PS: Can always chat with me, I’m happy to make new friends. 😉

Well sometimes people just don’t feel like talking but yeah I agree with all of this. Creative careers can also be very competitive and stressful so jealousy is kind of understandable, but even then it shouldn’t stop you from being a decent human being, shouldn’t control you. Maybe they’ll understand that later on.

Well apparently you don’t like anyone for “2-3 dates” so how can you say you don’t like them until they call you “sweetheart”? =P

Sounds like a fantasy and a bit self centered to be honest.

Life and people have ups and downs and multiple sides. I think the real question is are you friends? Do you like his personality (when it’s not about you) ? It seems like you’re too dependent on somebody else making you feel good about yourself rather than figuring out whether you’re actually just happy being with a person because of who they are rather than the circumstances or wanting more and more and more.

Sounds like you’re having fun. =]

I don’t think it’s necessarily patience and time (although that plays into it) as much as being okay with taking chances. Like I said before some things just happen in 5 minutes, some things in 5 years. Neither is necessarily better or worse in my opinion.

Also consider giving people a go that you might not have even realised are there, or just wouldn’t normally. Like that one quiet person in the background everyone ignores, you might find out they’re actually very interesting, just not as socially dominating as others or if you keep hanging around business types why not go talk to some artists, or vice versa.

You might also find certain groups of people have similar ideas to friendship as you, that makes it easier to click with them. For example business people might be good socially but cold to the notion of actually being friends with anyone whereas creative types like forming stronger bonds. Just stereotyping here but you know what I mean. 😉

I think there are three kinds of “friends”.

1) The friends that aren’t really friend per se, more like close acquaintances, this is where I think most people are these days, they need constant taking care of, making time for etc… the kind of people that will forget you if you don’t talk to them for long enough. Unfortunately I think today this is what is considered a “friend” in general. They’ll also be fine with manipulating you because they don’t really feel like they have any special connection, just someone you go out drinking with is every Sunday is NOT friendship.

2) Real friends that are always happy to go out and do something with you because they actually like you as a person, not because of the amount of time spent together, it’s based more on how open you are with each other. Friends that you have an intimacy with because they know they can talk to you about anything and you can talk to them about anything, it’s a friendship with mutual trust and openness. If you’re afraid of opening up, or the other person isn’t particularly open or doesn’t feel like they particularly connect with you then it’s just not going to happen. On the other hand you can make these kinds of friends in 10 minutes or 10 months (some people simply take longer) but the point is some people you just “click” with. If you both hear the click in the first 5 minutes of a conversation then you’re already friends, sometimes you just know.

and finally 3) True friendship that’s closer to brother/sister feelings or love, they’re the people who you have gone through a lot with together, you’ve adventured together into the unknown and came out of it together. This is that person you meet on an uninhabited island and survived through trust and teamwork, or you’ve just had to walk home for 6 hours and both your legs are sore and they’re the only other person to talk to. Point is these are the people you’ve shared experiences and struggles with. It doesn’t matter if you talk to them every day or you don’t see them for 30 years, next time you see them you’ll still be the best kinds of friends. This is also I suppose the hardest bond to form because you have to actually go have an adventure of some kind.

So how to make an amazing friend? Find someone you click with and then go on an adventure together. =]

I don’t think you’ll find anything if you don’t actually take control and go out and look. Even if you think of it as just a numbers game, if you want to find that one in a thousand you might have to go through 999 first.

It probably gets a lot easier as you develop a good eye for people though.

Also I’d like to believe that attractiveness is about more than just what’s happening in your life, if all you want is someone with money who travels a lot then you might not be looking for the right things.

I mean I wouldn’t want a girl that only decides to be with me after I reach some kind of “level”, sorry but it seems overly shallow. Would you really want to be with somebody that says “I like you but you’re just not well traveled enough / got enough money / wrong eye colour, let me know when you change those things and then we can be together for sure!” Yeaaaah… no thanks. =]

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

― Aristotle

I think people generally turn to ridicule when nothing else seems to carry their point of view across, it’s one thing to accept a difference in thinking but it’s another entirely to have the strength to think deeply about their point of view without shutting yourself off from it entirely. When people feel that you are not taking their ideas seriously they stop trying to talk things out and just make fun of your ideas instead; it’s a kind of revenge.

If you actually say “sure, I’ve considered the things you have said to me, I even agree with some of them, but for now I’d prefer to do things my way” then there isn’t anything more which can be ridiculed, you’ve shown that you have taken on their point of view, it’s just not something you agree with at present moment. It shows the people that want to debate your ideas that they aren’t being ignored, nobody likes to be ignored.

Also in the same way that you don’t like your faith to be attacked, other people don’t like to be preached to; in essence nobody likes their way of life to come under attack because a lot of us have insecurities about who we are and it’s particularly painful to have those poked at.

I also think the stronger your or belief or faith in something, the less you should feel the need to tell other people about it. The biggest conflicts arise when both sides are insecure and can’t stop arguing because of that.

So the only way to stop that is to deal with your own insecurities first, that way there will be nothing for anyone to poke at and by accepting their points of view fully they won’t see you as on some kind of high horse that they feel the need to pull you down from.

I’ve learnt the hard way that one of the biggest things people dislike is somebody that comes off as arrogant, and it’s more difficult to control the more heavy your opinion on something is, which is why the stronger your belief the more you have to remind yourself to take a bite of humble pie every now and then.

Hey it’s okay, you’re only 22, you’re not supposed to know everything. I just turned 25 and I still don’t know exactly what my goals are either, it’s normal to try all sorts of things before you find something you really want.

Do you have somebody that you can just talk to without holding back? Like a really good friend? It seems that you are very stressed out, what do you do to relax?

I think it’s important to remember that feeling bad is normal and happens from time to time, to everyone, but it doesn’t stay that way. Talking about everything you have on your mind, or writing it down, meditating on it etc… are all very good ways of just working through all the things you’re worrying about emotionally and letting them go.

Don’t listen to the principle. Quitting won’t solve anything, but working through it will. But if you need some time off then definitely do that, maybe a few days and use them to really unwind.