I am currently going through my first real break up. The reason why I joined this site is because I need help desperately. I feel like im at the lowest point of my life. Worst part is I could engage in no contact for a while because of vacation days but now im back at university and she’s in my class at university, we were put into the same groups for assignments, we carpool together, I am doing an internship at a company she’s at and the guy she’s now involved with is too. At first when we broke up (august 2016) things were extremely bad. She told me she’s choosing to be alone and not to be with someone else. Which I found out wasn’t the case. The person she chose left her or something to that effect and she started speaking to me in the same we used to speak. Later she told me that it’s just the way she is and that she speaks to everyone that way. She told me there’s no hope for a future between us which I couldn’t believe. I still hoped. We stopped speaking for a while until she reconnected with me before new years eve. I met up with her, we spoke. Nothing more. We then started reconnecting as I thought but a few days ago I found out about the guy from work. We had a conversation about it and both said what we wanted to. She apologized and also tried playing the victim but that’s it. Yesterday I had a really bad day as I cut myself off from her when at university. Everyone knew something had happened and I was asked by a couple of people about it and it just broke me down further. I was having the worst day of my life and yet she was smiling at her texts on her phone. I thought I was doing better towards the end of the day but as we were leaving she told us (my friend whom we travel home with) that she’s going to be picked up by this guy today. I felt broken. How could she do this when she knows how badly I’m hurting. All of this has just been too much for me as it’s been going on since August 2016. Alternate waves of happiness and sadness. I haven’t been myself lately. Spoke to my mom about it and it helps when my mother is around but when she’s not I feel intensely hurt. I do want to feel better and move on but I feel deeply attatched and I cannot free myself. Someone please help me