<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hello Peggy!</p><p>It has been a rough week. All the grand projects. Exams. I am trying. Really hard. To get better. I have my classes and I tutor two teens to keep myself busy. I go for hour long walks, read novels, color books and meditate. I am not religious but to find peace, I sometimes try to pray as well. Everyone says faith brings peace. I try. After all this, I end up pathetically crying over my ex at nights and without any sleep unless I take some kind of medicine for it. It’s 5 am here. I was planning to go to library to catch up on my long study sessions. I’ll just end up being too sleepy and restless. My chest ache is less now. </p><p>The boy who likes me asked me out. But the thought of going on a date, getting close and hurt all over again….makes me not want to go. </p><p>I come back here again and again to hear kind words I think. I know the answers maybe. </p><p>I am sorry I sound so lost. But I am. Take care.</p><p>Rideeta</p><p> </p><p> </p>

Dear Anita,

When my parents fought it hurt. I questioned love and romantic relationships. Now that I am little older. I understand. Every romantic relationship faces the test of time and difficulty. My parents did not hide their hardships and fights.

I coped and was strong all those times. A part of me hoped that one day I will have a family of my own. I’ll marry the person I love and very attracted to, get financially stable enough and raise kids. Life had other plans for me when it came to romance. The person I love is not waiting for me to show up. I lose my focus in academics as well. I am in one of the top universities in my country and I cannot focus. Because studying seems useless. If I am not going to build a family, what am I going to do with all the money I earn anyway?!

I know I can donate. Enjoy. Going to places by myself. But it seems not enough. Most of the time.

Rideeta

@peggy thank you for the encouraging words <3

Yes @anita. I need to see a better therapist. And a counsellor again, I think. I had a breakdown last night. The boy in love with me helped. After exams and classes we hung out.

@peggy, I had anxiety issues since young. I dated my ex for about a year before breaking up. He is religious and I am not. Something he did not want to negotiate.

I try to meditate. It’s difficult. I’ll keep trying.

Thank you for your responses.

I am not okay. I like attending classes but my focus is waay off. About 8 more months till I graduate.

P.S. Thank you Anita. I was hoping you would show up.

Anyone there?