more chaotic at work. At some times I felt like I handled everything competently, at other times it didn’t go so well.

    After work I painted for 2 hours. Maybe I should also draw now or maybe read.

    Tomorrow I want to spend some time in nature, but also work on my uni stuff.

    Thank you and have a restul night too!

    in reply to: Accountability #380815
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    the website you looked at seems to have a lot of good tips! I have to look at it more closely later.

    I think I understand what you mean about routines. It’s refreshing to do something different once in a while. The routine can give safety, but too much routine can feel stale. And we also change during our lives, so to adjust the routine from time to time will be helpful!

    Hopefully, you had a nice hike! It seems like good wheather for it!

    Today I woke up very early, so I decided to go for a run. Only for 5 minutes, then I took a break, 4×5. It was 5 am and I really like it when it is so quiet and not many people are around. There was a meadow that was covered in white fog, it looked very beautiful. My feet got soaked from the morning dew. Later, when I walked back I also picked some flowers, buttercups, marguerites and pink clover. This combination of colors is very beautiful – pink, yellow and white. After this morning walk I felt very good and happy. Definitely I should do this more often!

    When I was at home, I was a little tired and read for a bit. But then I started my illustration. Then, after dinner, it was time to make the rhubarb cake. It still has to cool off, but it looks good and I tasted a warm piece and I think it is good.

    Then I drew some more, but now I am unsure how to continue with my illustration. Maybe now I will work on something else, perhaps my collage.

    Tomorrow is my work day, but hopefully after it I can draw more.

    Have a good day and night! Until tomorrow!

    in reply to: Accountability #380769
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    sometimes it’s nice to spend some time offline! I hope you had a good time out of town!

    Yes, I do think illustration is for me. Even in my childhood I was always drawing, sometimes together with my sister. Sometimes I made up stories while drawing… And I would like to tell stories, maybe one day make my own comic book. And if I will not be comercially successful, I still want to draw and express myself.

    Today went well. In the morning I went to a doctor and then I walked a bit on my way home. It was a nice day today, like real summer. And people were sitting at cafés, everybody wore summer outfits, it was a bit of normalcy.

    Later I worked on one of my projects and tomorrow I will turn the sketch into a drawing. Also, tomorrow will be the day to finally make my rhubarb cheesecake!

    in reply to: Accountability #380721
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    I hope you are well and are having a good weekend!

    Today was so-so. I drew for a bit and also talked on the phone with my friend and my father.

    Tomorrow I will wok more on my illustrations. Until then!

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 477 total)