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August 17, 2013 at 7:59 pm #40673
chupacabraParticipantTo Jaydee – So unreal, I had just purchased Dr. Jamison’s book a few hours before I wrote my post! I’m glad you recommend her. I will also look into Andrew Solomon’s work.
Thanks to all for your kind advice. Of course it isn’t a friend but me who is having this problem. I was too worried no one would respond because of the stigma, so I hid behind the “I have a friend” story. I hope that was not too misleading of me. I figured most people would know I was talking about myself anyway. Thanks again for writing. It helps to know that people care.
August 13, 2013 at 6:59 pm #40391chupacabraParticipantI love this story – you may have changed her life by giving her hope, and that is awesome.
August 13, 2013 at 6:42 pm #40390chupacabraParticipantHi Alexa,
I’ve been feeling like a failure lately, too, and trying to find ways to stop thinking this way. This is kind of corny but today I went to the car dealership to pick up my car, and they had all these motivational signs on the wall behind the service desk. One in particular caught my eye. It said, “Failure is an event, not a person.” I really liked that. I hope you like it, too.
Love and blessings,
ChupacabraAugust 13, 2013 at 2:31 am #40334chupacabraParticipantBilly, thank you for writing your story. I’ve certainly felt alone in my anger and hurt at times, and suffered needlessly because of it. The guidance that everyone has provided in response to your post is so thoughtful and helpful – I wish I had something equally helpful to offer, but really I just wanted to thank you. I needed this guidance, too, and I would not have gotten it if you hadn’t written what you did. I really hope you are able to find peace, because it sounds like you’ve suffered more than anyone should.
August 11, 2013 at 2:07 pm #40194chupacabraParticipantHi Kumo,
I’m a really quiet person around people I don’t know or trust. In the past, if I could find one or two people I trusted, it was so nice to be able to open up and be myself, but finding those individuals got harder and harder as I got older. And I always found a reason to stop trusting those people, so I’m afraid all I can offer you is empathy, not advice. I think I am more sensitive than the average person, meaning that I take things way too personally, and my life would be a lot easier if I just let some things go, but I never seem to be able to do that. On the plus side of being overly sensitive, it does make me a better listener because I can feel what the other person is feeling when they are telling me about it, and usually understand them better than other people who hear the same thing. So it’s a strength and weakness. It can endear you to people, because you really “get” their situation, but having been burned so many times by people I allowed to get close to me because they felt this connection, I don’t really allow it anymore. I still listen, empathize, and treat everyone with respect, but I know my limitations. I cannot handle close friendships because they are too painful when things go bad, and things will inevitably go bad for someone as sensitive as me. Fortunately, I do trust my family – most of the time 😉 It’s okay to give your family a piece of your mind when they tick you off – they’re your family and they have to stick with you. At least, that’s what I believe. Friends – no such guarantee, so tick them off at your own risk. I lost all the ones I ticked off, and for good reason. I was being too sensitive. Anyhow, I hope this was not totally unhelpful. I hope you write again.
Your FRIEND,
ChupacabraAugust 11, 2013 at 1:25 pm #40190chupacabraParticipantI don’t think I know what success means to me anymore, which is why I have not attained it. Freedom from worry and being healthy are the first two things that come to mind, but I think if I had those, I’d probably move on to wanting something else. I have a pretty good job but I don’t appreciate it anymore. I have a family who loves me, for which I am very grateful but I always think I should be more grateful when I hear about people who have no one. I have a loving husband for whom I would do just about anything. But I can’t and never will have kids (biological or otherwise), and that leaves a gaping hole in my soul that nothing can heal. I would have loved to be a stay-at-home mom, like my mom was for me. That would have been my definition of success – to raise a family of my own. So now I don’t know what it is. I guess it’s survival, to overcome the pain, anger, and grief that I have to stuff down every day in order to get out of bed. I’m still new to Tiny Buddha, so I haven’t found inner peace and happiness yet, not even close.
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