I feel so depressed all of a sudden. Like I can’t get out of bed and this isn’t even my bed! So damn sad right now. How is this my life

I haven’t even spoke to them. I don’t even know what to say. I am upset with them but couldn’t even possibly discuss this at this point. I am also terrified of them. I feel like this is what my family wanted. Me depressed and anxious so I come running back. It is so unfair. I was finally managing life Anita and now I feel I am losing my mind! I’m so damn scared right now!! I wish I had something to bring this down! I am so scared. I am deep breathing. Have a hot water bottle for my kidneys and positive self talk. This is all body right now. Nothing I can do!

Hi Anita,

im not sure what to do. I’m pretty sure it is my ego that will not let me contact them. But I’ve been spending 70 a night on hotels such a waste of my hard earned money! I was tempted to sleep in my car last night. I have an apartment won’t be ready until the 1st.

i don’t know where I am getting the strength to hang in there.

i also don’t want to spend 700 for living in hotels for next two weeks

my money is dwindling and I feel like that’s just another stress making me feel crazy.

life is so rough right now Anita. I wish I had anyone to go to! I’ve been so alone in this journey.

i don’t deserve this!

Anita,

i was impressed as well that I had not gone to anyone but now I am just losing my mind!!

i haven’t found an apartment. Staying in hotels and Airbnb’s.

i am honestly losing my mind

the physical symptoms are worse these days. Severe headaches. Pulsing throughout my body. My back is so tense it hurts!

This has to be the most stressed I have ever been.

I don’t think I can even handle this anymore

i reached out to an old guy friend in a weak moment. He basically offered me to live with him and start a life over in Puerto Rico. It sounds nice but this is just the little girl in me that wants to be saved. The reason I’m telling you this is not because I am going to do it but because I am seriously getting to this point where I am losing me! My negative thoughts and beliefs are rushing in like never before. What do I do?

I feel so badly like going to someone in my family. It is so sad what happened between my aunt and I. She was always there for and I know it wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t live together. But now there is no turning back. But she was the safest place I could think of. When I turned to her after my mom died she made me feel so comfortable. I would go to her house every night. I just need comfort and safety but I don’t feel that anywhere and can’t think of a place I would. My ex crossed my mind as well. I know these are bad but I am losing it. I feel so discombobulated. How could my life be this bad right now? My money is dwindling and my dreams as well.

Help me ?

I totally get that but that hurts me so bad! I guess I just want some connection to my family. And I’ve started making a few contacts here in the Chicago area. Also, if I went to Florida I would want it to be somewhere at least a little familiar. I guess thinking of life completely independent feels less love and happiness. I feel that way now. Like where is the love. I feel like my innocence was stolen and my zest for life being a deserving and joyous one was token away from me. Does it come back?

Hi Anita, so today is the 1st and I had to make a decision either to stay or go with my current situation. So here I am car full of belongings and food that will melt and oddly feeling ok about this situation just because I know I wasn’t too comfortable in that situation. I have such a hard time make decisions, especially lately and that’s annoying because this is my life on the line. I’m not really sure what move to make at this point. And I wish I knew how to figure that out. I know my body wanted out of the situation I was in. And was thinking Florida but am also just in a place where I want my own stuff and my own place. I looked at a place I semi like yesterday but so afraid to make that jump as well. Ugh ?

I understand and it was not just affirmations helping me. It was boundaries and healing and acting instead of just thinking. It felt so good. I felt like I deserved life and love and happiness. Today I can barely move. I have such negative thoughts. I keep fighting them, telling myself these are not true. I think it’s helpful but exhausting. I just want my confidence and love back!! I don’t deserve this! I know this has to ultimately do with healing but this was brought in by gaslighting and projection!! Please tell me you believe it. Enough people try to make me feel crazy and I know I am not Anita! I was emotionally abused by family recently. Because I was doing well and they wanted to bring me down. I doubt this at times that I get nostalgic but I now this is true!! I can never explain the pure emotional sucking my family did, whether intentional or not I was projected these feelings of shame and guilt and lowness. And now the physical symptoms have worsened!