and Anita im going to print off what you said and carry it with me i know im not the only one that is thankful you are here and reach out to those of us searching for some wisdom, clarity and kindness.

Thank you anita…i always find your thoughts comforting. i know what you said about success is but i relate it more to my kids. i hate/regret i wasnt the rock they needed..that at times they had to use thier money to help out that they have had to see me like this. also stability for them. they are so good one out of college one just started. no drinking or drugs which may be the good that came out of thier dad drinking and my issues. they are so kind generous and accepting of others. i try to at least give myself some credit for that…my son has even said to me well you raised us. i also am trying to remind myself i cant go back and i have to let things go and believe things will be better..i either believe it or i dont. want 2nd half of life to be better than the first. faith has been a hard thing for me. again thank you so much for reaching out to me and for your words. im sorry your evening has been difficult. i appreciate so much how u reach out to inspire and share with so many others and you make a difference with what you say.
i look forward to hearing from you when you have the opportunity
pam

i am so afraid im not going to make it. in fact i have never been so terrified in my life.

Hi Lenny……can’t say i have a lot of wisdom can only speak to my experience. i had a similar experience last year. I’ve suffered from depression for years and the last 3 or 4 years self-medicated with pain pills. i was dumped after 5 years and he didn’t have the decency to at least say he had used me. i found out he got married on Facebook when a week before i thought “we” were in a relationship…turns out i was the only one in the relationship. I’ve been faithful on my meds for a nearly a year and have struggled with the pills. it caused me to lose everything my home, car, u name it. also all the drugs do is exacerbate the situation if u struggle with depression. not to mention my best friend died from an accidental overdose. she was someone who loved life but the drugs took control. I’m staying w/a friend now for nearly a year no money my heartbroken, anger just lots of bad stuff and it certainly hasn’t helped my relationship with my kids. so all i can do is work on myself which has been very hard. in bed in dark room for days at a time sitting on sofa watching t.v. I’ve started getting up same time everyday..looking for work and I really believe i am healing. no more pills, reading positive things and just praying for healing and the ability to make better decisions about the people in my life. can’t say my heart has healed but every nite i ask he be blessed and happy in his relationship and I still after a year remind myself I’m the lucky one. its so very hard but like the wisdom shared shared with you above it gets better it really does. may not seem like it now…but you deserve so much better i know for me i had to realize my ex was just cruel otherwise how do you treat someone that way? and i remind myself i have enough problems i don’t need anyone to treat me and throw me out like trash. and you don’t need that either. please continue to come to this site..its helped me so much….and know that there are people you’ve never met sending good thoughts your way. you will be in my thoughts. you will get thru this and you will never accept anyone or anything thats not worthy of you. you are worthy you are loved and you deserve only the best….hang in there (not only do i talk to much..guess i write too much, sorry)!

thank you for responding…today i drove with no radio on trying to just appreciate the beautiful day…i will go back again and read your story for inspiration…thank you for sharing please know that sometimes little things can make a big change for someone especially me, i am grateful for your simple kindness and good thoughts.

so sorry innnaaa for your pain. inky is very wise, every time i read a response from her to someone it resonates with me. I had a similar experience recently…after 5 years, we weren’t married, i see a picture online of him with his wife. he had been married 2 wks when i found out. i was with him without a clue..none..where did she come from, how long….endless questions endless pain. its been exactly 1 year now. for me it was a grieving process one i thought would never end. it has. i do still wonder why or how this happened. but it doesn’t matter it did and the bottom line for me is i came out of this much better than i thought. the pain the desperation will slowly go away even if you don’t feel it right now. you must remember and know you are so much better than he deserves. please hang in there…I’m not saying time heals all but time will soothe you and comfort you. every night when i ask blessings over the people in my life i include him. i do wish him the best and want him happy. truth is i believe he must live in pain and insecurity that i can’t understand or he wouldn’t treat anyone the way he treated me. this site has helped me immensely i check it every day. each moment each day will be a little better but there will also be times it will be like a wave and knock you down again. the good news is as time goes by the wave will become smaller and you will be able to withstand it. its a wonderful world and love and happiness will surround you in a way you never dreamed possible.

peace..
pjoy