I am guilty of so much of same things u worry about. worried about being perceived differently than intended when trying to be kind,etc.

You wrote something similar to you didn’t know what a slaughtered pig would sound like-and my thoughts were how much I did know what a pig did sound like. I grew up with both grandparents being farmers.

I spent my childhood in a backwards little town where racism, guns, and ignorance was the norm. It was a sin to dance in churches eyes. We went to church 4 hours on Sundays and then again on Wednesday night. Very little of what they tried to teach me sunk in except feeling guilty or ashamed. But I still was often a free spirited rebellious wild child with some major hang ups.

I am like you in that I do only eat meat that is humanly raised. I rarely eat red meat and only because I had a pot belly pig can I no longer enjoy pork. He ruined bacon for me. But I laughed when you said about the pig squeal because I thought of my pig. I used to keep a harness on him and walk him. When we would come across a bunch of acorns-he would want to stay and eat and eat. when I pulled his leash he would squeal like I was killing him. Now the harness was so I never did–he just wanted to stay and eat and eat. Neighbors would come out of their houses because the noise was so loud. It was deafening.

I am like you that I worry about being rejected when I am trying to be myself and do not want to offend. I believe you and I will always be ok with each other. We are part of the mutual admiration club that we never tried to become members of.

Seaisland

No one has a monopoly on truth. Be the change you want to see in the world. Strive for peace.

I believe anita and I were doing that–exchanging pleasantries –wishing each other well, sharing physical pain of kinship and a smile. Cant imagine Jock chastising us. Cant imagine we were so distracting intent wasn’t seen–intent of acceptance-a kind word.

I was raised (and left) a strict southern Baptist background–anita has certainly shared a completely different background (I wont speak for her) But here on this forum she and I from totally different life starts–connect, wish each other well—I think that was a lot of what this ORIGINAL POST was about.

Thanks anita-
-I missed our personal talks but I was here… I was applying any words of wisdom that applied to me as balms to my old wounds-you are right about the back burner too.
As I am left handed I could write-so I took notes of some things I wanted to ponder over later. Some wisdom I needed right then. Its amazing how we can be there for each other like that here–when it works right.
that energy that connects good intent.

How I got hurt was funny, I fell/slid down the back of an old fort about 25 foot. If I hadn’t been flapping my arms like wings trying not to hit the ground I wouldn’t have gotten so banged up. My friend that was watching me said it really looked like I was trying to fly.

Still enjoying the craziness that is my life
Seaisland

Cath

I am so sorry you are going thru this and feel so alone. My parents also split when I was a young adult while I was breaking up/making up with an abusive partner–it sucks, it hurts, and it seems all encompassing. Excellent advice to share and purge here. It was many years ago for me and I did some healthy and very unhealthy acts to get thru it. I will share some of the healthy actions.

Do something creative. Do you sew? I string beads–go to yard sales, redesign old jewelry combine them with other old pieces. Maybe you draw or have a talent you haven’t used in a while. Recycle, repurpose, dream a new dream. Write a poem, a story. look at paint colors–let them speak to you. Being creative will make you get out of your head and into your body…and stop living in the hurt, even for a little while, then a longer while.

if you do not meditate–start. if you do not exercise–start.

Years later I can tell you now I learned to relove my parents–they weren’t very lovable at the time. this may or may not happen for you.
I can tell you that I have been in other relationships and I learned from all of them. I wish I had not wasted so much time on bad partners, I wish I had been told that I deserved to be treated with respect. My parents were too busy with there own lives to tell me that and because they were raw with hurt weren’t there for me….but friends here on this site will tell you deserve to be treated well,

I am wearing a necklace I made–saw my sister yesterday, she was wearing some jewelry I made. its funky, off the wall, creative, and made with love– kind of like how I turned out, the me I was searching for years ago.

I am an older hippy chick now.. settled down near the beach with a great guy…living a simple life. I still have occasional panic but I have learned skills to help.

I wish that for you. Learning skills to help…finding your voice…get up try again.

Seaisland

Anita
thanks for your kind words on the other thread–but I am staying off the love forums for a while. I will be on other threads.

I want everybody to break up with everybody until they get there own heads screwed on straight. That is not for me to decide or to say so assertively.

Jeez Louise I don’t know how you have the patience but you do give good advice.

My partner is wonderful, but I wouldn’t take 1/3 the crap these guys are putting each other thru. You have to be whole before you can have a healthy relationship.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by Seaisland.

oh Jack …you said I could be president of the eccentric club and know I am going to prove it…I hope you can handle my confusion with a laugh.

I did not see this topic but I had noticed your name changed to Juanita a few days ago. I didn’t see you explain it and I thought –well Juanita is going thru something and when Juanita wants us to know -if ever then we will know. I so wish I could be there for her–because I do have some experience in this.

In the meantime I gave it a fair amount of thought. I have a lesbian close relative that became involved with a man who changed his name to a woman and had the complete operation from Adams apple shaved to complete sexual reassignment. I love (name change) Celeste and totally and completely accept her as a woman. Celeste is rather well known and travels speaking at transgender/gay rights causes throughout the US.

well-now I know you were just seeing if you could change your name.

My new name can be
Dazed and Confused but there for you, buddy

Sigmundina–I need help

whoooo –me too!!!!!!