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Stian

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  • #360267
    Stian
    Participant

    Thank you. My symptoms weren´t that bad so i will work on this process, as a longer road too more wholeness in my feelings, and my self

    #359866
    Stian
    Participant

    I believe your depression is trying to tell you something, if you have the opportunity open up your arms to you depression, feel it, try to communicate with it and see what comes up. I am so sorry to hear about your story, you come from a tough background, know that YOU are strong! you have endured this pain, and your soul has immensely strength and you can use this and grow even stronger from all of this! and it is also not easy to cope with life and what happens around you when your foundation as a child was as brutal as this. My experience is that trauma colours your daily interaction with people from the time the incident happened, and does something with your perception of other humans, and yourself as well. There is nothing wrong with you!

    Spirituality has been in many ways a saviour for me, and it opens up your energy so you attract likeminded people and situations so you can learn stuff, and sometimes life feels amazing when this happens, my take is that don´t get lost in this chapter of your life, it is temporary and a relief from the pain you have been carrying. The trauma you have experienced is still there in your roots and your upbringing. And seeing numbers like 11:11 can be a meaning for something but it is easy to get lost in it and thinking life will always go it´s way when you are in that experience, it is a temporary breathing space for us to fill up for our next encounters with darkness. Take what you learned with this guy and move on a always love yourself, cause this soulmate think is in my opinion just a temporary bliss.. A real relationship takes years to build and something one commits to together to get a stable foundation.

    Remember your life is a long slow journey, you have opened up your energy centres and have had intense spiritual lessons and experiences, take them as grist for your soul mill. I would advise you to lay of the drugs for a while, get into a healthy daily habit of exercise, sun exposure, healthy food, meditation and get to know all of the aspects of yourself. Love every bit of yourself that comes up (even though this is freaking hard sometimes) And be patient with yourself.

    And if you sometimes think that you need to know more about yourself, you can observe yourself when you are around your primary caregivers mom, dad, siblings and see how you behave.. that is your inner child which was abused, bullied and did not get the love which it needed, take those aspects of yourself and start loving every part of it.

    Much love to you, and wish you good luck.

    #359865
    Stian
    Participant

    I believe your depression is trying to tell you something, if you have the opportunity open up your arms to you depression, feel it, try to communicate with it and see what comes up. I am so sorry to hear about your story, you come from a tough background, know that YOU are strong! you have endured this pain, and your soul has immensely strength and you can use this and grow even stronger from all of this! and it is also not easy to cope with life and what happens around you when your foundation as a child was as brutal as this. My experience is that trauma colours your daily interaction with people from the time the incident happened, and does something with your perception of other humans, and yourself as well. There is nothing wrong with you!

    Spirituality has been in many ways a saviour for me, and it opens up your energy so you attract likeminded people and situations so you can learn stuff, and sometimes life feels amazing when this happens, my take is that don´t get lost in this chapter of your life, it is temporary and a relief from the pain you have been carrying. The trauma you have experienced is still there in your roots and your upbringing. And seeing numbers like 11:11 can be a meaning for something but it is easy to get lost in it and thinking life will always go it´s way when you are in that experience, it is a temporary breathing space for us to fill up for our next encounters with darkness. Take what you learned with this guy and move on a always love yourself, cause this soulmate think is in my opinion just a temporary bliss.. A real relationship takes years to build and something one commits to together to get a stable foundation.

    Remember your life is a long slow journey, you have opened up your energy centres and have had intense spiritual lessons and experiences, take them as grist for your soul mill. I would advise you to lay of the drugs for a while, get into a healthy daily habit of exercise, sun exposure, healthy food, meditation and get to know all of the aspects of yourself. Love every bit of yourself that comes up (even though this is freaking hard sometimes) And be patient with yourself.

    And if you sometimes think that you need to know more about yourself, you can observe yourself when you are around your primary caregivers mom, dad, siblings and see how you behave.. that is your inner child which was abused, bullied and did not get the love which it needed, take those aspects of yourself and start loving every part of it.

    Much love to you, and wish you good luck.

     

     

    #359864
    Stian
    Participant

    Thanks Inky! I will check it out 🙂

    #359861
    Stian
    Participant

    Jungian therapy is how i have understood it as analytical therapy by Carl Jung, which is in-depth psychology working over longer time to find the deeper lying issues that a client has.. Not like more traditional types where they focus on removing the thoughts or issues troubling a patient, analytical goes into the deeper layers of the unconscious parts of a human.

    How he does it with me is i try to write down my dreams as often as i can remember first thing in the morning, and send them to him by email, he uses dream interpretation which he is trained at, which basically means that our dreams communicates from the unconscious parts of us mainly through symbolical meaning. How we started all this 6 months ago was my emotional breakdown at work, i started getting my shadow and all my repressed emotions and thoughts which i have been running from since my childhood up in my day to day interaction with life. I had my first session at his office, i was completely exhausted as a 28 year old man, not managing to handle life anymore by the same old coping strategies like exercising, meditation, drugs, friends whatever it was.. i was like mentioned exhausted. First session i cried, and the next and so on. We started to work with all my inner children/memories of everything i experienced as a boy around my violent drug-addicted father and depressed mother. Letting everyone of these boys in me which is a metaphor for everything i experienced which was always laying there in the background chasing me forward reaching for new goals all the time i was never satisfied, and was constantly looking for the approval of people around me and in my life i never felt good enough, this is a programmed behaviour in me since i never were seen as a boy by neither mom or dad, and i was exposed for too many tragic incidents, too much drugs, stealing, lying, hopes broken and the list is endless. So one can say my perception of life has been a broken and that is in my opinion what happens to a lot of people. I will say that a lot of people are going to psychologists and theapists looking for a quick fix and thy go back to the same life they had, with the same habits and only experiencing a temporary relief from the symptoms they have, but in my opinion it seems life people get stuck in the rut they have been in for most of their life, anyway..

    So back to my sessions i come into his office talking, crying, expressing all the unfairness of what life has been and he often puts a pressure on the wounds by asking what i feel and where in my body i feel it. For example i feel heavyness in my chest around my heart – disabling my ability to love myself, and life in general, i express a lump in my throat restricting my ability to express my truth as the human being i am, and i express i have intense energy in my feet wanting to run away from the city i live in. Cause how i interpret it is that these feelings in the body has always been there, wanting to run away from home as a child, now feeling safe, not able to love myself cause i sacrificed myself getting the love i desperately needed as child. I missed my dad, looking out the window thinking where is he? when i he coming home? when will he come play with me? why is mom so sad and always stressed out?

    And the session often concluded with him giving me details and reflections of his work around me and how he sees my childhood and the things i have experienced. One can say we light up the unconscious parts of me so i can see myself and my journey as a human being in a broader perspective, sometimes i get aha moments during a session, sometimes i leave the office feeling way more sad, sometimes angry and i come more in contact with my body which i have been totally dissociated from most of my life. i was diagnosed with Adhd as a teenager, which is nothing more than utter bullshit, i was traumatized and constantly worried so it prevented me from being present in my life as a child, teenager, and adult.. not handling school, taking drivers license was very difficult for me because as i mentioned i was not present and my faith in myself as a human being was reduced, not managing to express my feelings when someone stepped over the line and bullied me, i was not in contact with my anger for large parts of my life.

    So i conclude with Jungian therapy/analytical therapy is a basically a close relationship with my therapist working over long time, for probably some years, so we can delve into the emotions, getting to know my darkness, coming to and understanding of what has happened, how i can cope and love myself more, and releasing those feelings getting a bigger faith and strength inside myself, cause i believe happiness, peace is a choice for any human being which one needs to find in oneself. Getting help from a therapist is just something i need right now, and it feels like it is working from time to time, but sometimes there is a lot of darkness to manage.. but i consider myself extremely lucky being given the gift of opportunity to take on this life challenge now as only a 28 year old man. Cause i do believe trauma is being passed from generation to generation by unconscious habits and conditions until a human decides: This madness stops with me, i am not the same as my parents, i am not an unworthy person, but there is something wrong with what happened to me, and i can make the choice to end the cycle with me.

    #359820
    Stian
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: right;”>My therapist is skilled in jungian therapy, he works with emotions in the body and i talk through my childhood and all the emotions which were buried then. We open up and i get to feel these emotions today, and it is extremely hard and i get quickly overwhelmed when i am around a lot of epople.. I get negative thoughts which leads to negative feelings, and it is not easy to turn this around.. I have been going to him 6 moths now and have been escaping from this childhood all my life, and it also feels like i feel the energy of the emotions of everyone around med aswell sometimes, Even though we can never truly know this for a fact can we? I feel it in my chest and my feet, and i have not heard that cbt is as good as analytical psychotherapy which my jungian therapist is skilled at. I think the problem is sometimes that we live in cruel world full of negative energy as well, and some People feel it more than other due traumatic childhood, being empaths and so on</p>

    #359550
    Stian
    Participant

    Thank you so much Anita 🙂 I will go easy on myself

    #359082
    Stian
    Participant

    I must say thank you from the bottom of my heart! My therapist is really skilled and following my through everything, i am very tired these days, and go up and down and lot.. One Day i am happy and feel good, and the next i am tired and feel awful.. Like in this instance i am in a Diamond wedding at my Girls grandparents house.. I with draw from People when i am tired… I am literally walking through this painful process with the hope of a brighter future.. I never thought that stuff was this bad, but i go to the therapist it becomes more and more obbious for me.. My childhood was much more traumatic than i thought.. Dad beating and threatening mom on daily basis when he neede money for drugs, my father showing hus penis to me several times when i was very little which disrupted the image i have of myself from young age.. My therapist says its quite unbeliavable i mange my life so good – work, exercising, spending time with friends… I cry also cry a lot! Have cried more the last 8 months than i have for 28 years of my life, it was weak” to cry when i was a kid.. But as they say the only way out is through.. I dream of making a happy family with my girl one Day.. But i am often anxious over the future and i know why.. I must say i really like this forum and are grateful for feedback.. I guess on some level we are all traumatized some more than others.

    #358998
    Stian
    Participant

    Im a very much up for input.. And thank you for editing.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)