Hey Natty,

It seems like you experience a lot of need for approval from the people around you. I’m not sure the problem is that you don’t know who you are (a pretty airy fairy question at the best of times, in my opinion) but that you’re worried the kind of person you are is “boring”.

You probably are being a bit hard on yourself, and needing approval from others is certainly completely normal and not something any of us really ever drop, I don’t think. Maybe you just need to trust your own ideas a little bit more. Reading and writing, going to the gym and having an occasional night out with friends sounds like a fine life to me. If it’s not boring to you, then what’s the problem?

It’s OK to be unsure of what kind of person you are. In fact, I think it can be useful not to have too clear a picture of what kind of a person you are, whatever your age. You might find you’re different from what you thought, even at 26 (or 66). Also keep in mind you’re always changing. Those friends who are out clubbing all weekend now will probably not do the same thing ten years from now. And even if they do, they’ll have changed in other ways.

So being open minded is good. Just trying things and seeing how they fit is useful. But don’t judge yourself if something that works for other people doesn’t work for you. You now know that clubbing every weekend is not for you. That’s good to know, right? And living according to strict church rules doesn’t seem to suit you either. All right, that’s useful. Maybe there’s a different church that suits you better.

We all figure it out as we go along. Don’t stress it.

All good things to you.

It’s funny, I read this and thought that is me, I am 26 in two months, I currently am not working and to be honest I really don’t know what I want to do, I get stressed over it!
The only thing I’ve ever learnt is that being true to yourself is what counts, I have spent the last year trying to make friends with my partners family and their friends and frankly is been pointless, I say thinking of every way I could possibly become part of this group of people until I recently realised, I do have my own identity and i don’t really identify with them in most ways, I know who I am, and really.. Who gives if I prefer my own company or would like to spend time alone or not in a group, you are you! Really it doesn’t matter who thinks your boring or whatever aslong as your happy that’s all that matters.. I tried conforming and doing all the things they liked doing but in reality it’s not me .. Life’s a journey you may think you haven’t found yourself yet but you probably have, you just confuse yourself by telling yourself you should be more this way or that way.. Take some time out alone, connect with yourself .. But if you like a good book and nights alone your not the only one I assure you and there’s nothing wrong with that .. It’s way better to be apart from the crowd walking to the beat of ur own drum than in a band where your drowned out by all the other sounds!

Ya know what, none of us are normal! All unique in different ways! That’s what makes like exciting and that’s why it’s hard to fit in, plus who likes normal? Embrace your quirky bits, there’s no one else like you and that’s what makes you you! And that’s why people love you