Hey V.

I’m sorry that you’re going through this right now, but you should be proud that you’ve made the first step to being better (for lack of a better word). You deserve a round of applause for deciding to try.

I actually wrote a post about all of this here: http://growingup4dummies.com/deal-depression/ which you can read if you want. It’s sort of my experience with overcoming (trying) depression.

A few things that jump out at me about what you wrote:

“According to them” – as difficult as it may be to accept, it really doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks about you. As long as you keep doing what makes you happy, and what you feel is right for you.

“scared that my advisors and everyone else in my life will scoff at my dreams” – again, as long as you’re doing what makes you happy. Remember that you’re the only one living you life.

“I see my peers successful career-wise and relationship wise” – remember that you’re seeing everybody else’s “highlights reel” and comparing it to your “behind the scenes”. Everybody has their own struggles and confusions – they just often don’t show it.

As simple as it is, my advice to you is to just do the things that make you happy, without worrying about what other people think – and I know that that can be difficult. But the only thing you can do is try. It helps me to remember that today, I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, and I’m doing the best I can. There’s no reason to feel like I’m less than anyone else, because no one has walked (or is walking) exactly the same road as me. Trust that as long as you’re doing what makes you happy, and what is right for you, things will work out exactly as they’re meant to.

If you want to talk more (because talking really does help), I’m around.

Dearest Bernadette

I think the first thing that you need to hear is that there is nothing wrong with you. You’re not damaged and there is no problem with you – life brings you to where you need to be in order to help you grow. So wherever you are today is where you’re meant to be – as sucky as that place can seem.

You say “Past few years ive become very angry and depressed,” – have you thought about the fact that you’re trying so hard to please everyone else that you’ve forgotten how to please yourself? You need to look after yourself and do the things that bring joy to your life instead of trying to make everyone else happy. Remember that you need to love yourself first – because the way you treat yourself is a guide for how other people are going to treat you.

“cause I have this mentality that no one likes me, and that I should be lucky im with so and so” – you need to let go of this idea, and the idea that you don’t deserve the best. You deserve happiness, but you won’t find it if you’re looking for it in someone else.

You do seem as though you have many negative thoughts and attitudes to work through, and you should find someone that you can talk to about how you’re feeling. If you want, I am around to talk to. I would also suggest journaling. Recognise your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Write down the things that are good about you. Write down the things you enjoy and what you want out of life. Find ways to treat yourself well. Start doing things that make YOU happy and fulfilled.

If you want to talk more, I’m here. Wishing you all the best.
Ke

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

If you feel like you’re walking down the wrong road, you don’t have to keep walking. You can turn around. You don’t need to feel like just because you’ve been turned from what you feel is your true path that you’ll never be able to get back there. You’re the only one who is control of your life and your path.

As for you friend and his “destructive”advice – you don’t know whether it was ignorance or maliciousness, and holding onto so much anger is only hurting you. Remember that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is just to teach us a lesson that we might not have learned without pain.

It’s my experience that, unfortunately, most people are very focused on their own wants and will do whatever they can to get it. Being angry with them will not help you and it will not help them either. People are going to hurt you sometimes, but you need to forgive them and love them anyway.

Rather than be angry at him (or yourself) use this experience to learn about yourself. Know that you can use this experience, not to harden yourself and become distrusting, but to understand your reasons for ignoring your intuition to appease someone else and learn how to be strong in yourself.