@loveleebabe, My advice is to keep your head down and focus on getting financially stable so you can get out of there and restart your life. It sounds like you’re in a toxic relationship. One thing I have learned in life is that you can’t help everyone, you sometimes have to help yourself and that may mean that you can’t help or be someone’s caretaker. I hope you find the strength to get out of that situation. Good Luck.

I have felt the same way before. All can do is tell you how I got out of that rut. After going through some stuff I felt discouraged and lost. I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing with my life. I soon realized that there was no point in stressing over the things I couldn’t control, instead I focused on the things I could control. I began making the list of some goals and wishes I had, this was kinda difficult since I felt like I didn’t care much. After brainstorming I wrote everything I could think of even if it was something I thought was crazy and unattainable. The purpose of this is to give yourself some purpose. I realized that I was in control. I can’t control what other people think, say or do but I control my own actions. Start with something small and stick to it, that’s the key to stick to it. Stick to whatever your are doing until you obtain that goal. After you obtain that small goal it’ll give you confidence. Also you have to move forward, never look back on things and mistakes you made of made in the past. Focus on the present, you aren’t the same person you were then. You’ll never move forward if you are focusing on the negative or things that happened in the past. If you find yourself stuck in a negative environment or around negative people then do something about it. Don’t be afraid of cutting people out of your life or moving away from the negative environment. I know this sounds silly but my first goal began with my home, I decided that I wanted my home to be clean, well organized, and look and feel warm and inviting. I began with my room and then moved to other rooms. Soon I was so busy on organizing and cleaning and redecorating that I wasn’t thinking about the negative things in my life. I had a purpose. I was excited about something. This got the ball rolling, which is the hardest part. Everything after that began falling into place. I decided that I was going to be the person I wanted to be. You become the person you want to be by constantly doing those things a person like that would do. For example, I on my list I wrote down that I wanted to be a runner. So, I began running everyday. Today I would consider myself a runner because I practice and run daily. My point is that we may not know who we are but we control the things that we do that make us who we are. Think about the person you want to be and find a way of becoming that person. I can’t say that I don’t still struggle but when I start feeling bad about myself I look at my list and look at what I have accomplished on my list. Be strong and love yourself because your three boys deserve that person you want to be. If you don’t know the kind of person you want to be then look around for inspirations and look to other people you admire. Good luck on everything and focus on the present.

It’s funny how we ask others for answers to questions we already know the answer to. It’s because we don’t like the truth and we hope that maybe someone else will tell us differently. We can either live in denial and stay in these horrible relationships or we can move on and find someone who values us. First we must love ourselves, we can’t expect a man to make us happy and fill a void only we can fill. If you’re not happy alone you will never be happy with anyone else. Work on yourself and put yourself first and everything will fall into place. Good luck and stay strong.