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June 3, 2015 at 10:14 pm #77715AlexaParticipant
Do you risk assess things by any chance?!
The problem I always found with being lonely is that I coulda made more effort to not be lonely in some way, but I actually didn’t, I just felt like I was the only person in the entire world.. And now at 26, I get to certain points to where I actually want to be by myself, it’s almost comfortable l, I find comfort in that as otherwise with risk assessing people and situations I work out that sooner or later all those people will probably want a different life anyway.. Never ready, never happy , always finding problems that you can’t resolve. It is you! Lol is it a bad thing? Ermmmm could be, can you fix it sure why not.. You may have just not met the right one!
Or maybe you have commitment issues
… But I generally find the past
is a big teller.. I’m never really
happy.. Sorta always still searching for something I don’t know, but I can mentally always get further alone.May 24, 2015 at 4:07 am #77160AlexaParticipantYah know what, in life you will meet people that you feel a connection with! Sometimes it’s plutonic because without taking the next step you don’t know if feelings would progress, we’ve all done it. You think it’s something but you have a kiss or get close and realise nothing’s there!
In my opinion, step right back, grieve for the loss you will feel and move on because like you said you wouldn’t want to come between two people, you wouldn’t want to hurt her. He is just one of those men that has his cake and wants to eat it to. If you look at it like that, how shady of him! Would you want anything to progress with someone who really has led you on whilst being in a relationship?! No you wouldn’t! If he’s done that to her there’s no doubt he could do it to you also so if you look at it that way it was an easy escape! And thank god because you would have gone through that also! Look at it this way if he was any sort of man he would not have involved himself with you full stop!
Okay so the attentions gone from someone you thought could potentially be a partner for yourself but in reality he wouldn’t have been a good one for you!You did what u felt was right and wrote a letter, you got your reply and he stood by her and she foolishly stands by him, cut the cord and move on, you don’t need to even be friends with someone who has such little respect for his family and really no respect for you!
As the saying goes ‘some will, some won’t, so what, NEXT’ move on let it go and be happy knowing you walked away with your pride and dignity still in tacked and just feel a lil bad that his partner has to put up with that behaviour long term!
You caught a break! Learn from it and grow from it and know that you had the chance to potentially ruin that family but you didn’t because your a good person with a heart, so many people wouldn’t care!
Smile knowing that you got away pain free .. The emotions your feeling now are temporary!
May 10, 2015 at 2:26 pm #76543AlexaParticipantThe thing is your not being selfish you just relied on that person emotionally so now that your going through a tough time with your mother you have that need for that person who spent so much time on!
There is no right way to grieve for a relationship!
My partners ex took his child from him she had an affair in his house he bought them and then told the court he’d been hitting her for years,
I met him fours months after this.
Long road I assure you!See it like this, you’ve been close with the same person for four years shared hopes and dreams, talked about creating a new life one day no doubt! You can’t expect a quick recovery it’s impossible! But you do need closure!
Did you ask all the questions you needed to ask? Get everything off your chest?
It’s a work in progress and heartache is ever so painful! You need to remember why you told her to go and you did it for the right reason!
Be strong , get your answers and remember what ur feeling is normalMay 10, 2015 at 2:20 pm #76542AlexaParticipantYa know what, none of us are normal! All unique in different ways! That’s what makes like exciting and that’s why it’s hard to fit in, plus who likes normal? Embrace your quirky bits, there’s no one else like you and that’s what makes you you! And that’s why people love you
May 10, 2015 at 11:40 am #76539AlexaParticipantEver thought that maybe you like the adventure, after all that’s what life’s about.. The journey! I can tell you one thing that your nan wouldn’t want you to stay where u r for her, she would want u to see the world, enjoy life.. I haven’t had the best one but I can honestly say you don’t give up on things you love.. You can be stable and have adventure.. Your eyes can’t hold u back unless you let them., you don’t need vision to see life for what it is and that is having opportunity to enjoy this huge wide world!
Don’t let days pass you by! We all need stability but don’t miss out on all those great things you love.. You don’t want to regret that., your not stuck your just stationary. You can get moving any time you wantMay 10, 2015 at 11:32 am #76538AlexaParticipantIt’s funny, I read this and thought that is me, I am 26 in two months, I currently am not working and to be honest I really don’t know what I want to do, I get stressed over it!
The only thing I’ve ever learnt is that being true to yourself is what counts, I have spent the last year trying to make friends with my partners family and their friends and frankly is been pointless, I say thinking of every way I could possibly become part of this group of people until I recently realised, I do have my own identity and i don’t really identify with them in most ways, I know who I am, and really.. Who gives if I prefer my own company or would like to spend time alone or not in a group, you are you! Really it doesn’t matter who thinks your boring or whatever aslong as your happy that’s all that matters.. I tried conforming and doing all the things they liked doing but in reality it’s not me .. Life’s a journey you may think you haven’t found yourself yet but you probably have, you just confuse yourself by telling yourself you should be more this way or that way.. Take some time out alone, connect with yourself .. But if you like a good book and nights alone your not the only one I assure you and there’s nothing wrong with that .. It’s way better to be apart from the crowd walking to the beat of ur own drum than in a band where your drowned out by all the other sounds! -
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