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Have so much pain in the body

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  • #359646
    Stian
    Participant

    Going to therapist once or twice a week is the toughest choice i would ever make, and i know a lot of the people on this forum can relate to what i am saying. This evening i had a lot of negative thoughts, others don´t like me, anxiety, and fear in my body.

    Decided to lay down and breathe into it, it was not possible to calm this feeling down. So i took a drive and watched the bridge not so far from here, i have had some thoughts that it´s impossible i´ll never get better, and this is to intense and it will kill me.. I decided to drive down by the water, close all the windows and sit in the car mustering enormous strength and just screaming as loud as i could.. I roared like an animal into my steering wheel, squeezing the steering wheel as hard as i can, again and again.. I felt some relief from the pain, but it is still going on in my body. Tomorrow i am going to a party with my girlfriend and some friends, and i feel a little bit fear of going there, even though i feel like i need to cause it´s like a goodbye party for one of my best friends (he is going away for a year) I hope i will be better tomorrow.

    #359682
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Stian:

    “This evening I had a lot of negative thoughts, others don’t like me, anxiety, and fear in my body… I took a drive.. I had some thoughts that it’s impossible I’ll never get better“. Next you screamed as loud as you could, “roared like an animal.. squeezing the steering wheel as hard as I can.. felt some relief from the pain”-

    my comment: the pain in your brain/ body includes pain that is attached to thoughts. The pain that is attached to your thoughts cannot be released by screaming, or doing any physical work or exertion because screaming etc., does not undo the connection between the thoughts and the pain. This is why some talk therapy is necessary, such as Cognitive Therapy where with the help of a therapist, you examine and challenge your thoughts and figure out if they are true to reality or not.

    For Example, “others don’t like me” is  a thought that can be examined and challenged in the context of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I understand that your therapist is not a CBT therapist, but any therapist can do CBT exercises with clients.

    anita

    #359770
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Stian,

    I’ve recently discovered the Steve Nobel meditations on YouTube. They’ve calmed me down. By like A LOT. They are psycho-spiritual too, he guides you to “release that which no longer serves you” on the outbreath. Things like that.

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    #359820
    Stian
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: right;”>My therapist is skilled in jungian therapy, he works with emotions in the body and i talk through my childhood and all the emotions which were buried then. We open up and i get to feel these emotions today, and it is extremely hard and i get quickly overwhelmed when i am around a lot of epople.. I get negative thoughts which leads to negative feelings, and it is not easy to turn this around.. I have been going to him 6 moths now and have been escaping from this childhood all my life, and it also feels like i feel the energy of the emotions of everyone around med aswell sometimes, Even though we can never truly know this for a fact can we? I feel it in my chest and my feet, and i have not heard that cbt is as good as analytical psychotherapy which my jungian therapist is skilled at. I think the problem is sometimes that we live in cruel world full of negative energy as well, and some People feel it more than other due traumatic childhood, being empaths and so on</p>

    #359834
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Stian:

    I tried to understand Jungian Therapy better this morning by reading about it online. But I am not clear about what it is about practically. If you want to, can you describe a session to me: you go into the therapist’s office, what happens next?

    anita

     

    #359861
    Stian
    Participant

    Jungian therapy is how i have understood it as analytical therapy by Carl Jung, which is in-depth psychology working over longer time to find the deeper lying issues that a client has.. Not like more traditional types where they focus on removing the thoughts or issues troubling a patient, analytical goes into the deeper layers of the unconscious parts of a human.

    How he does it with me is i try to write down my dreams as often as i can remember first thing in the morning, and send them to him by email, he uses dream interpretation which he is trained at, which basically means that our dreams communicates from the unconscious parts of us mainly through symbolical meaning. How we started all this 6 months ago was my emotional breakdown at work, i started getting my shadow and all my repressed emotions and thoughts which i have been running from since my childhood up in my day to day interaction with life. I had my first session at his office, i was completely exhausted as a 28 year old man, not managing to handle life anymore by the same old coping strategies like exercising, meditation, drugs, friends whatever it was.. i was like mentioned exhausted. First session i cried, and the next and so on. We started to work with all my inner children/memories of everything i experienced as a boy around my violent drug-addicted father and depressed mother. Letting everyone of these boys in me which is a metaphor for everything i experienced which was always laying there in the background chasing me forward reaching for new goals all the time i was never satisfied, and was constantly looking for the approval of people around me and in my life i never felt good enough, this is a programmed behaviour in me since i never were seen as a boy by neither mom or dad, and i was exposed for too many tragic incidents, too much drugs, stealing, lying, hopes broken and the list is endless. So one can say my perception of life has been a broken and that is in my opinion what happens to a lot of people. I will say that a lot of people are going to psychologists and theapists looking for a quick fix and thy go back to the same life they had, with the same habits and only experiencing a temporary relief from the symptoms they have, but in my opinion it seems life people get stuck in the rut they have been in for most of their life, anyway..

    So back to my sessions i come into his office talking, crying, expressing all the unfairness of what life has been and he often puts a pressure on the wounds by asking what i feel and where in my body i feel it. For example i feel heavyness in my chest around my heart – disabling my ability to love myself, and life in general, i express a lump in my throat restricting my ability to express my truth as the human being i am, and i express i have intense energy in my feet wanting to run away from the city i live in. Cause how i interpret it is that these feelings in the body has always been there, wanting to run away from home as a child, now feeling safe, not able to love myself cause i sacrificed myself getting the love i desperately needed as child. I missed my dad, looking out the window thinking where is he? when i he coming home? when will he come play with me? why is mom so sad and always stressed out?

    And the session often concluded with him giving me details and reflections of his work around me and how he sees my childhood and the things i have experienced. One can say we light up the unconscious parts of me so i can see myself and my journey as a human being in a broader perspective, sometimes i get aha moments during a session, sometimes i leave the office feeling way more sad, sometimes angry and i come more in contact with my body which i have been totally dissociated from most of my life. i was diagnosed with Adhd as a teenager, which is nothing more than utter bullshit, i was traumatized and constantly worried so it prevented me from being present in my life as a child, teenager, and adult.. not handling school, taking drivers license was very difficult for me because as i mentioned i was not present and my faith in myself as a human being was reduced, not managing to express my feelings when someone stepped over the line and bullied me, i was not in contact with my anger for large parts of my life.

    So i conclude with Jungian therapy/analytical therapy is a basically a close relationship with my therapist working over long time, for probably some years, so we can delve into the emotions, getting to know my darkness, coming to and understanding of what has happened, how i can cope and love myself more, and releasing those feelings getting a bigger faith and strength inside myself, cause i believe happiness, peace is a choice for any human being which one needs to find in oneself. Getting help from a therapist is just something i need right now, and it feels like it is working from time to time, but sometimes there is a lot of darkness to manage.. but i consider myself extremely lucky being given the gift of opportunity to take on this life challenge now as only a 28 year old man. Cause i do believe trauma is being passed from generation to generation by unconscious habits and conditions until a human decides: This madness stops with me, i am not the same as my parents, i am not an unworthy person, but there is something wrong with what happened to me, and i can make the choice to end the cycle with me.

    #359864
    Stian
    Participant

    Thanks Inky! I will check it out 🙂

    #359867
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Stian:

    Thank you for answering my question and sharing at  length about your experience with Jungian therapy. I appreciate your time and effort to explain it to me as well as you did.

    As I understand it, from your explanation, Jungian therapy is an analytical therapy developed by Carl Jung, a years-long, in-depth examination and excavation of the “deeper layers of unconscious parts of a human”, unlike current psychotherapies (like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) that focus on the surface of a person’s mind, on symptoms, and which include diagnoses that focus on symptoms and not on the root problems (Ex. ADHD, with which you were diagnosed earlier). This surface/ symptom focus therapies lead to the clients remaining “stuck in the rut they have been in for most of their lives”.

    With your therapist, you describe to him your dreams- the arena of the subconscious, full of symbolic meanings, as a way to discover what happened in your childhood and how it felt back then.

    In sessions you express to your therapist how you feel, where you feel it, and what those feelings/ sensations mean. Examples: “heaviness in my chest around my heart- disabling my ability to love myself… a lump in my throat restricting my ability to express my truth as the human I am.. intense energy in my feet wanting to run away.. from home as a child”. This is about undoing the disassociation from your body that happened when you were a child, and really feeling how you felt as a child.

    Did I understand correctly?

    I will return to your thread to re-read your latest explanation and any post you may add to it Monday morning, in about 15 hours from now.

    anita

    #359944
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Stian:

    Here are my comments regarding Jungian therapy as you described it:

    1) It is a very good idea to look for the “deeper layers” or root causes of our mental/emotional problems instead of only treating the surface appearances aka symptoms of our emotional problems.

    But treating symptoms does have its place. Examples:

    – a heavy duty drug addict needs quick and superficial help. It won’t be a good idea for the person to go through years of Jungian therapy, journaling and discussing his/ her dreams, etc. while he risks his life and the well being and lives of other people.

    – an abuser in an abusive relationship needs quick and superficial help  to manage his/ her anger. No time for years of therapy so to get to the roots of his anger while he is still abusing another.

    – in your case, being you are not a drug addict or an abuser, there are still surface issues/ symptoms that you want to manage quickly and deep issues to be looked at and treated long term.

    2) Sometimes a superficial diagnosis such as adhd can come in handy. If a person’s inattentive symptoms are so severe that the person is at risk, or is risking others, medications based on the diagnosis can save lives.

    Overall, better the therapist and client avoid the all-or-nothing thinking of going one way or the other, and instead practice a balance in the course of therapy: attend to the surface problems/ symptoms that need immediate or quick treatment first, and then examine and treat the root causes/ deeper layers over time.

    3)  The focus on dreams as a way to examine the subconscious has its place, but the content of dreams shouldn’t be all viewed as undisputed evidence of real- life experiences because movies we watched as children and onward, science fiction movies as well, cartoons.. these all enter  our subconscious and have a part in our dreams. (I am sure that responsible Jungian therapists have updated the traditionally taught dream interpretation to include the current exposure of people to the technological advances in the movie and in the massive computer gaming industry).

    anita

     

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by anita.
    #360267
    Stian
    Participant

    Thank you. My symptoms weren´t that bad so i will work on this process, as a longer road too more wholeness in my feelings, and my self

    #360270
    anita
    Participant

    You are welcome, Stian. It is a good thing that you are willing to work hard on the process of healing, “as a longer road”. I wish you well in your process of healing.

    anita

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