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Maria_LParticipantHello vidalevi,
we can all say and pretend ‘look doesn’t matter’ but many of us have been in your skin many times. I have always been struggling with my weight and also my complexion, and better looking girlfriends are just… everywhere, everywhere…lol 😀 They certainly don’t make stuff easier 🙂
Maybe it’s just a matter of perception though, but in many occasions I find myself analyzing couples… And maybe I am wrong, but I get the feeling that ‘the average looking’ ones, are happier and last longer than ‘the model looking’ ones. Maybe it’s because there is something stronger holding them together but the physical attraction (which in time fades away).
And what if you try different approach? My sister is passionate gamer for example (she is 28, not a teenager…lol), and she met her last two boyfriends in the ‘gaming’ community.. I can assure you she had much better luck than few of my other girlfriends who go out with ‘the pack’ and try to meet guys the classic way (clubs etc). There are many options today where you don’t have to be among other girls, and your true personality can shine through. I met my current partner online, we contacted via skype for a while, and we were friends for few months first. And yes, he was normal, average looking guy who doesn’t stick out from the crowd, but he won me by earning my respect first… And we are together for 8 years. If you have hobbies and interests, you are passionate about something, maybe you can use that common interest to join a group, forum.. etc…And meet new people like that 🙂 Us, girls, have to get creative sometimes 🙂
And one more thing… one of my (male) cousins once told me:
‘You girls are lucky… You are short-you put on high heels. You have bad complexion- make up does wonders… You have little extra ‘weight’- there is shape-wear, tailored clothes.. And the hair can work magic for you!! (I know… long blond, curly hair was my ‘forte’.. lol ). Us guys… we don’t have much options 🙂 ‘
He was right 🙂 I am sending you my best wishes and positive energy, and never ever feel bad about how you look.
P.S. I used to struggle with weight so much, tried every pill, diet, work out, just to look better. Now I battle anxiety, I work out 2 hours every day almost, and haven’t even remembered to check how much kilos I have lost for 3-4 months. I don’t care now, really. Just wanna be healthy and happy. Looks really doesn’t matter and it’s not a pass to love and happiness.
Maria_LParticipantHi molora,
We all have been in your shoes, more or less, I am almost always like that when I try to meet good people and make good impression. Minhat and anita were right on place when talking about the (super) ego and how much trouble it can cause… I would like to point out two more things.
1) Different emotions can be energetically connected to potential conditions and diseases. The bad ones lower our energy and we attract more negativism in different forms. Self-criticism, shame and guilt are unfortunately on the bottom of that ‘vibration chart’. It takes time for us to change, but trust me you have to find constructional ways to deflect this pattern of thinking toward more positive direction. You will notice if you continue with this, ‘blockages’ in different aspects in your life will appear… And for me it took years to realize that it was my way of thinking, my necessity to be perfect , and fear not to embarrass myself that crippled my life in so many ways.
I am sure you are lovely person and whatever you’ve ever said to anybody was respectful and with good intentions. Do not wire your brain with constant self-criticism, guilt and shame. Perfect does not exist. And not everyone can like you even if you do your best. This is the reality, and you have to accept it. And if your brain is bit ‘hyperactive’ like mine and in constant need to go somewhere, than ‘feed it’ with something else, distract yourself. It’s funny, but at one time when I was prone to falling in self-distraction ways of thinking, I actually did Sudoku and crosswords whenever that started 🙂 You’d be surprised how you can’t focus on two demanding things at the same time 🙂
2 ) And if you wanna seek a logic that will support the fact that you ‘cant be that bad’… 🙂 Let’s look the things from the other angle 🙂 Do you remember everything that has been said to you by every person (I am talking about the ‘small talk’ in social conversations). You can probably remember something till 3-4 weeks ago, and then it just fades away. Your mind can’t possibly keep track of every conversation from your past, unless it was really life changing or traumatic. So why bother so much about what you’ve said to someone ? Do you really think that that person will have a sleepless night because of your words? Other people will forget anyway, trust me. You have forgotten many! Mega-scandals on TV just go away, bad moments fade through time. Don’t sweat the small stuff 🙂 Enjoy life, love yourself, use that mental energy on something wonderful 🙂 Practice!! Do you wanna be puppet which moods and behavior will be dictated by other’s people opinions, or do you wanna be… free? 🙂
Maria_LParticipantThank you anita, and may I add you are doing wonderful job here…
I am aware about the need of very gradual tapering, I am doing that definitely. My first reduction was 33% (wanted to see if I can handle it, cause everyone responds differently from what my doctor said), but next one would be much smaller (no more than 20% from what I read). I only take them for two months,also under doctor’s supervision, and very small amounts (3mg per day now). I feel much better, and things are different now for me, I have (another) doctor and psychologist just around the corner, unlike 3 months ago, where I could barely reach professional help. Gives me enough comfort just knowing that 🙂 I would like to start a thread in some time when I finish all this, and maybe help more people who are dealing with (also this kind of) addiction.
I find it helpful for now when I focus and talk about things that make me happy, I think there is nothing more therapeutic and helpful than doing something you love with joy. LidseyLou, if you read this too, don’t forget to bring some form of joy in your life, through following a passion, interest, sport, some form of art, maybe forgeten talent that waits to be re-awaked…. I have read many amazing testimonials about people that found their salvation from various problems like this…
Maria_LParticipantHello,
Just wanna send you my best wishes and congratulate on your determination to end this cycle…I know you will make it. I have never used drugs, but I know a thing or two about physical type of addiction, and it’s not easy to have one. And I would never dare to judge anyone who has it. Often our strong will, logic and determination will fail to overshadow our body screaming that we lack of ‘something’, and it’s much harder to fight the body than the ‘psychological’ addictions like ‘shopping and gambling. I don’t think there is easy path toward total detoxification and coming to the point that our body is ‘filtered’ from the ingredient that we got used to. So whatever you do, prepare yourself mentally that there will be some suffering involved and that you can only help yourself to relief the symptoms to some point. Focus on your goal through those days… Never read stories or forums in the hard days about people who ‘cant do this’, how they suffer.. Read about successful cases, convince yourself- if they could do it, I can to… See the light at the end of the tunnel before you reach there
I got very severe case of anxiety and panic disorder few months ago, conditions I knew nothing about at the time. And because I lived in isolated area where going to counselor on daily basis was not an option, the fast solution was prescribing me bromazepam, which did miracles at the time, I got better in 24 hours!! Felt wonderful, I was happy again!! Just like that, over a night!! But it is in the most addictive group of medication. It gave me the clarity, though, to learn and deal with the disease better for 2 months (so I understand why sometimes it is needed). I haven’t abused the prescribed dose, and now I am cutting them slowly as doctor advised, but withdraw symptoms are worse that the initial anxiety… The first reduction, I couldn’t sleep 5 days in a row, felt like screaming in middle of supermarket, and got supper depressive the next second… But at least I knew about this, it’s the drug, not the disease causing it, and was kind of ready. I secretly wished I didn’t start such treatment though, I don’t know what to think now, did I really do my best?… I am fine for now, my body is used to the new very smaller doses… but I have 2-3 more steps of ‘reduction’ to go through.
I agree with dotcom1, I know cigarette and pill addiction is probably nothing compared to heroin. But what we try to say is that it’s a long road to real recovery, we have walked through or still walking, different stuff work for different people, and sometimes you have to try different approaches, even combined, till you find the right one. Patience and mental preparation is the key..And not loosing your focus. It won’t be easy for some time. But ‘magical’ drugs that work in minutes take their big toll with them. They turn you to their slave, and you build your resistance, take more… (In my case Big Pharma wins…lol 🙂 ) Sometimes in order to get really better for good, you have to get worse first 🙁
I learnt so much though this, to be honest! I can write a book I think 🙂 Just read about supplement called Inositol (it’s kind of a vitamine, no side effects), which is is extremely helpful in dealing with in lots of stuff like anxiety and depression. I’ve even read that heroin addicts use it too sometimes when they wanna cut, in blend with other things. I take high dose of magnesium and b-complex, and omega 3. In my case also, vigorous physical exercise helps too (releases endorphin!!) .. I hate sports, but I’d rather run for an hour than have 5 panic attacks in one afternoon :). And in any case, human support is essential also (sponsor, a group, psychologist).
As I said, it’s a physical addiction, chemistry that tricks your brain is involved. And you have to trick your body and brain too, supply it with ‘serotonin’, ‘adrenaline’, ‘endorphine’ and whatever it lacks through other ‘channels’. It’s not the same, I repeat, but try anything that helps, preferably with a plan that reduces the addictive ‘chemistry’ to the point where you are free of it… I am sure there are ways that will work for you, and you’ll be one of the many successful stories. Don’t be discouraged cause you fail sometimes and have setbacks, most of the people dealing with addiction do.
I focus how I wanna be my old self again, not depending on some pill to be happy. I love life, I trust life…As you, I have a lot of reasons to live for and be grateful for. Just think of all the happy moments you will share with your lovely daughter! I hope in some time we will get back here and write ‘we did it’! 🙂
May 24, 2016 at 2:03 am in reply to: An attempt to a relationship with an 'indecisive' woman #105468Maria_LParticipantHello,
Sorry to read about your unfortunate experience with this girl, and with anxiety and depression always lingering in the background, I know life can’t be always fair. Of course, I am sure there is more to the story, and I don’t know about the details of’her leading you on’ part, but I have seen in many times. Good guys don’t always get every girl unfortunately, and also, you never know with girls! I know many examples with my (girl) friends… I perfect guy would come in to her life, but she is obsessed with someone who is awful, and doesn’t give them a chance. Many of us miss opportunities to be happy by pursuing someone who is just not fitted for us. She might be one of those people, and.. you also might be one of those people. I’ve been that person many times 🙂 So, nothing weird here 🙂
And yes, some girls just like the attention, and cure inside insecurities, boredom or whatever.. by still giving small hope to someone who acknowledges their presence on the planet Earth.. Still, I can’t judge, not being there in person, maybe this is not the case. But IF it is.. run! save yourself 🙂 🙂 As fast and soon as you can. One of my best friends does this all her life!!! She kind of ‘rejects’ the guys… but somehow they still call every week.. for years!!!. And they are all sensitive, kind guys, who don’t always approach girls easily. I was so mad the her doing this. And she doesn’t wanna face even her ‘real’ boyfriends when she wants to break up, never had a ‘clean’ break up in her life.. She just slowly disappears, ignores phone calls, etc, cause she is not secure enough to face the drama. This has been also done to me in one or two occasions, and yes, it’s more painful than a straight answer, especially when you are sensitive and being prone to anxiety and depression.
Relationships can give us sense of security and completeness in this world,can add colours in our day, all the stuff our anxiety and depression ‘reap us off’ often. I don’t think it’s the right thing though, for people like us to look salvation in relationship, cause they don’t always work out.. 🙂 But they can be wonderful thing when shared with the right person. Just hang in there,and move forward… You deserve it, another chance to find someone who could be good for you. But it takes patience and time sometimes 🙂
Maria_LParticipanthello Joe,
Bit different from the crowd…. but still an artist 🙂 I am 3D designer, passionate especially about 3D illustration. Still trying to ‘break in’ the professional waters full time, though 🙂 Made a life mission of it, when I think (Guided by the concept- choose a job you love, and you don’t have to work a day in your life) 🙂 Most fun thing I did, illustration a sci-fi novel of a friend, not published yet. But sometimes I like to go back to reality, and also do products/ interior/ exterior visualizations… I love every second I have spend in this field, and always try to learn something new (I also have to, cause I don’t have official ‘artistic’ schooling).
Sometimes it’s difficult to handle clients to be honest though… It’s common issue among computer artists, especially when they don’t know what they want (and you have to figure out at your own expense), or… when they think they know what’s pretty and you have to put your name behind a ‘shameful’ concept 🙂 But maybe that should be another topic, ‘what should you expect when your hobby becomes a full time job’ 🙂
Greetings to all the fellow artists, I also used to paint till I was 18 and the computer totally took over 🙂 I miss that, now when I remember it.. 🙂
Maria_LParticipantI am so glad that you feel bit better… 🙂 And hold on to this energy, return to this moment when you feel down 🙂 I am glad you are not under the same roof, also, be happy that you can call your house a home. You have your sanctuary… 🙂
Making a scene and cutting the cord was also not an option for me at the time. Given the fact that we are 2000 kilometers away now, we kept civil, respectful relationship. I am not sure what they talk about me in the privacy of their homes, but I genuinely don’t care.I forgave them long time ago. And when you contact someone once a month, mostly via skype, you don’t often get the chance to get to the drama. Just till you give basic updates about your life, the time passes 🙂
I have an amazing partner, a whole future to plan with him, so this is my focus now. And last time my grandfather started to insult my way of life, and i wanted to burst out… I just asked myself- how many times will you see him again this year… 3 or 4 … per one hour? And he is old, any talk could be our last.. 🙁 Four hours a year are just not worth the drama…
I am sure you are wonderful person who in spite of everything thinks about the health of others.. I admire you for that! I am sure there are many ways you can be helpful, and not harmful to your mother’s health, without exposing yourself to them. Slowly slip away under the radar (say you are busy, have a headache every once n a while for a start, ask how she is via text or call) 🙂 Worked for my sis perfectly… There might be some reactions in the beginning, but stay on your path, stick to your plan.. There will be bad days again I am sure, but they will become more rare..
I am sending you my best wishes and energy… And yes, isn’t it amazing that sometimes perfect strangers can be more considerate and helpful than your own family?
Maria_LParticipantHello,
I’ve been on this forum for a while and I usually answer when I read about issues I have dealt with for years, I’ve explored about them profoundly, asked for professional help, and found my way to overcome them. I can say if there is anything I can talk about with confidence, it’s abusive member(s) of the family. I am talking about the mental abuse, the one that no one can see but you most of the times.
I’ve had that for more than two decades, and I can’t even count all those hours of depression. I have tried to build my confidence, become spiritual, detach myself from their behavior, get stronger. Oh, how I tried. I know that is easy to say ‘don’t give them power’. That just doesn’t work. They get to you… almost every time. And it’s not your fault. And everyone thinks they are great people, and that it’s ‘normal’ for family members not to get along, so no one helps, no one thinks it’s serious.
It’s not your fault, and it’s also not your fault that you can’t rise above it all. Ultimately, the perfect thing to do is to work on a strategy to become as independent and detached from them as much as possible. You don’t have to argue or never talk to them again, just gain a safe distance and independence. It will be enough, trust me. It’s as simple as that. You are not ‘damaged’ for lifetime, or need 10 psychiatrists to fix you, you just need ‘clear air’, and to find and do something that makes you happy. You’ll forget about them really fast.
But I also know that sometimes this takes time and effort, and you need to help yourself immediately. Yes, find a safe place. A room in your house, a friend’s place when you can ‘crash in’ when things get really bad. You need a break sometimes. It helps to get some air sometimes.
Find someone you can talk to, a good friend, a counselor maybe. The one thing I regret is not talking to a psychologist at the time, I’d use their insights as shortcut, I had to figure stuff on my own most of the time. If you are really angry, it’s 2 am, and you are alone, feeling you’ll burst out, write about it. Write it on paper, the paper can take it 🙂 Just do not keep that anger inside and repress it, it will burst out with some health issue.
And I will not give any advice in order how to position yourself with them, cause I know in my experience it didn’t matter if I responded with a smile, or clearly let them know that they act like animals and hurt me. It didn’t make a difference.
Be strong, think of all the wonderful things that wait for you behind those walls… Start working on your plan. You’ll get out of there and forget about all this in a week…
Maria_LParticipantHello,
First, it’s great thing to know what makes you happy, what makes you sad in life. There are people who can’t locate the reason for their depression and that is much harder…
From what you wrote seems like you are not happy there, and I can relate to such feelings. I have a lot of expats for friends, I am expat myself and I know for sure that not every place is for every person. My first attempt of relocation was also a total failure, I was so miserable, I know how you feel. I moved, so did some of my expat friends few times. There nothing wrong with that .Moving is definitely not easy, but sometimes the boundaries and limitations are just in our minds, and we do have a choice.
I know that London offers many job opportunities, but it’s not the only place in the world where you can make money. I also know that it is very expensive city to live in. I have a friend who had a decently paid engineering job there for a year and could barely meet ends, so I wonder.. how long ago was it since your mother’s dream? Rents are higher, the city is flooded with work force from all over the world.. Maybe at the end of the month you’ll barely have anything left to send home? I agree with Eris, maybe you should explore other places in UK… Another friend of mine who was in London for 8 years, now is perfectly happy in the North and would never go back..
Please dry your tears and smile …and never compromise with depression. You are young, the life and the world is waiting to see you shine!
I am sure your family wants you happy and healthy before they want your money. If they don’t understand this, don’t worry… Moms always want the best for their children, but they are just human beings and not always understand what’s best. Very often they fail to understand…
I am sending the best of luck, and if you scroll these pages, you’ll see you are not alone…
Maria_LParticipantHello,
I don’t have problems with allergies, but horrible immune system, and not just that, I always felt like I have very little energy… I am not nutritionist or a doctor, just sharing my experience. Something that I found really helpful was taking spirulina. I felt more energetic and managed to avoid some of the seasonal viruses. I still take it every day, and know many people who swear by it. Also when i’d get sick in order to avoid antibiotics I used turmeric, ginger, garlic, and sage tea on daily basis (I usually had problems with my respiratory system). I often use this ingredients when I cook, too. Vitamine C is also a must. But, you have to consider outside factors too (I lived in a very polluted city, so there was only so much i could do to help myself).
Of course, everyone is a different story, so maybe you should make more detailed analysis. And there is no supplement that be substitute for a well balanced diet and outdoor activity, preferably in nature.
Hope you’d get better.
Maria_LParticipantHello,
It’s been years since I first saw ‘the Secret’, and at that time I was fascinated by it..But it’s normal I guess when someone gives you ‘quick and easy fix’ for all your problems. I also ‘believe’ in crystals, feng shui And though I believe such thing exists, I know that it doesn’t just work that way.
1) You can’t fool your mind, it knows!! Wishful thinking and attempt to trick your mind is not the fix. You can’t trick your mind… really! You can cut all the wonderful houses and frame them on your wall, tell yourself in the mirror thousand times a day positive things.. but then the bills come, chance for vacation you can’t afford. You know the truth deep down. And it brings you bad mood. And it brings you guilt knowing bad mood brings more bad energy. And guilt is the worst feeling of all.
2) Will the things you wish for make you happy? You know, I wanted my apartment, I wanted to travel, to work as an artist years ago. Well, it happened…lol 🙂 Even for a while I lived in a house in nature just like the houses I had printed and hanged on the wall in my room. And now I am trashing the book, ha? lol :)But I know for a fact that life is such a journey that it’s not always meant to be pleasant. And sometime the best changes come through those hard days, and it wasn’t our living arrangement that made us unhappy. It was our fears and limitations in the mind. When I got these things I wished for(not so long ago), I had to fight the most terrible case of panic disorder and anxiety, and I still deal with it (getting better luckily). I barely notice the beauty around me now I wanted so much. I just wanna get well, and focus all my energy around it. But I have learnt so much from this situation. Walls and places and buildings are just walls and places and buildings. For me, true happiness is good health and positive people in your surrounding, peace (I’ve lived through war), and often we take these things for granted. And every win over our fears and limitations gives us new layer of confidence, that we can make it, we can handle life, we can get better, we’ll manage through hardship. That’s when we don’t fool our mind, our mind knows we’ll make it, cause we’ve done that before.
3) What I believe in these last years is that every person, every emotion has it’s own vibration (energy, frequency). I think that our goal is to raise from those ‘low’ energies to the higher ones.. It’s not yet an exact science, but yes, they can be measured, and they have been. I believe the law of attraction works through this vibrational way, we resonate to the frequency we emit through our emotions. And there are many ways to ‘raise’ your vibration that include spiritual practice, choosing the right food even, the right way of thinking. Maybe you won’t get Ferrari, but you’ll find peace. And these ways have been known for centuries (isn’t it amazing that temples in different religions use sounds-like chimes and bells or prayers, and burn herbs inside for some reason? ). It’s another topic though, not for here maybe 🙂
But exploiting the vibrational nature of Law of attraction, commercializing it in a way that it will bring you house and car, and these things will make you happy.. It’s questionable. But yes, the Secret is a good stepping stone to realize that there is something more out there..
I also think it’s a good starting point to practice positive thinking through gratitude. Just acknowledge all the wonderful things and people you have in your life, talk about things that bring out the best in you. Help people. Whenever you feel like complaining, shift to one of these things.. It takes time and practice, I am on that road too, but I know it can’t hurt you 🙂
Maria_LParticipantI know you are strong, and I know you are a fighter, you reached out here after all. Seven months is also not ‘too long’ to get over traumatic experience. And yes, we are just people with good intentions here, that can wish you all the best, send you our best thoughts and intentions.. and our energy will reach out to you I am sure. But as anita said, if you are feeling really distressed, please reach out for help once more, as you did here, to a professional who can really help much better and faster. I have a friend you ended 8 year long relationship, lost her apartment and job, left the country penniless, and worst thing-she is introvert …but decides to talk to a good psychologist. And she is doing great now!
You are unique human being and you deserve all the love and respect in this world, and I am sure you are loved and respected by many people. Don’t let your hurt ego and and one undeserving man blur your vision, make you forget this for a while… There will be good days ahead, you know it deep in your heart. This is just a dark cloud that will pass..
Take care of yourself, let us know how things are going, and don’t hesitate again to give yourself the best chance to get through this with professional help. A lot of the people here have overcame such big obstacles, and became twice wiser and stronger after that.
Maria_LParticipantHello,
Stay strong, you are not alone… And everyone makes mistakes at some point in the life, one way or another, wrong choices. I don’t know many facts about this man, but having an affair with you, than being cocky how happy he is with his wife tells enough for him. What an awful person! And even if he is ‘happy’… Just give this ‘happiness’ some time. He will take his ‘break’ from his lovely wife again, trust me. This kind of people barely change and I can only feel sorry for his spouse. One thing I know about marriages and relationships is: you never know what happens behind the closed doors. He can say anything at work, it doesn’t mean it’s all true. He does not deserve your tears and suffering.
But it’s normal and understandable why you feel the way you feel, everyone in your shoes would feel great anger, toward him, toward yourself… It’s your ego maybe that is mostly hurt right now, and egos can give us lots of troubles during our lifetime. If it feels better, yell at him, talk about how awful he is with you best friend over a drink. One day very soon you’ll be done with your bad feelings, but he’ll be stuck with his behavior that could cost him divorce, for a lifetime.
Just give this some time, few weeks.. you’ll see this is nothing worth ‘dying’ for, I promise!May 15, 2016 at 5:20 am in reply to: Need suggestions on dealing with grasping and loneliness #104561Maria_LParticipantSorry to hear that you found out she is moving on with someone else. I know it doesn’t feel fair. It’s not just the heart that suffers, it’s also your ego, than that feeling of injustice…I remember my own thoughts at the time when I saw him with someone else just a month after the break up. ‘I am falling apart, trying to get through the day with a feeling that I have a knife stuck in my stomach, trying to regain my trust in love, life, happiness.. and he just moved on’. It’s just not fair.
You’ll get one day to the point when you’ll look at this from some distance and understand how it ‘served’ your life and made you stronger. But it takes time to gain that perspective. Now it just one day at a time. No quick fix unfortunately. Some days you’ll feel better, some days worse. But week after week you’ll learn to deal with the pain and to heal. We are made to survive and fight all kind of problems on this planet, and adapt. The biology and evolution will work their magic if nothing else. I am sure this is not the first bad thing that happened to you.
Some day you’ll meet someone new, someone better and you’ll thank God about all those failed relationships, that lead you to true love.I just remembered a wonderful, life changing book that I read at that time, that helped a lot. I have it on my shelf always since then. ‘The way of love’ by Anthony De Mello.
‘People who want a cure, provided they can have it without pain, are like those who favour progress, provided they can have it without change.” ‘
Maria_LParticipantHello,
You are not alone 🙂 I am kind of in same position, maybe I had it even worse. Moved from a country where people are outgoing, friendly and maybe too social, lots of friends… to a wonderful country which is better in so many ways… but with more reserved nation, and I have no one here. I miss my old ones, even my ‘fake’ friends. I also developed anxiety and I fight it on daily basis, and it doesn’t go well with the silence and loneliness.
Not the best person to help maybe… lol 🙂 But I read a lot about this issue, and the best views are from those who moved 5-10 years ago. They all struggled at the beginning as i understood, but looking long term, they all wrote it’s the best thing they’ve done for themselves. For now I have skype to talk to my family and old friends… I will start zumba lessons next week and hope to have fun there at least once a week. During weekends sometimes I travel bit longer to visit friends in cities in this part of Europe. I even joined meetup groups, sometimes people have good experience with this too. Haven’t attended meeting yet though, but I am open and grateful that with internet today options are much better than 15 years ago… People often advice me to join groups, sports, clubs with people that share my interest. I will try something definitely..
Consider yourself lucky cause from my impressions Americans are really chatty and friendly, western Europe where I am people are more reserved and I guess I have to make a real effort here. I cruised the channels when I visited Amsterdam, with 3 Americans in the boat, and did more talking in that one day than whole together in 3 months here:) As I said, you are not alone, and not the only one struggling, there are many of us out there searching for our new circle of friends and starting from zero 🙂
Good luck, I hope things will work out for us for the better 🙂
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 