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TheDaydreamer

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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #84755
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Name… I know this feeling so well.

    First of all. Breathe! Meditate for a few minutes. Really go deep into your soul. Search for that purpose. Or lack of purpose. What is it? Where does that uncertainty come from? Do you feel like you’re not enough, just being your beautiful self? Do you feel pressure to become famous, known for something, unforgettable? Because that feeling so normal. It seems like anyone and everyone could be great and grand and amazing. But listen, what if a quiet life where you treat your friends and family well and work at a company that does more good than harm is enough? What if we focus more on ourselves and our karma than what our purpose is outside of us? Because how I see it, it’s already in us and if we listen closely, it will let us know how and when to act.

    #84753
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Dear Perry

    First and foremost: it’s not shocking. And you’re not going to be alone forever. If you don’t wish to be.
    Wanting companionship does not reek of desperation, it is a basic human need. And that’s totally okay!
    Accept the fact that you would like a companion, but don’t stress too much. That will be noticeable.

    Have you ever wondered if you exude that certain distance that makes it hard for people to come up to you?
    Because if it’s your belief that you will be alone forever, that’s an attitude that is tangible. So please, accept that so far, it wasn’t in your story or journey to have met a companion. But everyone will find someone if they let the love in and believe they deserve it.

    I mean, listen. I think I’m a pretty attractive young woman. I am now 25 and I was a virgin until I was 22. But because it was my choice, because I wasn’t ready for it. And my first relationship began shortly before I turned 23. So, I guess I’m a latebloomer. But I really don’t care. We’re not all gonna meet out soulmate at 16 and get married. And also not everyone is made to just have sexual encounters without meaning until they find someone worth staying for. We all have to go our own way and live our own story.

    So, go out of your comfort zone and try to make friends. Meet people! Don’t expect to get married in 6 months (although who knows!) but be happy, bright and great – as you are anyways. Maybe sign up for some online dating sites, but see them as a game a playing field where you can practice talking to women.

    I wish you the best! Don’t tell yourself you’re ALREADY 24 – you’re ONLY 24. You have so much life ahead of you! And so much love to experience. Excluding love from our lives might seem like a good idea to protect yourself from pain – but the pain of that regret, that remorse you WILL feel if you don’t at least try is much, much worse than any heartbreak.

    MUCH LOVE Perry 🙂

    xx

    #83303
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Dear niike

    To me, it sounds like you struggle with self-worth and confidence. Maybe it would be helpful to be less hard on yourself. You’ve accomplished a lot! You got into an art school – be proud of that. Believe in yourself and do what you love.

    As far as your anxiety in social and intimate situations: that too usually stems from not loving oneself and therefore not being able to love anyone else. It’s a long and hard way until you love yourself fully, but you will get there. Maybe some counselling or anything like that would be helpful?

    All the best to you!
    Namaste

    #83112
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Remember that YOU have those fears – but no evidence to back it up. Maybe it’s a form of seperation anxiety from your daughter, but don’t interfere with the relationship of your child and her dad. Have you talked to him about it? Like REALLY sat him down, telling him you feel awful but you’re scared. His reaction will tell you a lot. Don’t be hurtful and don’t accuse him of anything. Just tell him how you feel things.

    Maybe you should create your own post about this? I think there are a lot of young and also experienced parents on TinyBuddha – I’m sure they could help you further.

    #83110
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Dear Janeames

    I don’t know if I it’s the same thing with you, but since I would also call myself “hyper” sensitive, I can relate to this apathy. For me, it happens when my soul is overpowered with emotions from others and myself, when it needs a break. And since I’ve learned to accept that and give it some space, just realizing it’s there, it has become much better. For a few years, I have suffered from depersonalization – a feeling I hate – because I was overwhelmed and my mind was trying to protect me.

    Make sure you take good care of yourself, take me-time and de-stress enough. And if you’re handling too many emotions of others, talk to someone you trust about it in confidence.

    Hope I could help.
    xx

    #83109
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Dear Logan

    I can relate to your struggles very much. Although my situation is different: I know what I want to do. I know exactly where I want to be. But I know in order to get there, I have to lead a “normal” and “boring” life until I get to live my dreams.
    Instead of focusing on the negative of being like everyone else and leading a life you didn’t chose, try and make decisions in your private life and spare time away from work that excite you! Try and pick up a hobby, a sport, do some crafting or build something – whatever makes your heart shine 🙂 And then maybe you will find your passion – what is it in this world that makes you passionate, full of ideas, things you want to improve in your lifetime here? And then take baby steps from there so you can make your passion your job or your life one day.

    I believe in you. All it takes is looking inward and finding out who you are and what drives you.

    All the best 🙂
    Helen

    #82995
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    If you want to make it work, stop thinking there would have been another one better out there. If you CAN’T make it work, leave. Set him free and set yourself free to be with someone who wants to be there 100%. Love and marriage are never perfect, but you have to decide to be with that person. So if you can’t make that decision, let him go and move on.

    Lots of luck!

    #82994
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Dear jubeesoup

    I totally understand what you’re going through. I’m a very emotional person and I can get attachted to messages, and contact in general before even meeting someone. And if the times you’ve met have been so great, it’s hard to understand why the other person would distance themselves. But just understand, that even if he didn’t have bad intentions, it might not have been so serious for him as it is for you. Because some people can get easily attachated and detachted. So beware of that. Protect yourself, even if it goes against your emotions at the time. Make sure you know what you want out of a relationship and what the other person wants.

    Give him some space, maybe a week or so. Don’t text or call. And then ask for a meet up in person. Tell him you feel confused and a little hurt that he grew very distant very quickly.

    Hope I could help you a little bit. All the best lovely!

    xx
    Namaste
    Helen

    #82993
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Thank you so much, dear Saiisha. That’s a very lovely way to look at things. I’m trying to meditate when I feel capable to do so and practice yoga as often as I can.

    Namaste =)

    #82797
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Dear Tallulah

    Thank you for your words! You’re so right, you described how I feel very well. It’s my anxiety heightening my intuition, that’s why it seems to be unclear whether or not I would feel things the same way if I were calm.

    #82796
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Hi Rose

    I recently just thought about what I would do if my partner did this…Or actually why I would do this. I think with social media and online dating apps etc. the temptation is really big. Because, technically, he didn’t cheat. He wanted to know if he’s still “got it”. Which is silly, but human. We constantly need the confirmation and attention of others. And it’s sad. But it’s hard to not get caught up in this attention-seeking behaviour. I don’t know what I would do exactly, but I would feel like a fool and like he betrayed my trust. You need to talk this out and ask yourself what he can do to make it up to you. I don’t think it’s worth throwing away a relationship because of some tinder messages. But that’s completely up to you. If in a few months you still don’t trust him, it will be harder and harder for you guys to make it work.

    xx
    Helen
    aka TheDaydreamer

    #82762
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    I can’t agree with Anita. Actually from all I know, it states nowhere in the Bible that being gay is a sin. And even if…That book is too old and dusty to be taken serious. My humble opinion 😉 Life is so much bigger than this.

    As far as your grandma: If you want to tell her, because you want her to know it, tell her. Don’t care about her reaction. She might say you’re going to hell, she might say she hates you for it, but you were honest to her and yourself. If you can’t live with that, then keep it to yourself. Not everyone in your life is going to have a big enough heart and worldview to understand and accept that you being gay does not change the kind of person you are. You are great, beautiful and smart – no matter what gender you love. You LOVE someone, that is huge! That’s fugxing amazing. Celebrate that. Enjoy and feed on that love and don’t let people drag you down.

    I hope you’re doing well!
    Much love
    Helen

    #82761
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    Dear Jara

    I don’t know if I agree with this statement completely. What do you mean with the fear you experience? I think fear is an emotion just like love, anger etc. If you’re afraid that you’re falling out of love, talk to your partner, tell them you feel like there is a distance growing inside of you. Has something happened recently that changed your feelings towards your partner? Have you changed or has your partner changed in a way that makes you two incompatile as of now?

    I think it’s valid to be afraid of falling out love. Because it can happen. But you also must know that it takes work, sometimes we love our partner more, sometimes less. It’s a decision to stick with – of course until you’re sure it’s not there anymore. You can’t really “tell” yourself anything to remain in love. You really need to look at the relationship with an open mind and heart.

    I hope it helped.

    Love
    Helen

    #82609
    TheDaydreamer
    Participant

    I am sorry you’re hurting so much. Can you elaborate on what happened? Of course only if you feel comfortable doing so. Families can be a tricky thing. It’s the people closest to our hearts that can disappoint us the most. Let yourself grieve, and feel anything you want to be feeling. After the first “shock” is over, try and see it from their side. Did you have expectations that can not really be met by anyone? Can you see your family members as human beings that have flaws and make mistakes, without the intention of hurting you?

    I hope I could somehow help you and wishing you good luck!

    All the best
    Helen

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by tinybuddha.
Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)