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Big blue

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Viewing 15 posts - 166 through 180 (of 278 total)
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  • June 21, 2014 at 4:55 pm in reply to: crippling shame… #59325
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    Yes agreed. I had an unknown text recently. I asked who they were looking for and did not get a reply. My gut said it was fishy so I blocked the number.

    Big blue

    June 21, 2014 at 1:09 pm in reply to: crippling shame… #59318
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Bruce,

    For help with shame, look up Brené Brown.

    Big blue

    June 20, 2014 at 7:07 pm in reply to: Sex > Creating friendships #59285
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Blaice,

    You already have awesome advice above. It’s good of you to seek this advice – and to grow from your experiences.

    The word that comes to mind is compassion, for yourself and other folks who are different and/or sorting through things themselves.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 20, 2014 at 4:00 pm in reply to: How Can I Carry On? #59279
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Elle,

    I’m sorry to hear all that you have endured. Lucyb’s response is right – despite your struggles, you have life. And, I highly recommend you read that book.

    Elle, if it’s ok I will give a guy’s perspective. I was in a committed relationship, but after much MUCH open discussion about how her bitterness of her past relationships were spoiling our relationship, I had to break it off. I would say to her that she was creating another bad relationship when in reality I was demonstrating and pushing for a good one. So, the question is, what happens if you meet someone otherwise worthy for you, but you bring these old wounds into it?

    Elle, what if this bitterness affects other relationships? What if it spreads like oil over water?

    This is motivation to work hard at re-inventing yourself. Please take this very seriously because you can turn yourself around, starting now. It’s in your power, and if you find that you need help, you can reach out and get help.

    Lucyb I’m sorry to hear about your cancer – congratulations for recovering so well, and for helping others.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm in reply to: How do our values come into play? Are we true to them? #59268
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Jasmine,

    Well I guess it’s a double humble!

    🙂

    Big blue

    June 20, 2014 at 1:50 am in reply to: How do our values come into play? Are we true to them? #59244
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi J,

    🙂

    You are not just a good writer, but your experience, thinking, compassion and direct advice are always very helpful.

    Thanks for all that you do to help people here, me included.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 19, 2014 at 6:10 pm in reply to: How can relationships even work in this generation? #59199
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi VK,

    Thank you for starting this discussion wondering about technology and relationships.

    To The Ruminent, thank you and high five if I could for putting in very clear words what is necessary for a good relationship.

    All, imagine what it must have been like when the telephone became popular! 🙂

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 19, 2014 at 2:43 pm in reply to: Jumped the gun …. #59189
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Paul,

    I feel for you on this. I’m sure you know you are not alone. I’ve had a brief time like this once.

    Your timing is good – I was going to post domething and the heading might include impulse control. Sometimes I – we move very certainly on an impulse. Why? How can we govern ourselves better?

    The other comments above make a lot of sense – from Kelly, Jon and Chloé.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 19, 2014 at 10:11 am in reply to: Moving Past Regret #59163
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Jon,

    I can see from your write up and from my experience why you’d have regret.

    I have a recent case where I think our two spinning gears touched the wrong way and it was my fault. Now, as a result of the full damage, I don’t think I could ever be with her. It’s a tragedy, but maybe it was meant to be that way sooner or later. I’ve thought about her and this issue a lot (times infinity…). It took me a while to not be upset. Now I’m kinda going forward in my life without her.

    Jon there is no right answer, but giving it time as Chloé says makes sense.

    Big blue

    PS: if you try something like “I LOVE YOU. PLEASE FORGIVE ME” painted in the sky by an airplane and it works, please be sure to let me know…. 🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 19, 2014 at 7:38 am in reply to: How do our values come into play? Are we true to them? #59155
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi J,

    The first part. Unconditional love.

    You had it in your summary also.

    You really are a very good writer.

    Big blue

    June 18, 2014 at 5:31 pm in reply to: How do our values come into play? Are we true to them? #59116
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Jasmine,

    Opening the post just now, as soon as my eyes lighted on these words I got what you were saying.

    unconditional love, purity, peace, acceptance, forgiveness

    Thank you! 🙂

    Big blue

    June 17, 2014 at 6:49 pm in reply to: I push every single guy away – daddy issues. #59056
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Chloe,

    I know the feeling, but as a son.

    Your dad did the best he could at the time. It’s time to see that, forgive him and let it go.

    When I realized this, it completely changed my view.

    Big blue

    June 17, 2014 at 6:36 pm in reply to: I push every single guy away – daddy issues. #59054
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Chloe,

    I know the feeling, but as a son.

    Your dad did the best he could at the time. It’s time to see that, forgive him and let it go.

    When I realized this, it completely changed my view.

    Also, you do need to remap your approach to a relationship. Do what you can to follow good role models and make an effort to change.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.
    June 17, 2014 at 5:55 pm in reply to: I cannot seem to get over what happened in the beginning. #59052
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi BellyButton,

    I can see why you’re still upset.

    Maybe he got nervous about being in the relationship, or maybe the timing was bad. Or his history said he was not worthy. Etc. Then, given some time missing you, his feelings for you overcame the other thoughts or feelings, which may have been subconscious. His rudeness could have been the conflict showing.

    Some questions:

    How rude was he?

    How does he handle pressure or a crisis? Have you seen him in other scenarios?

    Can you forgive him?

    Have you been able to forgive yourself in your life?

    Advice: have a talk, uncomfortable as it will be, without drinking. Just a calm talk.

    Big blue

    June 16, 2014 at 6:37 pm in reply to: How do our values come into play? Are we true to them? #58940
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Jasmine,

    Wow! Thanks for putting your thoughts together like this. You really are a fine thinker and writer! 🙂

    I need to marinate on this….

    Big blue

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