Forum Replies Created
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AuthorPosts
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Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantHe is not for you! You can do so much better. You deserve respect. Mixed signals = non-interest or full follow up or commitment. Make a list of what you want in a relationship and hang it on the wall. Remind yourself of it any time he tries to make contact again. It’s time to move on from him. Karma will take care of the rest.
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantYou have to respect no contact. If she wants you, she’ll reach out to YOU.
Keep using your coping skills. Sounds like you’re becoming a greater version of you. Love yourself and forgive yourself. You loved the best way you know how. It might not have matched what the other person was looking for. That happens in relationships. Doesn’t mean you have to blame yourself for life.
Maybe see what other fish are in the sea and get your confidence back…
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantRed flag -dishonesty. It doesn’t matter how he comes to his decision, what he truly wants, or if he values you more. He deceived you. There could be another woman in your relationship in the future. You will never be able to trust him again if he can live a double life like that. Let him go and know your worth.
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantDear Anna,
You have so much to give even if you think you don’t. Those who reject you and difficult situations do not define you. You are the only you that will ever be. You can take your power back by believing in yourself. You don’t need to win the world over. You need to be true to yourself, whatever that means. That will give the bravery to get through this. You are not alone. I’m glad you are asking for help. I have been through a recent trial of med changes for my bipolar where I was struggling with hallucinations and also cannot work am on disability. Luckily that has been solved. I barely survived mental health crises all my life. So I know that there’s a force in this world of good that holds us together. It doesn’t matter what you call it – God, universe…but know that there’s good working in your life. You just can’t see it. Somehow you will use this part of your story to make yourself strong and help others. You are the only one who can share your story. So be open. Be more vulnerable. Allow people to see this side of you.
Sarah
April 28, 2023 at 3:27 pm in reply to: My spirit was crushed in 2011 and I still can’t move forward. #417814Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantI have had trouble with therapists too. I see just a psychiatrist right now for bipolar. So I get it. I worked very hard on myself on my own through writing therapy and other coping skills. I don’t know what personally would help you but I can say that there is still hope. I understand you’re working through a very tough situation. That sucks that those hotlines can be pushy to get off phone. At least you know what works and what doesn’t work for you to an extent. Maybe something else on the resource page will help. But I’m here to talk to too.
I think it’s good to separate two things: Unemployment and poverty do not equate your worth. We all hit lows sometimes. You’re human. You’re allowed to struggle. There’s a job section on this forum where you can post maybe about job hunting or something like that!
If you want advice or just someone to listen, I’m here too! Let me know how I can help. I think that you are being extra hard on yourself ON TOP of the financial struggle. The last thing you need is self-blame. And I see that self-advocacy has hit a dead end many times so it’s good that you found this forum.
As for job searching, there are also remote jobs if you can’t find something local. Just something to keep in mind!
April 28, 2023 at 3:16 pm in reply to: My spirit was crushed in 2011 and I still can’t move forward. #417812Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantAlso you’re welcome.
April 28, 2023 at 3:15 pm in reply to: My spirit was crushed in 2011 and I still can’t move forward. #417811Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantDo you have anyone you can talk to at all about your feelings? Suicidal ideation even something you don’t plan to act on can lead to tunnel vision and further isolation and pain. Do you have a trusted friend, family member or therapist? There are also hotlines if you check out Tiny Buddha resource page.
April 28, 2023 at 3:06 pm in reply to: My spirit was crushed in 2011 and I still can’t move forward. #417801Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantYou’re being very hard on yourself and thinking you “should” be a certain way, that your life “should” be a certain way and that your worth comes from others’ acceptance of you. I am autistic and socially awkward. I’m an introvert on disability for bipolar. I am shy around people I don’t know. I’ve tried volunteering, meetups and facebook groups. I get it. We sometimes hit a wall of “Where do I go next? Who do I become?” But let me be clear – that’s where your breakthrough happens. You must break through that wall with your dreams, goals, relationship with yourself and humanity found even if you feel you have nothing. I don’t know who you are or what your life has been like, but I have experienced similar feelings. This is not your unbecoming. This is you needing help. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean YOU are wrong, bad or worthless. It just means you need a hand up and some kindness. Sometimes kindness is hard to find in this world. But you can start with being kind to yourself. You deserve to be here. You are good. You are beautiful. You are enough exactly as you are in this moment. You do not have to fret about others’ getting it. If they don’t, they aren’t worth chasing. Find something you love to pour your heart into even if it doesn’t make sense to others. If you want to continue venting here, that’s a way to make some connections.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by
Sarah Jeanne Browne.
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantI like centering prayer.
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantHi Helcat,
I use writing and music therapy personally. I like to listen to “Smile” by Nat King Cole. It comforts me. I also recommend the following:
Have self-compassion for feeling this way. It’s not your fault.
Tell someone. Anyone.
Ground yourself in your senses.
Add some spiritual component (whatever your faith is, it helps).
Have a list of reasons to live ready to go whenever you feel this way.
Talk to yourself like you would a best friend. What would you tell someone else going through it?
Instead of giving up, surrender instead. So instead of wrestling with your thoughts and life, just surrender.
Get out of your head. Do something that you like.
Hope that helps!
Sarah
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantI read your comment. He is truly an abuser. These are all abusive behaviors. I hope you get out.
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantGet out of that situation. He abused you. Abusers know what they are doing. He is mirroring you to manipulate you to like him. He did not respect your boundaries at all. Even if you’re in a good place now, this is abuse. He is an abuser. Please get away from him.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
Sarah Jeanne Browne.
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantJavier,
Look up on youtube: Life Without Limbs: Nick Vujicic Ministries
He has a lot of inspirational messages. How about try to watch daily? I’ve also started watching Fresh Anointing on youtube.
There are many more.
I’m glad you are forgiving people. You said that you still hold a lot of resentment. I would say you might want to forgive but your emotional state isn’t matching that intention. Anger is okay but it points to something deeper.
I like how you told advice that you are going through something too and it was okay to be lost sometimes.
I worry a lot and can think in all-or-nothing thinking. If one thing goes wrong, I think all is wrong. And vice versa with being right. I don’t ALWAYS think like this. But I often do. I realized that my brain was telling me one thing and my soul was telling me another. My brain tells me to think small and be scared. My soul tells me to expand and live for God and meaning and purpose and something greater than myself. My brain wants me to be defeated and joyless. My soul wants me to be like a child again full of wonder and joy. It’s a constant battle. It’s a spiritual battle and we are ALL going through it.
Like you told that stranger on that forum, you are not alone in your suffering. I’m not going anywhere. I know it’s hard right now. I can’t help you to find all the answers. It’s going to be hard. But you have nothing to worry about. The worst is over. You have PTSD. It’s just processing life and picking yourself up again and leaning on God. I would say that my faith helps me a lot. I don’t know yours but whatever holds meaning for you spiritually, it’s time to listen to it.
We can’t know what’s going to happen. I can’t tell you it’s all going to turn around. All I can tell you is that I’m here for you. I hope that you know you are worth helping. I see good in you. I see a person who has promise. I see a person who is caring. I see a person who is just scared. That’s all it is. You are just scared. And you have every right to be. You’re still here aren’t you? That’s your sign that it’s okay to let go now. For a moment, set it all down. For a moment, release your struggles and exhale. You are Beloved. You are enough. You are good. You are going to be okay once you get a handle on your emotional state. That’s what you are up against – your brain is trying to work you up into defeatism. You can’t see through it, but I can. I can tell you that you are punishing yourself and holding onto anger towards past injustices. You haven’t released your grip once even a little bit. Try surrendering.
I’ll be here to hold space with you too.
Again, I ask you- what would you tell someone in your position?
Sarah
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
Sarah Jeanne Browne.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
Sarah Jeanne Browne.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
Sarah Jeanne Browne.
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantJavier
You can still help your wounded inner child now. Nothing will get you over the injustice of what happened. But you can forgive.
I have trauma too and read The Gift of Forgiveness and it reached my traumatized and neglected heart to forgive. It was very powerful for me.
I go through analysis paralysis sometimes in the morning when I think about my to do list. I get overwhelmed. Right now what’s motivating me to start is helping you. So you are helping someone right now.
You need emotional support. I still think a support group would be very helpful.
Why don’t you try giving someone else advice on this forum? Just one person. That will help you feel like you’re helping someone.
Giving doesn’t trigger me like it does you. We have two different reactions to it. I don’t understand yours but I know service to others is a great purpose so long as you take care of yourself.
Youre in great mental anguish. What do you do to process these feelings? How do you react to them?
I want you to start seeing the good of yourself. The author of Life Without Limits another book I recommend is about a man born without limbs. He too felt like a burden and suffered depression and even suicidal thoughts. Then he met someone like him. He thought he could help him. It turned his perspective around. He’s now an inspirational speaker and leader.
If you were to meet someone like you, what would you say?
Sarah Jeanne Browne
ParticipantOkay let’s focus on one of your positives.
- Protecting and caring – P
How are you protective and caring?
When have you protected and cared for someone?
How does it feel to protect and care?
How can you protect and care for others and yourself now?
What does being compassionate look like for you?
How do you find purpose in compassion? Where can you use this compassion to create meaning for your life? Who can you help?
Start there. 🙂
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This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by
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