March 12, 2020 at 1:51 pm #343002
Wikipedia’s entry on Psychological Trauma states: “Psychological trauma is damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or to integrate the emotions involved with that experience… The person may not remember what actually happened, while emotions experienced during the trauma may be re-experienced without the person understanding why… This can produce a pattern of prolonged periods of acute arousal punctuated by periods of physical and mental exhaustion… Emotional detachment, as well as disassociation or ‘numbing out’ can frequently occur.. Exposure to and re-experiencing trauma can cause neurophysiological changes like slowed myelination, abnormalities in synaptic pruning, shrinking of the hippocampus, cognitive and affective impairments”.
You may want to read the part under Treatment, there is a list of “psychotherapy approaches .. designed with the treatment of trauma I mind- EMDR, progressive counting (PC), somatic experiencing, biofeedback, Internal Family Systems Therapy and sensorimotor psychotherapy”- I don’t know what these are, but Wiki has an entry on each one.
I hope you let me know how your search for trauma therapy goes. I hope “Everything” gets better soon!
anitaMarch 14, 2020 at 9:54 am #343290
I started looking in to EMDR therapy last summer, although I didn’t feel strong enough to go through with it.
I have sourced an EMDR therapist and I have an initial meeting with her next Saturday. Emotional times.
Did I tell you that the care home want me back to work there full time?
CatMarch 14, 2020 at 11:34 am #343306
I know of a young medical doctor living in New York City who thought highly enough of EMDR that she thought an EMDR therapist for her distress. I hope it works for you, let me know.
No, I didn’t know the care home wants you full time. What kind of hours did you work so far there and how many more hours are in a full time position, and how do you feel about it?
anitaMarch 15, 2020 at 5:11 pm #343478
I hope you read this message before I get in to work tomorrow.
At the moment I work at the arts place Mon, Tues, weds, Fri 9-5 and care home on Thursdays.
Last week the care home said they wanted me back because I’m good with the residents and because all the staff know me and want to support me.
I am inclined to go back to the care home for many reasons. Since starting my new job, I’ve found it hard to find time to play guitar and write songs for my band. And also time to read. If I go back to the care home, it means each day I will have either the morning or afternoon free to be at home doing just that.
If I go back to the care home, then I will need to work every other weekend. I will be starting therapy on Saturdays at 2pm. So it may well be a I need to work a long day every other Sunday. This isn’t ideal, but at the moment it seems like the most viable option.
Some people may see this as a step back, but I need to put myself first. Right now in life, I honestly just want to be at peace with myself and to create. In the care home I will be allowed to have breaks when feeling stressed. At the moment running sessions is a lot more stress and pressure and also alot more paperwork.</p>
Ideally I’d love to be off of work, as my mind feels like it’s going to Crack under responsibility and control. I hate feeling trapped.
March 15, 2020 at 5:42 pm #343482
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 4 days ago by Cat.
I think it’s admirable, what a hard worker you are, but I understand over working is not a good thing, and I understand your need for a long break from work altogether. (I remember you having a debt, I am not sure. that’s one thing to consider before taking a long break, to be debt free first, or to have a very small, manageable debt).
Quitting the art place and working full time in the care home reads like the reasonable choice because you will have less paper work, less stress, you have the staff’s support and the residents like you (and you like them back), and every day you’ll have either the morning or afternoon to do what you want to do, which is to write songs, play the guitar, read and overall, “to be at peace with myself and create”.
Down side is that you have therapy scheduled Saturdays at 2pm which means you’ll have to work in the care home Sundays, if I understand correctly.
Overall reads like the care home is a better choice. Please keep me updated from time to time. I want to know how the therapy works, how work.. works, if you get the chance, when you do (I know you are busy).
anitaMarch 22, 2020 at 4:17 pm #344664
I am thinking about you, how you are doing, if you are working, if you are keeping yourself as safe as possible during this pandemic.
anitaMarch 25, 2020 at 4:23 am #345302
I returned to work last week, but I felt too overwhelmed to make a decision about what to do with work. Especially with everything going on right now.
I’m not too great. I found out on Monday that one of my old friends committed suicide :'( She was only 20. I met her when she was 17. She had such a big heart and was so smart. She took her life on the 17th, after 2 previous attempts. She hung herself in the woods :'(
She was a trans woman. I met her as a boy, and watched her become Lucy. She fronted her own band, and her favourite band was Against Me.
Yesterday I was empty and depressed and stayed inside. Last night I started crying.
This morning I emailed all my memories to her Mum and family. And listened to Against Me and cried.
This month has been the worst.
CatMarch 25, 2020 at 9:54 am #345334
I am sorry for the pain that Lucy felt, the pain that led her to end that pain in the way that she chose to end it. And I am sorry for the pain and sadness that you feel, having her gone.
A whole lot of things are added to “Everything”, the title of your thread. Keep yourself and others as safe as possible, and don’t lose hope for a better life.
anitaMarch 26, 2020 at 2:42 pm #345600
How does anyone process a death like this? :'( She was SUCH a bright soul. So young, and sweet and pure. Not a bad bone in her body. SO passionate about music.
Her Dad emailed me photo’s of the tree in London. Her friends there decorated it with guitar picks and other things she liked 🙁 That just made it feel too real. It’s awful. I think of her young sweet, smiling face, and I can’t believe I’ll never see or talk to her again :'( How does anyone get over that? It feels like she’s gone and there’s nothing we can do to save her.
She was 1 in a million and I feel like we’ve missed out and lost so much. I still can’t believe it.
CatMarch 26, 2020 at 2:51 pm #345608
She was one in a million. And so are you, Cat- one in a million. She was “So young, and sweet and pure”- you may be not as young as she was, at this point in time, but you were as young, and sweet and pure before, no less than her. I state this truth because I want you to see the bigger picture: the world is full of young, sweet and pure children who get hurt badly. I was one of those children, and so have you. She was too, and now she is gone.
It is so very sad, yes, it is. So much innocence destroyed. People destroy people in our times more than viruses do, or at least, people are competitive when it comes to destruction.
Her friends in London decorated a tree in her memory, honoring her. May you honor yourself today and every day while alive, same for everyone reading this.
- This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by anita.