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  • in reply to: Feel Good stories #90497
    humour
    Participant

    Yes. Another one below

    The Snowsuit
    -By Kay
    “Can you tell me if anyone in our store does community service?” Bill asked. A person spoke up and said, “I know that Rose does. She helps the homeless at her church.” Bill, my husband, had recently been transferred to this store as the Store Manager. Bill liked to recognize employees who worked in community service. He met with Rose and found out about the outreach program operating out of her inner-city church. Bill told Rose that he thought that I would enjoy helping her.

    When Bill came home that night after the two-hour commute, he told me about his conversation with Rose. I was excited at the idea of helping in such a program. I started to spread the word that Bill had an employee who was helping the homeless out of her church. I asked if anyone wanted to help by donating usable items. The response was amazing.

    We lived in a small community where homelessness was unheard of. We had our share of poor people, but to the best of my knowledge, no one was living on the street.

    Word spread like wildfire. Churches were calling, offering clothing and food. Once a week I stopped by a church in a nearby town. Each week I loaded the back end of our van with the things the people in their congregation dropped off. An older couple from our congregation gave us a check and told us to use the money to buy Bibles and inspirational materials to take to the mission. On several occasions I came home and found bags of clothing sitting in front of our garage. Every day when Bill drove to work, his car was loaded with help for the homeless, given by total strangers.

    I took this opportunity to clean out the closets in our home, too. Bill had an overcoat he seldom wore. I put the overcoat in, along with clothes our children had outgrown and several articles of clothing of my own. Every so often Rose would stop in Bill’s office and tell him stories about the mission. One day she talked about an overcoat that her minister had taken from the clothes we had donated. As Rose described the overcoat, Bill knew it was his. He was happy that he had been able to provide this young minister with at warm coat.

    One cold day I walked by our downstairs closet. I noticed a snowmobile suit that had been our oldest son, Todd’s. The thought to put this snowsuit in for the mission immediately came to my mind. I dismissed the thought as I had been saving this snowsuit for Brandon, our youngest son. Todd had died in a car accident a few years before and for some reason, I had saved this snowmobile suit for Brandon. This was one of the very few things I had saved of Todd’s.

    I couldn’t believe that the LORD would want me to give up this “special” snowsuit I had been saving all these years. The thought came again, “Put the snowmobile suit in.” I walked over and took it off the hanger. I looked at the tag inside. It was a man’s size small. When Todd died, he was six feet tall. How long had I been keeping this? Brandon wasn’t quite three years old when Todd died. Even now he wasn’t big enough for this suit. I decided it was time to part with this “special” snowmobile suit I’d been saving. I took it off the hanger and laid it lovingly on top of a bag of other clothes for the mission.

    Bill’s old store was closing. Almost everything in the store was gone. Now they were getting rid of the racks. We knew the mission could use the racks to hang the clothes on. We rented a Ryder truck and loaded several racks in. We stopped by another church to pick up clothes before we headed two hours north to the mission. Since we’d rented this truck, I decided to ride along. Usually Bill took everything to his store. Then Rose’s husband would come in and pick the things up. Since we had the truck, we were going to drive to the mission and drop the items off. Rose’s husband met us at the store and jumped in the truck to give us directions to the church where the mission was located.

    It was a cold day in Cleveland. The wind was blowing and the snow was beginning to fall as we drove in the area where the mission was. As I looked around I could see that this neighborhood was certainly not like the ones I knew. As we pulled up in front of the church I noticed that all of the windows had bars on them. The front door had a huge chain going through the handles.

    We stopped the truck in front of the church and opened the door. As we were getting out of the truck, a small black man with a big toothless smile came out to greet us. He ran over to the truck and offered to help. I looked at this man and I looked at Bill. I couldn’t believe my eyes. This little man had Todd’s snowmobile suit on! Tears filled my eyes.

    The next day Rose walked in Bill’s office and asked, “Did you see the man in the snowsuit at the mission?” When Bill said he had, Rose said, “You know Bill, there’s a story behind that snowsuit.” Rose went on to tell Bill how this little homeless man was always around to help. Rose said that the day this snowsuit came in he had picked up the bag and the snowsuit fell at his feet. He picked it up and asked if he could try it on. Rose told Bill that she thought it was “rather foolish” that a grown man would want a one-piece snowsuit like this, but she told him to go ahead and try it on. When he tried it on, it fit perfectly! He told Rose that all his life he had wanted a snowsuit like this, and now he finally had one.

    When Bill came home and told me this story, the LORD spoke to my heart and said, “Kay, you were wondering why you were saving that snowmobile suit all these years; now you know!” All these years I’d thought I was saving this special snowmobile suit for our son, Brandon. Now I knew that I was actually saving it for a special child of GOD who had always wanted one.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by humour.
    in reply to: Feel Good stories #90480
    humour
    Participant

    I copied it from another site. should this be ok Jack? I was looking for a stories forum but didn’t find one.Feels good to share and read inspiring stories

    in reply to: The Problem #90471
    humour
    Participant

    Beautiful post, Jack and loved these lines “Anxious today, and relaxing into today as well.”, Anita.

    in reply to: The rebirth of sunlight #90130
    humour
    Participant

    I too love this part of the year, Inky. I was not aware that people celebrate the solistice as the birth of Sun. Its so interesting to know that the sun stands still and his strength gradually builds up. I’ve read somewhere that Jesus was Pisces, hence would always wonder about his birth being celebrated on Dec 25th. Anyway this season is just beautiful. Happy holidays!

    in reply to: Self-Love: From People Pleaser to Self-Pleaser #88965
    humour
    Participant

    oops sorry, I did not know that it was not allowed

    in reply to: Should I delete should? #88902
    humour
    Participant

    Really liked reading these lines Jack. Thank you for sharing your thoughts

    in reply to: Self-Love: From People Pleaser to Self-Pleaser #88900
    humour
    Participant

    Beautiful story of transformation and healing. Thank you for sharing, Avdeep

    in reply to: Being Cyber Bullied on Art Site #88520
    humour
    Participant

    Kelly is it possible to get off that site and look for alternatives either online or real people groups. Below I have pasted something that Elizabeth Gilbert has written, not sure though but its a nice read. Hope it helps you.

    Question of the Day: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH CRITICISM?
    Dear Ones –
    The other night at a book event in Kansas, a woman asked me how I deal with criticism about my work and about myself — particularly online criticism. It’s a question that comes up a lot, so I thought I would take on the subject today, with the hopes that my words might help some of you — no matter who you are, or what you are doing with your life.
    The simplest answer for me, when people ask me how i deal with criticism is to say, “I don’t.”
    I don’t look at it, and I don’t look for it.
    I avoid criticism about myself not because I DON’T care what people say about me, but because I DO care. I am sensitive and easily bruised. I know that critical words can hurt me, and I am not in the business of hurting myself on purpose.
    There are major reviews that have been written about my work in serious, important newspapers that I have never even read. For instance: I know that I got a really bad review of COMMITTED in the New York Times several years ago by the legendary critic Janet Maslin, but I have absolutely no idea what she said about me, and I have no intention of ever finding out. (If you want to Google the review, go right ahead — but I sure won’t!) People told me that the review was bad (some of my kind friends warned me, and some of my not-so-kind friends just sent me the link — thanks, pals!) In all cases, I said, “Thanks for the info — see ya later!” and I turned my head the other way, the same way I turn my head when I pass a car accident on the road, or when the TV news is showing footage of a grisly murder.
    I will not put those words in my head. I will not put those images in my head. To do so is an act of violence against myself, and I do not commit acts of violence against myself anymore.
    I think it was the novelist John Updike who said that reading your own reviews is like eating a sandwich that might have some broken glass in it. I have nothing to gain by eating shards of broken glass. It doesn’t benefit me or anyone else to digest something that will cause internal bleeding.
    If the review is nice and kind, on the other hand (and pre-screened by a loving family member) then I will read it. Because guess what? It’s really nice to hear people say nice things about your work! And it’s rare! So when it happens: Treat yourself! Enjoy the nice review! Which is to say: when that same Janet Maslin revewied THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS in the New York Times and loved it, I treated myself to her review, because there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to a nice sandwich with no broken glass in it. Because we all need to eat sometimes.
    There are people who might say, “But how can you keep yourself honest as an artist, if you only listen to the good stuff, and don’t pay attention to your negative critics?”
    I say in return: “It is MY own job to stay honest as an artist; it is not the job of the critic to keep me honest.”
    The critic doesn’t work for me; the critic works for the newspaper. The critic has her own responsibility to keep herself honest, but she is not required to help me out, or to be a midwife to my career, or to have my best interests at heart. That is not the nature of our relationship. I do not resent that critics exist; this is a natural part of the creative landscape. But I do not listen to criticism from people who do not have my best interests at heart, because it does not serve me or make me a better person.
    I DO listen to negative criticism about my work, however — but only from certain people, and only at a certain time.
    The people who I listen to about my work are people who have earned the right to offer me criticism. There aren’t many of them, but they are precious. They are a few of my closest and most trusted friends, family members, and colleagues. Here is the test, to see if people are allowed to criticize me:
    1) Do I trust your opinion and your taste?
    2) Do I trust that you will understand what I am trying to create, and therefore can help me to improve it?
    3) Do I trust that you have my best interests at heart — that there is no dark ulterior motive, and no hidden agenda in your criticism?
    4) Do I trust that you can offer your criticism with a fundamental spirit of gentleness, so that I can actually hear it without being mortally wounded?
    Gentleness is very important.
    Because let’s talk about “brutally honest”. You know that friend of yours who proudly advertises herself as “brutally honest”? Yeah, well I know her, too. We all have a friend like that in our lives. Listen to me, dear ones: NEVER let her see your work; never ask her opinion; never show her your vulnerability. When somebody tells you that she is brutally honest, what she is actually telling you is ,”I am brutal.” What she is communicating to you is this: “You can trust that I am waiting for a chance to brutalize you. Now please give me an opportunity to hurt you.”
    I don’t volunteer to be brutalized. Again, I don’t hate myself that much. Brutal honesty is no virtue. Honesty without kindness is not worth the price you pay for it. I can listen to honesty, but only when it comes from a whole-hearted person, who is not trying to draw blood.
    As for WHEN I listen to criticism? I only listen when there is still a chance to fix or change the work. After the book is published, THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN DO ABOUT IT — so why would I go digging for criticism after the book is already printed, and it’s too late?
    The age of the Internet has made it easier than ever for us to find out horrible things about ourselves. Anything we put online or into the world is subject to attack, derision, insult. But this doesn’t make the Internet an evil place. (Look how kind we are to each other on this Facebook page, for instance!) The Internet is also a glorious playground, where you can put yourself out there in ways humans have never been able to enjoy before. So enjoy that playground, and put your work forward. But don’t read the COMMENTS, you guys. Just don’t.
    And don’t Google your name, unless you are looking for further self-injury.
    (While we’re on the subject of avoiding self-injury, let me just throw this out there: Don’t Google your ex’s name, either. STEP AWAY FROM THE BURNING VEHICLE.)
    Sometimes, of course, you can’t avoid seeing nasty things. Stuff pops up on Twitter and Facebook that is mean and harsh. Block it, mute it, move on. Don’t feed the trolls. Don’t engage. And never let the trolls stop you from using the miracle that is Internet. You have a right to speak, and a right to put your work forward, and a right to find your audience. Just keep putting yourself out there, and then — whenever possible — turn your head away from the reaction that may result.
    Most of all, I beg you not to do this:
    DO NOT put something out there into the world, and then go searching for an evil reaction to yourself or to your work.
    DO NOT sit wide awake at 1am (usually with a pint of ice cream in your hand) and start digging until you find a horrible response.
    DO NOT sit there all alone in a darkened room with the blue light of the computer shining on your face, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling through all the nice things people have to say about you (and ignoring every single kind and generous and supportive comment) until — VOILA! — you finally find what you were looking for. Don’t go excavating until you finally find that one wickedly cruel comment that proves what you have always suspected in the darkest nightmare corner of your mind — that yes, you are a fraud, you have no talent, you are fat and ugly and worthless and pathetic.
    DO NOT go digging, as I have seen my friends do so many times. Because if you dig long enough, you will find it. You will find the pain you were looking for.
    Scrolling through the COMMENTS about yourself is like reading your roommate’s diary: It’s so tempting, because it’s sitting right there! But if you read long enough, eventually you will find something about yourself that will break your heart. Don’t do it. Put it down. Resist the temptation. Show the self-discipline that is necessary for self-care. Walk away.
    I’ve watched creative friends of mine do such harm to themselves and their work, by digging through all the nutritional output about themselves until they finally find the one shard of glass in the sandwich, and then they take that shard of glass and cut themselves deeply with it. Sometimes those wounds last forever. And then they wonder why it’s so hard to be creative again.
    Meanwhile, the asshole who wrote that nasty comment about you hit “send” on his evil message, then turned his attention back to watching porn and drinking beer and scratching his butt, and he never thought of you again…but you have put his words into your mind forever. And when you sit down to create the NEXT time, those words will still be echoing in your skull. (“You are talentless, you are worthless, you are garbage.”)
    I refuse to do it. I refuse to hate myself that much. It’s hard enough to be creative, but I refuse to fill my creative space (my skull) with cruel and taunting words that will just make it all the worse.
    Refusing to read nasty things about myself is not denial; it is AFFIRMATION. This is how I affirm my own life and my own creativity. This is how I protect myself, because I am the only one who can protect myself. This is how I keep the inside of my mind clean and fresh and ready to play again.
    I said it the other day, and I will say it again: God gave me a soul to take care of, that soul is my own. I am the only one who can keep that soul safe. I am the only one who can protect my creativity so that my imagination can run and play freely in the world.
    I want you all to put yourselves out there in the world — especially all you women! We need your voices, we need your creativity, we need your courage, we need your output. But do understand this: If you put yourself out there in the world, everyone has a right to respond to you however they want to — that’s the contract. They can attack you, they can insult you, they can undermine you.
    BUT YOU ARE NOT OBLIGED TO LISTEN TO THEM.
    Turn your head from the violence. Find people to trust, and listen ONLY to them. Once you put your work out there, your work is finished. Let it go and walk away. Keep doing your work, keep putting yourself forward, and then turn your head from the darkness.
    Take care of yourself. Create freely. Share bravely. But never go digging for broken glass.
    ONWARD,
    LG

    in reply to: Resolutions #88267
    humour
    Participant

    Great advice Anita

    in reply to: HIV-positive, dealing with meth addiction, infections. #88266
    humour
    Participant

    Boykismet, sending you lots of love and may you connect to that higher power and find healing in your body. Take care.

    in reply to: Finest Moments #87754
    humour
    Participant

    Enjoyed reading this post:)

    in reply to: Awakening or going crazy? #87528
    humour
    Participant

    I agree withe other response here. Sometimes there could be deficiencies so better to check it with a doc. Also, if a person is too emotional, sometimes they cant even figure the reason for their crying. Same thing happens with anxiety and panic attacks I’ve heard that sometimes there is a reason like social anxiety while at other times it happens due to something that might have been repressed and is finally ready to exit. They tell us to observe it without judging but its tough I guess. Another thing is about extremities, high and low. Recently I listened to a video and the lady said, in these times of turmoil and change, its a good thing if a person is able to stay positive but if its not possible its good to stay neutral because if one gets too depressed it becomes exhausting to bring yourself back to the neutral state, let alone the positive state. Mutual feelings and struggles. Nice to know that you are able to stay positive and bake cookies for other people. Lucky them 🙂 Good luck to you

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by humour.
    in reply to: I need your insights on this one #87521
    humour
    Participant

    Will look up Peter Walker. Thanks for all the help Anita. Take care 🙂

    in reply to: I need your insights on this one #87484
    humour
    Participant

    Yes Anita I kind of deciphered it both without and with the scientific reason. I’ll give it time and think about it. Thanks a lot! I thought may be I can use some help in understanding these scientific reasons, the neural pathways and so on which you describe; wrt to certain emotions. Do you correspond through email, Anita? Its perfectly fine if you don’t. Just asking:) Is there some material that you can recommend reading over the internet wrt understanding deep seated stuff?

    in reply to: I need your insights on this one #87473
    humour
    Participant

    Sometimes I wish I was not so honest to myself, Dernell. lol. I understand what you are saying. Thank you again for your kind words. haha Glenda.

    Anita, earlier when you commented in this thread I thought about it in a different way but when I read the post you mentioned, I think I understood your perspective, even then I’ll re-read it and sleep over it. I would’ve never figured your perspective if you had not written it out explicitely. I am guessing it must’ve been too deep(feelings) to even write out what you did and hence I am guessing there are unspoken words there which I can understand only if I put myself in your shoes. I congratulate you for everything.. Thank you Anita..Take care.

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