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  • #46124
    Jake
    Participant

    I’m going to be straight up honest with you. I’m so incredibly drunk.<br><br>

    Drunken words are sober thoughts that’s the only way I’m able to type this. Thank god or whoever for spell check. But my question is I have never found a reason to live at all. I do believe in god no matter how many unbelievers read this. Something has happened in my life that would never change my mind and no one would understand. But why? Why am I living in this world of so much evil and every day I feel like I’m living in hell? Even when I’m happy I still feel there’s no point or reason to be here. Whenever I think about it all I began to shake and I feel cold. Even If I made a billion dollars I still don’t think I would feel real. Everything feels like a dream to me and everything looks staged. I’ve asked for help in so many different ways and places and no one seems to understand what I’m saying. I’m so scared right now and I have no other place to go to. I found this website and I hope it will help me on my journey on trying to live my fullest and fix me.<br><br>

    Everyone says “Hey, even if nothing matters, you might as well live it to your fullest because this is your only chance.” But why? Why should I? Why should I waste my time if nothing matters anyways? Every tree, house, street, person, car, will not matter in the end? I will see what I saw before I was born. Not black nor white. Nothing. Which leads me to a conclusion. If you were to mathematically add it all up, what would be the equation that I’m able to type this to all of ya’ll and ask my question? It would be impossible. No math equation is that long or complex. I’m no math mathmation, but I would say that it just doesn’t seem that math could add up to that. It’s to impossible of a question to ask. There’s to many complex questions to make it right. Doesn’t that seem all to fishy to you?
    <br><br>
    If you still don’t understand what I’m trying to say, I understand completely. But that’s not why I’m here. I know you have probably read so many questions of people asking why they should live. But so have I. I answer all of those questions with the deepest part of my heart of why they should. But after that, In my mind, I don’t believe any of that for myself. I seem to want everybody else around me happy but myself and I can’t seem to find it. I do understand that what I see, I will only see once, because this is the only life that I have and it could just be all of a coincidence that this is all happening and I’m incredibly lucky to be able to understand and see what I see and know what I know. But please, I beg you and whoever for help. I will not end my life for no matter the mean answers I get from people, I just want to hear your reason on why you truly get out of bed every morning.
    <br><br>
    I have so much more to say, but I can’t type it all here at once. If you still don’t understand what I’m saying or think that I’m stupid I’d be happy to continue on my thoughts. All I want to know is, why do you stand up in the morning? What makes you feel real? How do you push yourself to forget about this negative and just move on and enjoy your life no matter how it looks to you?
    I’m only asking for your thought and help. I love you all no matter what douche bag replies. Please help.

    • This topic was modified 7 years ago by Jake. Reason: Easier to read
    #46127
    Smile
    Participant

    Go to mooji on linehttp://www.mooji.org ….. and watch some videos of Eckart Tolle- Youtube. They are both enlightnedd and free..See how they do it… I am.. OM and good luck 🙂

    #46132
    Ke
    Participant

    Jake, I can truly say that I understand how you feel. I actually wrote about this a few years ago after having a conversation I had with my boyfriend – the gist of the whole post being “why put up with all the difficulties of life and supply your own light when essentially it’s meaningless?”

    Sometimes life really does seem pointless, because we have no way of KNOWING what the point of everything is – why we’re here or why we need to do the things we need to do.

    When I struggle with wondering what the point is, I think about being able to help other people – that’s where I find my purpose and my joy. I may struggle, but my struggles may help someone else and sometimes that thought helps. Other times, I just try to remember that if there is no meaning, then it’s up to me to create meaning for myself – I get to decide WHY I’m here, and because of that, I can decide what’s important for myself.

    What gets me out of bed is the thought that today, I can do whatever I want – I can begin to create exactly the kind of life I want. I can be a little better every day and I can slowly start to fill my life with things that make me happy, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem to other people.

    When thoughts of pointlessness hit me, I try to think about all the things I want to do – create a business that helps people, go on a picnic, buy a house, get a puppy – these things don’t mean anything and they may be pointless in the long run, but if there’s no ultimate point, then there’s no reason to do anything but what makes you happy – and these things make me happy.

    PS. If you want to talk more, I would really LOVE to talk to you about all of this – whether I can help at all or not. Talking is nice sometimes.

    #46138
    Sarah
    Participant

    I actually know exactly how you are feeling. I too, have felt this way recently. I’m not sure I wouldnt have injured myself honestly. It hurts and is a very dangerous but a real emotion. The only advice I can give you is you have to have the courage to make the choice to enjoy life. I am sure you know there are happy things that happen all the time. If you look beyond the reason why we live-no one knows. Just enjoying life and riding the wave of life. Accept that you dont know the reasons we live. And focus on the positives. It’s a choice.

    you said:
    But why? Why should I? Why should I waste my time if nothing matters anyways?
    i agree with you that nothing matters(to an extent) but are you wasting time by being miserable, and feeling bad already?

    #46141
    Scott
    Participant

    Hey Jake, your post caught my eye on the home page with the title “anyone please read”, and here I am. I just finished work; it’s still my afternoon here in Canada on December 3. It shows you posted at 4am on December 3, so I’m not sure where you’re located.

    Jake, I hope you’re still around man to read this when you wake up later today or whenever. I think most of us came across this site for similar reasons. I won’t say I completely understand what you yourself are going through, but I want to tell you that I suffer from bipolar disorder, and have for many years, and what that means is that my reality is not always everyone else’s, so I get you on some levels. People don’t understand always how I feel, or why my moods change so fast, why I’m not consistent in my feelings or decisions. It’s frustrating, and I feel empty and lonely alot of the time.

    Jake, you want to know why I get up in the morning. I get up because of HOPE. You started off ur post why saying you believe in God. I do too. Think about that, Jake. We believe there is a Creator who made the universe, the earth, and all life on it. That makes sense because of the order and complexity in a single cell. If simple things like a pen need a designer, how could more complex things come about by chance?

    Now, why do schools exist? Why do parents send their kids there? Why do they buy books and read to their kids? Why do parents tell kids not to cross the street without looking both ways, or not to eat too much candy, or not to smoke, etc.? It’s because it’s a natural thing that this God we believe in put into them as parents, to teach and guide their children to help and protect them, and show them love.

    So if parents do this naturally with their kids because God gave them that nurturing instinct, would it not make sense that God himself would want to guide, teach and protect us? I’m not sure about you, Jake, but to me it’s reasonable to believe God would not just create humankind to wander aimlessly on this planet, stumbling and unhappily trying to make sense of it all. God has not done this, but in fact He has given us HOPE. The key to that hope is knowledge of why things are and why life is the way it is today, and how and when it will change.

    In my opinion, and from my own personal experience, it is not possible to find deep contentment and the answers you seek Jake without considering God in the equation. Sadly, many today have dismissed God and the Bible as useless, and this has created a world wherein people believe there are no true answers, only what seems to work for them. This can be confusing.

    In short, Jake, there IS a reason to get up in the morning. It is the HOPE that this world as it is today will not continue always. The Bible’s answer to our situation today can be illustrated this way:
    Suppose there is a classroom of students, and the math professor is solving an equation on the whiteboard.
    One rebellious student pipes up and starts saying that the professor doesn’t know what he’s doing and that he
    could solve the math problem better. Some other students join the rebellion, while others remain silent to see
    what will happen.
    The professor has 2 choices at this point: He could kick the rebellious students out of class and continue. But would this solution satisfy the students who were quietly watching what was taking place? Might some of them lose respect for the professor because they might think he was afraid of being proved wrong by the rebel?
    The other choice is that the professor could hand the chalk to the rebellious student and allow him the chance to prove himself.

    This is what gives us HOPE Jake. This is exactly what the Bible shows God did after Adam and Eve rebelled. They believed Satan when Satan made God seem like he was a liar and was holding back good from them in Genesis Chapter 3. God could have zapped Adam, Eve and SAtan all out of existence and started over. But the angels who were watching in heaven might have wondered if God was afraid that Satan really would have done a better job ruling the world. Also, they might have lost respect for God using his power that way. So what did God do instead?

    Well, He stepped into the background for a period of time and handed the chalk of world rulership over to Satan and humans. Jake, we are still living in this period of time. That’s why life sucks, and we have problems, mental, emotional and physical. It’s all a part of being born imperfect, and living in a corrupted world every day.

    Jake, I wake up sad still sometimes. I have motivation, no zest for the day ahead. Other days I look forward to my day. Either way, thanks to what God has revealed in the Bible, I understand why life is the way it is, and that it’s only TEMPORARY. Soon, just like the professor would not allow the rebel to take the whole class solving a problem he couldn’t, God will also step in and take back control of this world which should have belonged to him.

    That gives me HOPE, and that’s why I get up in the morning.

    Jake, I don’t expect you or anyone to believe something simply because I say it. But if you do truly believe in God, take a closer look at the Bible and what it really says. There really IS a reason to keep going my friend; I’m a guy who can testify to that.

    You are welcome to contact me anytime Jake. I hope this post will find you a bit better.

    #46150
    Jade
    Participant

    Jake, I definitely understand where you’re coming from! When you add up the infinity of existence, when you step back and really take a hard look at the world, the galaxy, the universe, what do we matter in our insignificance. Unlike you, I don’t think I believe in a conventional god. My religion is science and physics. 😀

    For me, an infinite future of being forgotten and insignificant in the grand scheme of things is extinguished by tiny moments lived in the present. There’s no <i>point</i> or meaning to laughing with friends, but it brings joy. Sometimes, it isn’t about a goal or a mission. It’s about enjoying the journey, without focusing on the results or a legacy.

    #46161
    Jake
    Participant

    @Smile – I checked out that website and I have been watching the video and listening to that guy speak. He seems very knowledgeable about what he is talking about, I will continue to see what he has to say. He’s very open minded, which I like. Thank you for this.

    @Ke – Thank you for this and I’m glad that you know how I feel. I like how you said “It’s up to me to create meaning for myself – I get to decide WHY I’m here, and because of that, I can decide what’s important for myself.” I have recently been telling myself things like this a lot and try only doing things that I’m interested in. Eventually I will find something that I truly love and enjoy and I will never look back. Thank you for posting, I will defiantly take all of you advice and try focusing on the smaller things in life. I think the point that you have made is, sometimes the little things can make the biggest changes. Feel free to message me anytime jakebb212@gmail.com

    @Sarah – You’re right. It’s just been hard for me to accept. Thank you for this. If I feel I’m wasting my time no matter what, then why not waste my time being happy? “Get busy living or get busy dying” was a good quote from the movie Shawshank redemption I think?

    @Scott – I’m glad my title caught your attention because I received a great answer from you. I live in Texas actually and yes I was up late last night 🙂 I have recently become interested in Canada because I have come to enjoy snowboarding. Out of the blue my step dad gave me a bible about three weeks ago and said that he felt like he was supposed to give it to someone. So I have been reading on it from time to time. Thank you very much for your reply, you sound like a very smart strong person. Wise. Your post defiantly made me feel better. Thank you again

    @Jade – I try my best not to look at it all too hard and think that far into it. But just enough to be open minded about things and keep learning. Your outlook is very unique. You sound smart with a large vocabulary way beyond mine lol. Thank you for this. Enjoy life

    #46189
    gladicanbeanonymous
    Participant

    Hi Jake,

    Not sure if you will check this again, but I just want to say that you are a very positive fella. Your replies to everyone were kind and grateful. And I have also had experiences that makes the existence of God unquestionable for me. Now, I will try to keep my thoughts coherent and if it helps you any well, cheerio. I, too, find that the answer to part of your question is God. The reason for our existence and living daily when life can be crap to live or watch, all has to do with God. I’m glad you are reading the Bible. Another great step is to find someone who can help explain it to you. Unfortunately for me, sometimes knowing /reading/ thinking does not help me. No matter what I do I can’t think about things … um … correctly. I take an herbal supplement to help with that. But when I can’t think correctly and I am in a suicidal phase, my only way past it is to find that one “ultimate thought” that keeps me living to the next day. That: why do I stand up in the morning? Right now, it is my children. I tell myself that I could die today anyway, so let me spend my final moments taking care of them. Quite morbid, but it gets me through to the next day or until my thinking gets corrected. I’ve had many others. When one “ultimate thought” stops working I find a new one to replace it. And I think pain is what lets me know I am alive. I think that whether I am dead, alive, or dreaming pain avoidance is a good thing. Good luck to you.

    #46834
    Ron Tan
    Participant

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    But my question is I have never found a reason to live at all.

    If you want to know the reason, first you have to inquire who YOU really are beyond your body and mind.

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    I do believe in god no matter how many unbelievers read this. Something has happened in my life that would never change my mind and no one would understand. But why? Why am I living in this world of so much evil and every day I feel like I’m living in hell?

    I dunno Jake dude, maybe what they said about the world as “Leela”, that the world is a playground of the One in the game of multiplicity is something you might want to contemplate first.

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    Even when I’m happy I still feel there’s no point or reason to be here.

    Playing, dancing, singing, making love, making faces….. do you need a reason for doing any of those?

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    Whenever I think about it all I began to shake and I feel cold. Even If I made a billion dollars I still don’t think I would feel real. Everything feels like a dream to me and everything looks staged. I’ve asked for help in so many different ways and places and no one seems to understand what I’m saying. I’m so scared right now and I have no other place to go to.

    Go? Where do you want to go? What’s so wrong with the place you are in now?

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    I found this website and I hope it will help me on my journey on trying to live my fullest and fix me.

    Trust me, you are perfect as you are and certainly require no fixing. Find out who you really are, my friend.

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>

    Everyone says “Hey, even if nothing matters, you might as well live it to your fullest because this is your only chance.” But why? Why should I? Why should I waste my time if nothing matters anyways? Every tree, house, street, person, car, will not matter in the end?

    All the answers to these questions are concealed within yourself, that’s why you have to find out first who you really are.

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    I will see what I saw before I was born. Not black nor white. Nothing. Which leads me to a conclusion. If you were to mathematically add it all up, what would be the equation that I’m able to type this to all of ya’ll and ask my question? It would be impossible. No math equation is that long or complex. I’m no math mathmation, but I would say that it just doesn’t seem that math could add up to that. It’s to impossible of a question to ask. There’s to many complex questions to make it right. Doesn’t that seem all to fishy to you?

    As fishy as the game of peekaboo, the game of hide-and-seek.

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    If you still don’t understand what I’m trying to say, I understand completely. But that’s not why I’m here. I know you have probably read so many questions of people asking why they should live. But so have I. I answer all of those questions with the deepest part of my heart of why they should. But after that, In my mind, I don’t believe any of that for myself. I seem to want everybody else around me happy but myself and I can’t seem to find it. I do understand that what I see, I will only see once, because this is the only life that I have and it could just be all of a coincidence that this is all happening and I’m incredibly lucky to be able to understand and see what I see and know what I know. But please, I beg you and whoever for help. I will not end my life for no matter the mean answers I get from people, I just want to hear your reason on why you truly get out of bed every morning.

    I have so much more to say, but I can’t type it all here at once. If you still don’t understand what I’m saying or think that I’m stupid I’d be happy to continue on my thoughts. All I want to know is, why do you stand up in the morning?

    Simple, I get out of bed to honor the roles I am playing in this life. Besides, if I continue sleeping, I might get bedsores all over.

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    What makes you feel real?

    What is real? Why is important for you to feel real? You don’t need to.

    <cite>@Jake2122002 said:</cite>
    How do you push yourself to forget about this negative and just move on and enjoy your life no matter how it looks to you?

    Simply through a realization that nothing is permanent.

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