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Simon

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)
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  • in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #400575
    Simon
    Participant

    Hello Anita

    I am well thank you for asking

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393718
    Simon
    Participant

    I see I didn’t know it was that bad now you make me feel like killing myself thanks

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393709
    Simon
    Participant

    No it’s not mr successful I feel far from successful I feel a fraud and useless. I feel so bad about my behaviour but it’s like I have Tourette’s with the insults it happens so fast. I have  obsessive compulsive personality disorder for which I am taking medication and receiving therapyI don’t see it absolves me at all, the fear of losing control is so overwhelming I abuse everyone I hate myself

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393674
    Simon
    Participant

    My wife tells me I behave awfully as I swear at her and belittle her at work. I really don’t mean to I have mental health issues and I am so worried our business will fail I feel I am the only one feeling this way no I am the one holding it all together. I worry so much I lash out with verbals and everyone suffers

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393627
    Simon
    Participant

    I think I want to do something solitary I was a barber for 20 years and now a chef  in a busy cafe a job I wouldn’t do unless I owned the business. So I think a nice methodical solitary job is in order for the rest of my days

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393625
    Simon
    Participant

    Hi helcat it’s extremely demanding being a chef making sure all of the meals go out on time together hot and presentable. My place is so busy I am flat out from start to finish there is not any time to sit down. I have waitresses to serve the food I try and wear comfy shoes maybe I should look for a new career.

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393548
    Simon
    Participant

    I think it is that, but surely I must care about something and someone I’d be a pretty awful person if I didn’t. but I do behave pretty awfully so I’m told maybe that is why perhaps I don’t really care I’m just too afraid to be alone

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393546
    Simon
    Participant

    I’d say please don’t leave me

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393544
    Simon
    Participant

    I think it was when I was laying in bed next to my sister as a child in the dark wanting someone to talk to. That’s been the story of my life

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393542
    Simon
    Participant

    To not be alone

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393540
    Simon
    Participant

    I have rushed into every situation that I have found myself in to be honest with massive responsibilities and consequences. I have lived through them all and dealt with the hand I was given. But throughout all of it I just don’t know whether I was or am doing it for the right reasons and motives. I feel so guilty about this as there have been many lives affected by my actions

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393537
    Simon
    Participant

    How did you become so wise Anita. I have always rushed every decision of my life that’s why I feel it’s all a pretence.

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393528
    Simon
    Participant

    Can this recounting of my life help? I don’t know where it’s leading me is it just good to talk it all through. I always feel I need a definitive answer to my life problems

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393522
    Simon
    Participant

    I have 5 children with 3 mothers. 2 daughters with my first wife my son from his mother and 2 further daughters with my second wife. After I parted from my first serious girlfriend I met my first wife which started off as purely sexual she was 16 and I was 20 she fell pregnant and we were the talk of the village in which we live the baby was terminated but not long after with both of us feeling pretty dreadful and wanting to put things right we found ourselves having another child. As I write this now I don’t think I have ever stopped to think of what any of that actually meant at the time or the implications of my actions. it was my life and it was being played out in public in our local pub alcohol assisted I was not mature enough to deal with any of it. I  I don’t know where to stop with this it seems I’m writing my life story.

    in reply to: What’s my purpose who am I #393521
    Simon
    Participant

    Hi thanks for your reply the only time I do feel ok is when on vacation. As you said the pressure I put on myself keeping my business successful is immense but there is no other way to do it that I can see. My children are at school and can not help. My business is a cafe where I am the chef I have tried to employ others but they are really not as good quality as I am. I think I will need to re think this business and look for another with a better life work balance.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)