Yes you are Anita! You are right!

I could have listened to you months ago when you said to detach from family. Maybe I wouldn’t be a hot mess right now. But I accept and forgive my choices with love or at least I am trying!

I honestly feel like singing a lease in Chicago was wrong though. Not sure if it is ptsd or anxiety but I think Florida would have been a better bet from the beginning. I have entered the blender too much. I need time away from the blender of family. I need peace. Plus winter will come and be sad again. I wonder if I could reconsider my lease and just make the drive to Florida and sign one there?? What are your thoughts.

i truly don’t want to make another impulsive decision but also don’t want to continue with family. Even talking to my grandma again yesterday was a hassle!

I’m not staying here. Getting out tonight. It is almost like a cell. Fits a twin bed and table that is all. You have to climb on bed. I don’t know how I ended up here. Wouldn’t it make more sense to go to family? Why do I sabotage myself into these things? My memory comes and goes. Maybe you can help me understand how my life got here and how I can get some relief! My head and body feel they would be better off to explode!

I understand and feel that. But I’m trying so hard to calm the anxiety down. It has completely taken over. I feel it in my body. I feel it in my head. My thoughts beliefs ands values are changing as we speak. It is so scary. Will I ever feel like me again?

Scared to take meds again. With no one to look after me.

and I keep thinking of going back to family not for love just for some damn help! How can I do this all alone with all of the trauma I have been through?

Mom about to explode!!

I feel so depressed all of a sudden. Like I can’t get out of bed and this isn’t even my bed! So damn sad right now. How is this my life

I haven’t even spoke to them. I don’t even know what to say. I am upset with them but couldn’t even possibly discuss this at this point. I am also terrified of them. I feel like this is what my family wanted. Me depressed and anxious so I come running back. It is so unfair. I was finally managing life Anita and now I feel I am losing my mind! I’m so damn scared right now!! I wish I had something to bring this down! I am so scared. I am deep breathing. Have a hot water bottle for my kidneys and positive self talk. This is all body right now. Nothing I can do!

Hi Anita,

im not sure what to do. I’m pretty sure it is my ego that will not let me contact them. But I’ve been spending 70 a night on hotels such a waste of my hard earned money! I was tempted to sleep in my car last night. I have an apartment won’t be ready until the 1st.

i don’t know where I am getting the strength to hang in there.

i also don’t want to spend 700 for living in hotels for next two weeks

my money is dwindling and I feel like that’s just another stress making me feel crazy.

life is so rough right now Anita. I wish I had anyone to go to! I’ve been so alone in this journey.

i don’t deserve this!

Anita,

i was impressed as well that I had not gone to anyone but now I am just losing my mind!!

i haven’t found an apartment. Staying in hotels and Airbnb’s.

i am honestly losing my mind

the physical symptoms are worse these days. Severe headaches. Pulsing throughout my body. My back is so tense it hurts!

This has to be the most stressed I have ever been.

I don’t think I can even handle this anymore

i reached out to an old guy friend in a weak moment. He basically offered me to live with him and start a life over in Puerto Rico. It sounds nice but this is just the little girl in me that wants to be saved. The reason I’m telling you this is not because I am going to do it but because I am seriously getting to this point where I am losing me! My negative thoughts and beliefs are rushing in like never before. What do I do?

I feel so badly like going to someone in my family. It is so sad what happened between my aunt and I. She was always there for and I know it wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t live together. But now there is no turning back. But she was the safest place I could think of. When I turned to her after my mom died she made me feel so comfortable. I would go to her house every night. I just need comfort and safety but I don’t feel that anywhere and can’t think of a place I would. My ex crossed my mind as well. I know these are bad but I am losing it. I feel so discombobulated. How could my life be this bad right now? My money is dwindling and my dreams as well.

Help me ?