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Thank you Anita.
I’m booked to see a therapist in a couple of months time. Is there anything I can do in the mean time? I read lots of self help related things. I understand much of the logic behind the way I am, but I don’t think I’ve worked through it emotionally.
I’m not able to work at the moment because of my anxiety, and I wouldn’t get past the interview any way,
but being stuck at home is very uncomfortable because my mum’s an alcoholic and I feel anxious around everyone. I’m looking into volunteering so I can get away from home. I keep feeling like there’s a rush and pressure to do things, but I suppose there isn’t any.
I’m trying to practise mindfulness each day, but have been forgetting lately. This post is a good example of that, I’m thinking ahead instead of taking it day by day?
Sorry for all the ‘I’s in my post. I feel so selfish whenever I post here, but I don’t know what else to do with myself. This website feels like a step forward.
Thanks everyone for your comments on this.
I feel a little lost, and often apathetic. Have been trying to be kinder to myself and be loving to myself, and I’m starting to recognise my own needs more and put those first. Putting myself down constantly comes naturally and I don’t always recognise it happening. I feel like I’m being selfish if I am nice to myself.
Things seem very hopeless in the long run.
I hoped to update this thread, but I’m not entirely sure of what to say, only that I want do want to say things, and want to change. I don’t know what direction to go in. I don’t know.
Thank you, Anita. Your post has made me cry, you’re so kind. I’ll try my best. I’d like to keep this post updated with my thoughts, I hope that’s okay. Please feel free to share anything you’d like to say, I’m very grateful for your insights.
It’s nice to be finally understanding things, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. 🙂
Thank you for sharing, Anita, and Gary. You’ve both been incredibly helpful. I understand better why it takes so long to learn new ways of thinking, and that it is indeed possible to do so. I’ve been saying aloud some positive reinforcements too. Saying or hearing anything positive about myself feels so wrong, I hope I can believe them eventually.
I used drugs previously and they contributed to how I am today. I deeply regret it, and would prefer not to go near anything cannibis related again, but thank you for sharing. It’s a very interesting article, regardless.
I have been in exposure therapy for my anxiety for 3 years, and I’ve been on a waiting list to see a psychologist to discuss deeper causes and CBT. I’ll be meeting her for the first time tomorrow. I’m terrified!
I’m trying to practise Mindfulness more. I’m finding it difficult to stop overthinking. For a long time I thought my trying to plan ahead and think about all possible scenarios (aka worrying) was helping me be more prepared, but I understand it’s part of the problem. If I’m not doing that, then I’ll be worrying about family, or daydreaming. I feel so ashamed. I see they’re all ways to avoid me facing my own issues. I need to be present and start living my life but I’m so terrified, so the cycle repeats. I just need to get on with doing things.
I don’t really know why I’m typing this. I just want to start talking. I’ve told myself I shouldn’t talk for so long, now I’ve started it’s like I have lots of things to say, but I don’t know how to say any of it.
I feel overwhelmed by the kind replies, thank you all very much. 🙂
Thank you Miniature Bodhisattva for your encouragement and support.
Thank you Gary, for your advice. I need to print it out, and stick it on my wall to read every day. I’ve been doing exactly the opposite of everything you’ve said.. I don’t trust myself, I take everything too seriously. I’ve rejected any support or nuturing, which I think is contributing to my empty feelings. But I find it so difficult to listen when people are kind; I don’t believe they mean it. I have no faith in myself, and with my anxiety overthink everything excessively.
I’m trying to remember to live in the moment, to have faith I’ll be able to handle things, and say yes to opportunities. It’s so scary. I really hope things will start to change.
Thank you, Anita, for sharing some of your story with me. I am very glad to hear you’re doing better than you were, and are healing. I had a similar moment myself a few months ago where I first started to consider there’s nothing fundementally wrong with me — that it was actually just a feeling. I said out aloud “there’s nothing wrong with me”, and sobbed afterwards. Thinking about it still makes me want to cry, it feels unreal. I seem to be trying to sabotage myself, telling myself there is something wrong with me, even though deep down I think I understand there isn’t. I don’t know how to move past sabotaging myself, it feels like the right thing to do.
It’s just this emptiness regarding myself.. I don’t know how to fill it, or what to do to feel worthy. Please could you share more of your own healing, if it isn’t too much to ask?
It makes me happy to see you’ve posted and shared, hkrg. I am sorry to hear the difficulties you’ve faced. I’m afraid I can’t offer any words of wisdom, as this is all very new to me too, and I don’t for the life of me know where to begin! But please keep talking with us on these forums. I hope you find helpful answers. ♥