Forum Replies Created
September 24, 2019 at 4:20 pm #314117
It has been a rough week. All the grand projects. Exams. I am trying. Really hard. To get better. I have my classes and I tutor two teens to keep myself busy. I go for hour long walks, read novels, color books and meditate. I am not religious but to find peace, I sometimes try to pray as well. Everyone says faith brings peace. I try. After all this, I end up pathetically crying over my ex at nights and without any sleep unless I take some kind of medicine for it. It’s 5 am here. I was planning to go to library to catch up on my long study sessions. I’ll just end up being too sleepy and restless. My chest ache is less now.
The boy who likes me asked me out. But the thought of going on a date, getting close and hurt all over again….makes me not want to go.
I come back here again and again to hear kind words I think. I know the answers maybe.
I am sorry I sound so lost. But I am. Take care.
RideetaSeptember 13, 2019 at 7:26 am #312065
Tough love doesn’t work for me. The more I try it. The more difficult it gets. I have faced poverty when I was younger. I just need bare minimum to survive. I have a big project submission today. I have GAD. My chest hurts. It’s difficult.September 10, 2019 at 1:01 pm #311391
When my parents fought it hurt. I questioned love and romantic relationships. Now that I am little older. I understand. Every romantic relationship faces the test of time and difficulty. My parents did not hide their hardships and fights.
I coped and was strong all those times. A part of me hoped that one day I will have a family of my own. I’ll marry the person I love and very attracted to, get financially stable enough and raise kids. Life had other plans for me when it came to romance. The person I love is not waiting for me to show up. I lose my focus in academics as well. I am in one of the top universities in my country and I cannot focus. Because studying seems useless. If I am not going to build a family, what am I going to do with all the money I earn anyway?!
I know I can donate. Enjoy. Going to places by myself. But it seems not enough. Most of the time.
RideetaSeptember 8, 2019 at 3:13 am #310813
I was young. After my ex broke up with me, I dated other people. My ex got hurt. I was young back then. Now I underatand, I did not cheat on him. We were not in a relationship then. Even if he is hurt, that’s not for me to worry about.
The dates went nowhere though. I was too sad. Not much regrets about it anymore. But I wish I had given myself more time to heal back then, except of trying to distract myself with dating.
RideetaSeptember 8, 2019 at 3:09 am #310811September 7, 2019 at 8:30 am #310735
@peggy yes, my ex wanted me to be religious as well. I made it clear from the beginning that I am not. He kept hoping.
I have had anxiety issues since sixth grade. Mom-dad fighting a lot and pressure to do well academically. My parents are okay and peacefully together. Academic pressure has increased. I feel a need to prove myself all the time. I know my ex does not care and he i’s the class topper. But I felt so insignificant compared to him. Like I am nowhere near good enough. It’s just my insecurities talking, I know. As much as I try to not consume myself with these thoughts, the more the engulf me.September 7, 2019 at 6:20 am #310725
Yes @anita. I need to see a better therapist. And a counsellor again, I think. I had a breakdown last night. The boy in love with me helped. After exams and classes we hung out.
@Peggy, I had anxiety issues since young. I dated my ex for about a year before breaking up. He is religious and I am not. Something he did not want to negotiate.
I try to meditate. It’s difficult. I’ll keep trying.
Thank you for your responses.September 6, 2019 at 1:19 pm #310687
I have generalized anxiety disorder. I am currently prescribed prozac 20mg. Then later on when I was crying to much. I was advised to up the dosage but it was too much for me. I slept all day and had a headache. I now take only 20mg of it.
I was not prescribed clonazepam. I take 0.25-.5 mg per day. It helps me with my anxiety attacks and makes me sleep.September 6, 2019 at 1:06 pm #310647
I am not okay. I like attending classes but my focus is waay off. About 8 more months till I graduate.
P.S. Thank you Anita. I was hoping you would show up.September 6, 2019 at 1:00 pm #310641
I feel extremely lonely and suicidal. I have an exam tomorrow. I really wanted to talk to someone. Maybe everyone is just busy today.
Hey, I do not want to be so lonely. I shall try to sleep. Without medication. Have an exam tomorrow. Medication will make sleep easier but I need to wake up on time for my classes.September 6, 2019 at 12:51 pm #310633
I know that the pain is overwhelming and it will go away if you let yourself be.
I am not sure if God exists or not. But maybe you can do things to make yourself calm and happy? Simple things like- art, cooking, a walk, talking to a loved one? Take one day at a time. And be good to others and yourself.
Here, we are to listen.
May you find peace and joy. I am so sorry you are going through this. May you be alright.September 6, 2019 at 12:42 pm #310627
What I like about myself-
1. Brave. I want to give up. I make plans for it. I never do.
2. Forgiving. I always end up forgiving the people who did wrong. Holding a grudge is just too much for me.
3. Confident about my body. I love my body, my smile, my voice.
4. I like that I am creative sometimes. I can make art with bright colors.
5. I am caring and sensitive.September 6, 2019 at 12:33 pm #310623
He was watching you. Every detail of you imprinted in his memory. Enjoy the days of love.August 18, 2017 at 9:57 am #164588
Are relationships this difficult for everyone?
I feel devastated.August 18, 2017 at 9:31 am #164582