Though I am very late in this thread I’m facing same situation now after 7years of relationship. I was always felt abandoned and compared by my parents and they never loved me like my aunts loved their daughters. They always wanted to have a son and they got. Always they loved him more than me, they always made me my brother’s maid. That’s why I was always in hunt for true love, who will love me so much.

I had my first relationship at the age of 17. After 3 years I forced to break up because we couldn’t live happily and my over possessiveness made him irritated.

This break up was not that painful. But I again started to hunt for my love of my life. Then to divert myself I opened Facebook and after 1-2 month I got a friend request from a guy who is my present boyfriend and my love. I took admission in his school in 11-12th. Though we share same classroom but we had different subjects. I was a arts student and he was science student. His friend told me that he likes me but I didn’t pay attention to it as I was already in a relationship and I was always so loyal to partner that I hardly talk to other guys. Before the final board exam of 12th class he suddenly gave me yellow rose to me. But I was so shocked that I rejected him by telling him yo give the flower to another girl. Because I was nervous and I was blanked.

After that he somehow managed to get my number and message me 2 or 3 times. I was so scared that I told my cousin brother to scold him. After calling him  my cousin brother told me one thing – ” if you’re not in a relationship I will tell you to go with him, he is genuinely good guy!”

When this incident happened we were in 1st of graduation. He already did a good result and admitted to a medical school.

After the accepting the request after sometime he used to message me and i replied him. Then after sometimes I have a feeling that he is falling for me and still i was not interested in him. After felt like that I stopped talking to him because I didn’t want to break his heart again.

Then after 5 months again I contacted him as a selfish gil for a reason (I still feel guilty for that). Then again we started to talk. I was just graduated from college and he was in his 3rd year of medical college. My parents didn’t wanted me to study further though i scored good marks, they manipulated me to do a arrange marriage. Those time I habe noone but him who consoled me, he was always by my side knowing that he still was not in list. He had done so much for me when my family just ruined my life. Those time his genuine love for me was si cleared to me, made me fall for him, and i had a great thought that who didn’t forget me even after I rejected him in school time and he still remember me and sent me request. After fighting the dilemma if I go with him or not I proposed to him. It was heavenly experience. May be he is the who understands me like no one else.

1st 3 years was going well but I have a tremendous jealousy and unsecured. That i always behave rude with him whenever he hang out with his friends, because He loves me so much he sacrificed his friends with a heavy heart. I gave him so much pressure that he was frustrated and depressed. I still blame my self for what I have done with him. And this things was annual because his college organise fest and cultural programs in September. And he was culturally amd socially involved into those things, he participated in music competition and eveey year he stood 1st or 2nd. He was not able to give me so much time those 15days because he had rehearsal for pentathlon and music competition. Those time i was feeling so insecured I can’t explain. Due to this insecurity I behave with so badly that god still punishes me, I tortured him mentally, made him disconnect from his friends everything. I wanted to steal his 100% times for me. I literally broke him.

In 2015 we’re arguing over phone (the reason was why he came back late last night, why he went to cinema hall after a toughest medical exam). And this conversation was heard by his parents and they made the decision to not accept me in future.

We were experiencing a tough time. I had very harsh to him when I stood beside him because he was going through a tough time for his medical pg preparation and I’ve done the opposite he deserved.

His result was not came out good, he was depressed but still didn’t stopped talking to me. I was crying eveey day amd night amd prayed to god for our relationship because I knew everything was my fault. After 6-7 months the relationship was going normal. Again after 1 year he he took the admission test and now he succeeded. After that oir relationship started to get better. He told me he will marry me in 2020 after his final exam. I was again so happy. Still the dat I did not know that his parents still hates me. I thought everything is normal now because he was always wirh me, calling, dating, we got so many lovely memories in last 3 years. We had started to dream again about our future.

I never told my parents about my any relationship but they got to know from my cousins because i told them (it was again a stupid decision of my life).

He said to me before 1yr of the marriage i can tell my parents. So i was waiting for the day when I can give my parents some relief. Iand this june I have told my mom about the relationship and she was finally happy.

Now I have sent his father a friend request to lessen the awkwardness for meeting the first time. And his father deleted my request. This scared me a lot and I told him to ask his parents if they have any problem with me.

He asked his parents and they now saying that they’ve not forgive me for what I have done to him in past (I gave him suicidal threats if he doesn’t talk to me). They’re are not going to accept girl with a psychological disorder.

He is trying his best to convince me that niw I changed my behavior, but they’re not willing to listen to him.

His final exam is after 3 months and this is too tough because if he didn’t stand 1st he will be sent to village as a normal doctor and his 5 years of study to get a good position as a surgeon in city’s number 1 medical college Will go in vein.

He is now in verge of mental breakdown because he is again struggling with double sided pressure – loosing me and losing his career.

I have just a question why his parents didn’t tell him these 3 years to not to progress when they have a genuine hatred for me. He can’t dgo against his parents because they have done so many sacrifices for him, because making a 1st generation doctor from a middle class family is not easy. He has som much debt to his parents and that’s why he still tries to convince them. But I know there is no chance to get him back.  “karma” hit me way more harder than I thought. God is punishing me in every way possible, my all prayers go in vain.

I told my mom about the incident and she is now busy to brain washing me and tries to make do arrange marriage.

He is also saying that he has ruined my life and don’t want to ruin further. He is saying he always loves me, because before i propose he never forget about me. But he’s telling me why should i ruin my life for him.

It teared me into pieces. My life is again doom and dark like before. He was a angel of my life, gave me his vital years, his unconditional love, never harsh to me though I was harsh to him, never stopped loving me, he was a light in dark days I can’t forget how much he has done for me, everyday he listened to same depressing words with patience and he tirelessly tried to console in my past dark days.

God is not going to forgive me for my sins. I think I am going to lose him, I always wanted to get someone like exactly like. I think I don’t deserve him, he is so good guy he deserves lot better than me. I am unemployed, depressed, quarrel prone, don’t have any good sides nothing. And he has a good carrer throughout his life, he is trained classical singer, he is good at everything. God has better plan for him I think, that’s god now snatched him from me.

I am waiting for death, because then I can forget him!

Please pray for me! I don’t want to lose him!