Thank you. My symptoms weren´t that bad so i will work on this process, as a longer road too more wholeness in my feelings, and my self

Jungian therapy is how i have understood it as analytical therapy by Carl Jung, which is in-depth psychology working over longer time to find the deeper lying issues that a client has.. Not like more traditional types where they focus on removing the thoughts or issues troubling a patient, analytical goes into the deeper layers of the unconscious parts of a human.

How he does it with me is i try to write down my dreams as often as i can remember first thing in the morning, and send them to him by email, he uses dream interpretation which he is trained at, which basically means that our dreams communicates from the unconscious parts of us mainly through symbolical meaning. How we started all this 6 months ago was my emotional breakdown at work, i started getting my shadow and all my repressed emotions and thoughts which i have been running from since my childhood up in my day to day interaction with life. I had my first session at his office, i was completely exhausted as a 28 year old man, not managing to handle life anymore by the same old coping strategies like exercising, meditation, drugs, friends whatever it was.. i was like mentioned exhausted. First session i cried, and the next and so on. We started to work with all my inner children/memories of everything i experienced as a boy around my violent drug-addicted father and depressed mother. Letting everyone of these boys in me which is a metaphor for everything i experienced which was always laying there in the background chasing me forward reaching for new goals all the time i was never satisfied, and was constantly looking for the approval of people around me and in my life i never felt good enough, this is a programmed behaviour in me since i never were seen as a boy by neither mom or dad, and i was exposed for too many tragic incidents, too much drugs, stealing, lying, hopes broken and the list is endless. So one can say my perception of life has been a broken and that is in my opinion what happens to a lot of people. I will say that a lot of people are going to psychologists and theapists looking for a quick fix and thy go back to the same life they had, with the same habits and only experiencing a temporary relief from the symptoms they have, but in my opinion it seems life people get stuck in the rut they have been in for most of their life, anyway..

So back to my sessions i come into his office talking, crying, expressing all the unfairness of what life has been and he often puts a pressure on the wounds by asking what i feel and where in my body i feel it. For example i feel heavyness in my chest around my heart – disabling my ability to love myself, and life in general, i express a lump in my throat restricting my ability to express my truth as the human being i am, and i express i have intense energy in my feet wanting to run away from the city i live in. Cause how i interpret it is that these feelings in the body has always been there, wanting to run away from home as a child, now feeling safe, not able to love myself cause i sacrificed myself getting the love i desperately needed as child. I missed my dad, looking out the window thinking where is he? when i he coming home? when will he come play with me? why is mom so sad and always stressed out?

And the session often concluded with him giving me details and reflections of his work around me and how he sees my childhood and the things i have experienced. One can say we light up the unconscious parts of me so i can see myself and my journey as a human being in a broader perspective, sometimes i get aha moments during a session, sometimes i leave the office feeling way more sad, sometimes angry and i come more in contact with my body which i have been totally dissociated from most of my life. i was diagnosed with Adhd as a teenager, which is nothing more than utter bullshit, i was traumatized and constantly worried so it prevented me from being present in my life as a child, teenager, and adult.. not handling school, taking drivers license was very difficult for me because as i mentioned i was not present and my faith in myself as a human being was reduced, not managing to express my feelings when someone stepped over the line and bullied me, i was not in contact with my anger for large parts of my life.

So i conclude with Jungian therapy/analytical therapy is a basically a close relationship with my therapist working over long time, for probably some years, so we can delve into the emotions, getting to know my darkness, coming to and understanding of what has happened, how i can cope and love myself more, and releasing those feelings getting a bigger faith and strength inside myself, cause i believe happiness, peace is a choice for any human being which one needs to find in oneself. Getting help from a therapist is just something i need right now, and it feels like it is working from time to time, but sometimes there is a lot of darkness to manage.. but i consider myself extremely lucky being given the gift of opportunity to take on this life challenge now as only a 28 year old man. Cause i do believe trauma is being passed from generation to generation by unconscious habits and conditions until a human decides: This madness stops with me, i am not the same as my parents, i am not an unworthy person, but there is something wrong with what happened to me, and i can make the choice to end the cycle with me.

Thank you so much Anita 🙂 I will go easy on myself

Im a very much up for input.. And thank you for editing.