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You have so beautiful mind ,if only I could be like you. I am holding onto past so hard that I can’t live in present moment , i m always hoping to do something on future , I forgot to live in present . Its getting so hard not being true to myself letting some emotional getting in a way and disrupt all my happiness .i feel sorry for myself for being such a stupid . Anyway my mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org please sent me mail so I can work on myself for betterment. Thank you
I know at any given moment I can decide this is not how my life’s gonna end but see there is nothing with me to take a step and go somewhere to start a fresh . I wish I could ,but unfortunately I am stuck all this year I have live in monastery I don’t have anything not a degree or a penny in my pocket . God help me get through this .
It’s what I have done is so bad , if only I had let it be the first time then things will be easier . It’s so hard thinking I could have prevented it if only i had enough courage to share it with my family . Now it’s so out of hand . It’s such a horrible sin that I had done . Now after all this I don’t want to stay as nun god help me . It’s getting to tough . I am involving everyone on this god please show me the way I can’t do anything about it .
Thanks a lot inky and ruminant.
It’s not my guru is bad . He was ok when I want to left completely he just told me that think about your dad , we can’t keep you holding back .then thing got worse when I ask forgiveness and said I want to stay at home to take care of my dad then he try to convince me that if you stay as nun then you should stay at nunnery , but I had such a hard time ther I couldn’t say yes .he even ask me to think about it theme I kept saying that I want stay at home that’s when he got angry . Now I don’t know what to do . I can’t go back ask for forgiveness as it’s been two month , I don’t want to I can’t stay at nunnery , as well now I don’t want to stay as nun as well . It’s all happen because of my stupidity .
When I went to ask for governess I was so emotional . It’s all happening because of me I don’t know what to do .
Actually I’m with my parents ,I’m taking care of them .its just that when I went,for forgiveness it all went out of control . I’m still nun but my guru will never forgive me for what I have done to him .its just killing me .my sister they said they will help to get out of country but still I m not sure what to do about my guru I know I can’t change the past but I will always feel that I played with his feeling . How can I had forget that I’m the one that was asking for forgiveness. He said if I stayed at home being nun for him I’m not a nun .
Thanks everyone for your concern . I will try my best to let go of my mistakes and try to shine . Thanks especially to jasmine for sticking with me through out my post . Thanks once again .
Seriously , i think I’m the only one who’s going through this kind of situation can u guys share your dark time with me so I can have some comfort that I’m not the only one .
Do you think so ? Ha ha feel like I have known you guys , now I feel like we r fren
It’s like there are many who had leave nun hood but on my case I actually told my guru that I will leave then I was guilty then I ask for forgiveness then instead I made him more angry not listening to him . Now I don’t want to live as nun and I made promise to him that I will stay . It’s just that it’s gonna effect my parents .
Can you go to my earlier post stuck in regret and help me in tough times . Because I haven’t been able to do anything , i know I’m bad no matter what I do . I really need to know what you think ? Please help me . Any thing that you think will be welcome .
I don’t know why I’m like this . Nothing like this happened to me , I don’t know how to deal with this thing . By the way where r u from .
Please don’t get irritated by me . I just can’t seem to figure out . Why I did , what I have done . What I m gonna do with my life . It’s just a big hole for me right now .
I live in Nepal . I can’t leave my nun hood while I m still here . My parents will never allow me to. I have nothing with me to leave my country. I’m so messed up right now .thanx for keeping in touch .its such a relief I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I m so miserable .
Hi jasmine or Matt
I really need some advice .tonight I woke up at the middle of night and I had this panic attack .i was so restless . I want you give me honest answers for this question , if I leave a nun life now where I have created so much drama , where considering , I promised him which I don’t why I did, where my parents are not in healthy state . Will I be a bad person ? Cause I want to leave very badly , I don’t know how to come forward . Our society is very conservative which gonna crush my family .good god help me .now I think I m really falling into depression .