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Abraham RodríguezParticipant
First of all thank you everybody for answering my question.
Yes mmsmith and anita, I think I haven’t thought about being confident that I will survive those negative emotions, definitely will try to overcome then and not scare myself.
In response to Nina Sakura… Well the coping process was… Sometimes I resorted to journaling, or poem writing, or more effectively reading and focusing on my passion on music. As the type of my depression, I really know barely about it. My psychiatrist has like a boundary and just focuses on getting me right instead of scaring me about what my illness is. It is depression as a fact, because I’m taking medication for it and also its hereditary, it runs on my Moms side. The thing that scares me the most about this type of feelings is that in the past I struggled to make them go, I only sank deeper and could barely get out. I started drinking a lot and fortunately thanks to the counseling and my Parents’ support it didn’t get worse.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by Abraham Rodríguez.
Abraham RodríguezParticipantHello Annie!
Well, this, in my opinion, is a very delicate situation where you have to look the deepest inside you and be true to yourself (this is key to being able to sort this out).
I think that this person in your life maybe is having trust issues regarding his past relationships (not meaning that he hasn’t moved on, in my opinion they are two different things) and therefore, causing this strange attitudes toward you. In example, the night before you went away, when he didn’t want to see you, maybe he was afraid of falling for you and then losing someone he loves again and getting hurt. This doesn’t precisely means that he doesn’t care for you, maybe he’s thinking better things about this new relationship. I would suggest trying to empathise with him and understanding where he’s coming from. Try talking this issue directly and clarifying things in a way full of love and understanding. If you’re thinking of having a serious relationship with him, better establish solid foundations based on communication rather than guessing his feelings and his vision of the relationship.Be very careful with those “I fell for him” feelings. Sometimes we mask our need to be with someone just so we can fill our needs with sensations of false love, especially if you already had sex, because this creates a physical need, also masking the true love. This is where i would suggest that you be true to yourself in the sense of really being sure you want him because you truly love every aspect of him and want to share your life and not trying to satisfy one of your needs.
I hope this helps, really, I know how effd up this things get and I comprehend how you may be feeling. I’m sending you the biggest hug of all times and all of my strength!
Abraham RodríguezParticipantWell, It’s a tough situation where I’ve never have been (breakups yes, but sons involved don’t). First of all, I think no problem is a petty problem. We have all the right to value even our own problems and the right to reach for help without undervaluing ourselves.
I haven’t had any sons and probably I’m much much younger than you but I think you should let your feelings toward your ex come out: Let yourself feel angry, scream, cry, punch a pillow, FEEL THEM, don’t trap them because at one time they’ll explode in worse forms.
I think also that maybe having a little patience and peace would help you see things better: help your son with what you have and in ways you can, live day by day without worrying too much for the lack of job and things like that, change your mindset around the thought of “nothing of this will be forever”, slowly things will start to look brighter.
I hope this helps you in someway, brother c: I’m sending you and your little son a big, big hug and a huge smile!
Abraham RodríguezParticipantI’m thinking it’s not physical because I did take antihistaminics (I thought it was allergic rhinitis), multivitaminics, homeopathic medicine and stuff but anyway I’m taking your advice and visiting yet another doctor n.n
Maybe I am in a depressed phase. I have been having some problems, loses and big changes in my life, maybe that’s what’s getting me all effd up.
Thanks for your advice! a big hug!
Abraham RodríguezParticipantHey! nice to hear of someone who also uses music to get trough tough times n.n
I think I can relate to the fact that sometimes I need to stop listening to some songs because they bring back bad memories and therefore make me depressed and anxious to the point of breaking down :cI can’t certainly say that a ballad would make me feel better (I’m more of a punk, easycore person, because these genres have uplifting melodies, are fast paced which makes me feel adrenalin to break trough my problems and very powerful and motivating lyrics) but I will definitely listen a bit of them to try something new 😉
P.S: I find it strange that you’re not allowed to break down :c it is so harmful not to be able to do so. If you accept my suggestion, sometimes I just put a big pillow in my mouth and scream as loud as I can, or do energy consuming activities like drumming, cleaning or something of the sorts. It actually worries me for your health
Anyway I send you a big hug!
🙂Abraham RodríguezParticipantHey Julia. I can’t exactly say I understand the situation because I’ve barely worked and maybe I’m much younger than you, but I think I have been in contact with people with similar attitudes. What has worked for me when dealing with those passive criticism that seems full of hatred and makes us feel so bad, even worthless and clueless sometimes, is to pay really close attention to what he/she’s trying to say. I’ve discovered that between those passive comments or remarks made unto you, it’s clear what people want to convey, but our desire for things being told directly on our faces blinds us into believing we can’t see exactly what is going on. Maybe trying to separate our personal fears and emotions towards that one person from the actual content of his/her words will help you clarify what is needed of you.
Also empathy always helps a bit when trying to understand the attitudes from that person.
I hope I’m being clear enough :$
Anyways, I’m sending you a big, big warm hug and a big ear-to-ear smile! You have the strength to go on right within yourself n.n I admire you because I’ve never wanted to get a job just because small, personal fears, and the single fact that you have one is really worthy!
🙂
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