Hi Lost Soul,

You have been together just for the last one odd month or so and developing strong liking for each other or any kind of bonding, in such a short span of time, is unlikely.

Further, in the beginning of a relationship one tries to build trust and if at this stage itself one does not keep to his words repeatedly and more over not even bothers to respond text messages and calls that means there is something which we are over-looking.  Here, the best policy is just wait and watch and you need to think twice before moving further from here onwards.

Raju

Gen7171,

There is a proverb “Once bitten twice shy”.  The same formula applies in relationship as well.  You are giving a second try to your relationship.  You must keep in mind those things that went wrong earlier and what are things now which made you think to give a second try.  That means there are bonafide reasons and grounds to come to the belief things can be re-fixed for a second try!

To be patient it requires constant amount of practice.  You can do it by by delaying your immediate reaction that would give you a more clearer and better picture subsequently.  Importantly, remember that once the words are spoken, we cannot take it back, even if we wish; so always think twice before speaking anything.   Bad spoken Words leave scar in others heart permanently so think judiciously before uttering them!  Secondly, always give space and time in relationship to understand things more sensibly.

All the best!

Hannah,

What you have been going through is quite understandable!  It happens when we have expectations from others.  It is quite hurting when we do not get reciprocal response from our loved ones as relationship is believed to be a two-way communication.  We all are common people and have not reached to that level where we love others selflessly and unconditionally.

I do support your attitude that why you have to take initiative of contacting him every time.  The reason which I could make out from your post is that you are more emotionally attached to this guy than him.  You need to wait and watch this time whether he has the same feeling for you or not which will make the things clearer to you.  Thereafter, you can decided whichever way your want!  Secondly, if we have expectations from others we are bound to suffer.  Here, we need to have practical approach and less dependency of our happiness on others to make life more happier & pleasurable.

Raju

Miyoid,

Man is a social animal we always need someone to be there to love us.  There is nothing wrong with you if you want to be loved.  I also sail in the same boat. We yearn for someone who should appreciate, admire and love us!

In relationship there will always be ups and down. No relationship can stay permanently. There would be fight, differences on petty issues.  There would be mood swings.  In fact we are selfish and always have expectations from our partners. At times we become demanding which irritates our partners or the partners have his preferences and priorities.

Things start souring when we do not meet each others expectations or requirements.  In my personal life I have seen that suddenly warmness of relations start diminishing and the time you try fix up things it gets broken up completely.

The important point here is that we being emotional get attached more seriously than our partner and that is the reason we suffer more.  To come out of it the better solution is you have to be practical in relationship and apply brain rather than thinking from heart.  Every relation give us some sort of learning and taking a lesson out of it you should move on…

Best wishes,

Raju

Dear Vicky

Frankly speaking I have joined ‘tiny buddha’ only yesterday because I find a good connection between me and this site.  According to my personal experience of life you need to view things practically from a broader perspective.  We all on this earth are like travellers.  In the journey of life, we will be meeting many persons with whom we will be sharing very closed relations, but at the peak of the journey they would suddenly get departed and at times without giving any justified reasons of their departure, leaving us fuming, fretting and shattered.

Here, we find difficult to manage our life.  From my personal experience I tell you that I came in contact with number of persons with whom I shared a good bond, but suddenly they disappeared from life, like water bubble.  Recently, I lost a person who was like a life line to me, but I have been able to overcome because of my positive and practical approach towards life.

In life, we have to keep on moving whatever the situations and circumstances may be!  If you could follow a simple rule in your life ‘attachment with detachment’, then there would not be any heart burning to the level you have been going through.  According to this rule, we will be socialising with the persons benefiting mutually, but keeping at back of the mind that the relationship or connection is a temporary one!  We must accept the fact that the relationships may not be permanent.  The permanent relationship we can have is with ‘self’ only.  If you learn the art of being happy in your own company, then you will experience a real bliss of life.

Last, but not the least, there must be some buried potential and passion inside you, like sports, music, painting etc just give a try to it.  Devoting time on your passion and doing something that make you happy can change everything, but more importantly do some regular exercises (like morning walk, joining gym etc), healthy diet and of course company of good & cheering people.   While doing so, never know you may meet someone special in your journey of life!

All the best…