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Lily

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 477 total)
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  • in reply to: Accountability #380689
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    thank you for your feedback! It’s just that on some of those days I did not get anything done. I would like to be more productive. But I think I have learned some important lessons. Firstly, I know better who I am and what I want. And I think I am on the right path and that I have chosen a career that does suit me. And I have beome more confident in myself, no longer having the belief that it is impossible for me to be succesful (not on all days, but I’m getting better).

    But what I want is to constantly work on my projects, so that I feel satisfied with myself. I want to take myself more seriously.

    Today went better. In the morning it started  off slowly. But I read a good book, so not too bad. Then I cooked some food and later I worked on my uni projects. In the evening, I decided to go out for a walk. Overall I think it was a pretty good and wholesome day. I am more satisfied with myself.

    Tomorrow I want to continue with the illustration I started today, but maybe also spend some time in nature.

    Hope you are having a good Saturday so far!

    in reply to: Accountability #380658
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    today I went to work and eerything was o.K. Now I will be able to work more again, which is good for financial reasons and for structure. But also a bit bad for having less time for uni. But I have not accomplished as much as I wanted anyways. Too often I still waste time! I wonder if I made any pogress when it comes to being disciplined? The person I would like to be is more active. But at least I try to do a little. I am finishing several illustrations in a months, some days I do yoga or go for walks… And I have finished some longer projects as well. This shows that I am able to work on bigger projects, even if it takes me long.

    Oh well. Tomorrow I will work on my illustrations again. But I also decided that I will go outside into nature this weekend.

    Thank you for your well wishes!

    in reply to: Accountability #380546
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    it’s true. We cannot do so much about these problems, so it’s good to let it go. The only thing we can do is vote for reasonable people and maybe try our best to live environmentally conscious (I am still not there yet myself). But otherwise, better to not worry so much about these topics!

    Yesterday I wrote down my tasks in my planner. Today was so-so. I still get distracted too much. But at least I came up with the composition for an illustration and started a new collage. And I did yoga and cooked a healthy meal.

    Now I will journal and plan for tomorrow to get more clarity.

    Thank you for wishing me a good night, I slept well. Hopefully, your nights are also good, as well as your days!

    in reply to: Accountability #380476
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    yes we will have to get accustomed again to a life without masks and restrictions! Hopefully things will become more normal again. After all, there have been pandemics in the past and humans found cures. I feel more worried about climate change and extremist world leaders in power…

    Here things recently got a bit more normal again. Shops opened for the first time again since December (except for a week or so of click and meet). Today I went to buy art supplies, but you were supposed to write your contact information down and I never know my phone number… Will have to try again!

    Otherwise I was not as productive as I would like. It works better on days when I write down specific tasks in my planner, like yesterday. Wanting to write them in the morning doesn’t work for me. So I will better write them down now.

    Hope your day went well! Until tomorrow!

    in reply to: Accountability #380428
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    sorry that it was not quite as you expected! I can understand that it was a bit odd being the only one without a mask. But it was very considerate of you to still put on your mask to make everyone feel safe! Hope you felt better then and still had an enjoyable experience!

    Today I was overall productive. In the morning I did yoga and drew in my art journal. Then I started working on a collage and have also finished it today. In the breaks I danced a bit, did my laundry and cleaned, hoovered and mopped my room.

    Tomorrow I want to start a new collage or maybe draw in my other booklet.

    Until then!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Lily.
    in reply to: Accountability #380356
    Lily
    Participant

    Dera anita,

    how did your visit at Trader Joe’s go?

    In the morning I took a walk outside today. It was finally very nice weather with sunshine and a blue sky. I sat at a bench and journaled. On my way back I got a piece of strawberry cake from the bakery and it was very delicous. It reminds me that I still have to bake the rhubarb cake this week!

    Then I drew a bit for project D, but later switched to a personal project. It was more fun and I enjoyed drawing just for my own pleasure, without having exams or professors in mind. Sometimes I had lost that, but recently I am finding my joy of drawing again.

    Still, I have to make a better plan or something, else I will never finish my studies. For tomorrow I set the goal of finishing the collage for project D I started.

    Until tomorrow!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Lily.
    in reply to: Accountability #380300
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    thanks for the compliment! I try my best!

    It is true, I am not very much into spontaneous things. For me it’s better to know a few days before meeting somone etc. Somehow I became a bit confused yesterday.

    Today went pretty well. I have finished one page of a booklet for project D and I want to draw more. Also, I tried out a new recipe: lentils and rice, called mujadara. It was good, especially with a yoghurt-cucumber dip. And for the next days I won’t have to cook.

    Tomorrow I want to work more on project D, but also go outside or do yoga because I did not exercise at all during the last days!

    Hope your weekend went well 🙂

    in reply to: Accountability #380275
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    honest and kind are two things I really aspire to be!

    Today I feel like I accomplished not so much. In the morning I started a drawing and then I cleaned our flat. Then I wanted to draw more, but my roommate said we were out of some household items and suggested we can go grocery shopping together. It kind of distracted me a bit. Waiting and such, I would have preferred to buy the things alone. Or maybe it bothers me that it was so spontaneous and I got off track with my plans. I should pause and think before saying yes next time. It would be nice to do things together, but not so spontaneously.

    Tomorrow I really have to work on project D again.

    in reply to: Accountability #380175
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    you are right. The childhood experience leaves a big imprint on people!

    At the moment I can’t focus very well and find the best words to respond. Everything I want to write sounds like platitudes… After my workday I am feeling tired. But it went well today, no big mistakes and I felt quite competent most of the time.

    But I understand what you are saying and thank you!

    in reply to: Accountability #380129
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    it makes sense what you said about stress. Actually, I felt stressed even though compared to others my life is not that stressful. Maybe work sometimes stresses me and maybe I stress myself out for not accomplishing enough. Maybe it is also because of having more options and not enough clarity about what to do next.

    After a walk today I was feeling much better. It helped me to calm down and I got new ideas. After that I spent the rest of the day drawing and I could still draw more now. Even though I am going slowly, I still think I am on the right path. I do have enough ideas and I like my drawings. And when I am really in the flow like today, I am feeling passionate and like I want to do so much more. Maybe looking at my favorite illustrators and listening to podcasts helped reignite that fire. Sometimes I had lost it.

    But today I am feeling good. Listening to music and drawing and going for a walk, it was a good day.

    Tomorrow is my work day again. But after work I want to draw more.

    Have a good day!

    in reply to: Accountability #380090
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    I wish you a good experience at the Trader Joe’s store!

    At the moment, I have a hard time sticking to my plans and goals. For some reason, it was easier during quarantine? In the future, I have to become more disciplined with myself. Why am I doing this to myself?? It feels so frustrating…

    Best to finish the day as good as I can, set specific plans for tomorrow, and try again.

    in reply to: Accountability #380036
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    good idea about copying the text! It’s just too frustrating to lose a post and then having to start over.

    O.K., I understand about not having to post a long post in return. It was just that I had written a little bit more and then it was gone. And thanks for sharing!

    Good to also know that things are getting better in the U.S. about covid. Must be nice to not have to wear a mask indoors 🙂 After my company gave me a paper to get a vaccine, I tried to book an appointment, but it is always booked out. Maybe someday I will be lucky.

    There was also some other good news about work. One of the problems from Friday is resolved. Some money was missing, but it was just a mere typo. I am also grateful to my co-worker for letting me know!

    Today I also went to therapy and also mentioned the work problems. From now on I want to try to go slower and not immediately react. Best stop for a moment before acting. When thinking about my problems, I remembered the scene from a Mr. Bean movie, where he is left alone with a valuable piece of artwork. Then he sneezes on it, tries to fix it, and makes it worse and worse. Until the face of the portrait is completely wiped out and he draws a ridiculous face on it. I felt like this is me, always trying to fix things, making it worse. Sometimes I should just accept that it didn’t work out and let it be. In the end, I could laugh a little bit at myself. But I was also thinking that I sometimes must get on my co-workers’ nerves with all my worries and insecurities. I also want to try and self-soothe and try not to ask for reassurance so much.

    Otherwise, my day was so so in productivity. I drew for a bit but also procrastinated by reading. But reading is better than getting lost on the internet at least. Tomorrow I want to focus on my collages again.

    Until then!

     

    in reply to: Accountability #380003
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    I had just typed a whole answer to your reply, but then my internet connection was gone and all is gone now :/ At the moment I am feeling too tired, so tomorrow I will write more.

    Just quickly, it is amazing how much progress you made and I hope to also make more soon. Sorry that your meeting didn’t go so well. You are right that you don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for merely expressing your opinion. That woman clearly overreacted. I hope you are having a more pleasant day today!

    My day was quite productive and I started and finished a whole collage and did yoga: Tomorrow I will also work on my collage booklet again and maybe go for a walk. Goodnight!

    in reply to: Accountability #379930
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    today I am feeling much better. In the morning I made some sketches, but I also spent time reading today. Tomorrow I want to go back to my old schedule with waking up early and working for uni at the set times.

    As for the thoughts, I sometimes start to feel that my life is so empty, I feel useless and worthless and ashamed of myself. Then I start to fear that I will never improve and I start imagining how I hurt myself. It is a feeling of shame, feeling ashamed of who I am. It feels like everything is over and I have ruined everything. I start to think about everything I did wrong and such things… But not today. I have calmed myself, even though I am still embarrassed about Friday.

    Maybe it was just because of PMS or because I had spent too much time inside. Thank you for asking.

    I hope your weekend went well! Take care!

    in reply to: Accountability #379916
    Lily
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    you are right, it takes some time to make changes. And the progress is not always linear. I am trying and I have already made some progress.

    For a few days, my thoughts had become very dark and I was not very productive. At least today I cleaned up and watched a video about art that made me feel inspired again. Now I am feeling like I am getting in a better mindset again. So I am positive that tomorrow I will work on my projects.

    Thanks for your help and goodnight!

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 477 total)