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Thomas168ParticipantWalking on egg shells??
If you love someone and they mean a lot to you then sometimes things they say or do will affect you. So, you don’t try to upset them or talk about things that might get them upset. Understandable. But, it also shows that she might not be understanding of your situation. Then, it turns out to be a battle between love and her anger. You love her but don’t want to feel her anger. No man wants to come home to being disrespected and anger. There is no peace in that. And for me, I have learned to live with a lot and to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I do it out of love. If the disrespect over flows then I might have an outburst of my emotions. Then she knows to shut up for the moment. It can’t be one way only. So, my poor advice which no one should ever take because I am terrible at this stuff is …
talk to her about his. If she loves you then you can work it out with her. If she doesn’t respect you or care for this relationship then it will need to end. Talk. If you can’t talk then this will never resolve.Thomas168ParticipantFor me, fear of intimacy is more like having little trust. Cause if you trust this person in front of you then you would not have fear. Rather you would enjoy the moment. Yes, some people do use the intellect to learn to understand the situation. But, it all comes down to learning to trust and be confident in that trust. To feel good in the moment and go with the feeling. Let go the thoughts as the thoughts have come and gone. Don’t let the fear rule. Sorry, just my two cents.
Thomas168ParticipantHello Laura,
I am guessing that your boyfriend is really into you. And he was being honest and upfront with what he wants. I don’t think that is being fast moving or crazy. Just being honest and letting you know how he feels. Now, it is your turn to be honest and tell him that you do not feel the same. Upfront and honest. The longer you let him think you feel the same or don’t feel different is like lying to him. Say it to him. Be honest. Hurt him a little now is better than trying to figure a way out of the wedding. Or saying no when he proposes to you.
I understand being in high school and having feelings and planning on the future. Being shy about sharing feelings. But, not being totally honest is only going to hurt more later. Time to let your true feelings show.
Thomas168ParticipantSorry, my obsession is not the best to ponder upon as it brings up images of a poor state of affairs. And that is not what we want for our future. My wish is to be wrong about the coming depression. When things get really bad, the only thing worth anything is land, skill and tools. With these, one can get thru the hardest of times. Land to grow food. Tools and skills to get thing done. One can be sitting upon lots of gold but it does no good cause one can not eat gold. Sorry, now getting into my fears of a bad bad time.
Thomas168ParticipantHope you feel better soon. The under the sink idea is good. What prompted my to put in a filter, it was one day the water came out the faucet dark. It was due to the fire fighters clearing the fire hydrants in my area. They do that once a year to check on the hydrants. So, I put in a water filter and found out the water is full of sediments. Mostly iron or rust. Really glad I got it in.
Take good care of yourself and the baby. And the rest of the family.
Thomas168ParticipantBRICS is an intergovernmental organization comprising ten countries: Brazil, China, Egypt, Ethiopia, India, Indonesia, Iran, Russia, South Africa, and the United Arab Emirates. Their purpose is to dethrone the dollar as the world’s reserve currency. With the US debt at 38 trillion dollars, some one has to hold the borrower’s notes. Those notes are held by other countries and banks and other investors. Those notes also have a maturity date when the money must be paid back with interest. If all those other countries who hold these treasury bonds decide they don’t want to hold them then the US might be forced to pay those notes back which the US does not have. To pay it back the US might be forced to either default or print money to pay back the notes. Defaulting brings no confidence in the dollar then everyone will dump the dollar. If print money then inflation and the value of the dollar falls like a brick. Sorry, have been watching too much YouTube about the US debt. This cycle of the rise and fall of empires is well known. From the rise and fall of Rome. To the rise and fall of Spain. To the rise and fall of the Dutch. To the rise and fall of the UK british empire. Elon Musk wasn’t kidding that we need to cut the national deficit. Again, my apologies for my obsessions.
Thomas168ParticipantI had a teacher when I was young. Taught to sit in lotus position. Older now and can only get into half lotus position. And still, I have pain after sitting too long. Important points were to sit up with a straight back. Close the eyes. Watch the breath. When having thoughts to let it go. Do not chase or follow the thoughts. Watch the breath come in. Watch the breath go out. When one becomes aware of being with a thought to bring the attention back to watching the breath come in and go out. Not trying to stop thoughts but to let it go.
If you want to learn more then you can go on YouTube to search for meditation. There are many techniques or methods. The one I describe is just one of them. There is another which is to repeat the same words over and over. To concentrate on those words only. Then, there is the koan which is a preponderance of a question which has no answer. To find an answer. But, just a warning. Meditation is not letting the mind wander for that is daydreaming. Day dreams are desires and wants made into images.
After much practice, one pointed concentration can bring on a state of concentration in which there is stillness or emptiness. When you can achieve this stillness, you can be at the point of being tipped over to experience the truth of your nature. But, as I said, I am still working on myself for many years.
Thomas168ParticipantI am sorry. I tend to obsess over the littlest things. When I see that they do make a difference in my life, I wrap myself in it. Water filter, getting into see the doctor, watching the economy faltering, it gets to me. Oh yeah, the economy. I almost forgot. All the CEOs are selling their stocks and liquidating. Owners or Microsoft, facebook, Amazon are all selling huge amounts of their person stock for cash. When the rich are selling their stock, all the while touting that AI will make huge advancements, it is a sign that no one knows how to monetize AI. The national debt of 38 trillion dollars. The Global cash currency is moving to BRICS. No more US dollars as reserve currency for other nations. Once they start to sell, the US will go straight into a severe depression. This is on a timeline of about 36 months. Sorry, you see how I get. My mind get wrapped up in this crazy stuff.
Thomas168ParticipantHow does one reach Nirvana? I do not know. I am still on my own journey to try to understand the truth of my nature. But, basically, I spend time each day in meditation. It is a method of gaining concentration while letting the mind disassociate from the awareness. It is a dropping of the mind. And one sits in an alert awareness. The mind is always moving. Jumping from one idea to the next thought. When combined with our consciousness, it becomes our identity. Everything one has thought is what one believes one is. This identity makes one believe one is separate. So, meditation allows for the awareness to sit in stillness/emptiness. Experiencing the stillness, one can feel the emptiness in all things and then realize one’s true nature. That we are not all separate but come from the same source. Of course this is only what I have learned so far. And I could very well be wrong. However, the people I meet along the way also seem to have similar ideas though not exactly the same.
Thomas168ParticipantPlease note that if you say that I will burn and the ashes won’t even know I was here then fine. Threats of heaven and hell are for those who believe that there is a life hereafter. The one constant in this universe is that everything changes over time. The only things that doesn’t change are the things that do not experience time like photons. Massless, ghost like particles.
Thomas168ParticipantJames said, “You learned your birth, birth took place. you learned your body, counrty, family, religion, ethnics, then they all took place.”
From that sentence, I conclude you are saying that one is separate from the body. You learn your birth, you learn your body. Sounds like being separate from the body to learn of it. Where as I believe that one does not become aware until the body exist and the mind grows into the body. If the mind was separate from the body then alcohol would have no effect on the state of mind. But, it does. So, you are not separate from your body. You can not find anything inside of you that is other than this body. Though parts of you may be discard such as an appendix. One can not discard the brain. It holds the thoughts and memories of the person. Take it out and throw it away and the person no longer lives. What is left after your body dies? Only what was there before your birth. And that is where you shall return.
If you believe in God and his angels and prophets then you long to belong to a group of believers who have faith that God does exist. Whether God exist or not is immaterial when it comes to watching your enemies kill your loved ones. If God exist then why would he allow for the horrors that have gone on during the World Wars? No, God is for those who have faith and trust in God. Those who would endure the bitterness of life in the belief there is something after this life. IDK, And I do not judge. But, I am a practical man.
Thomas168ParticipantAA is alcohol anonymous. An organization for the recovery of the lives of people who were addicted to alcohol. They set rules to live by. I believe there are 12 steps. They are
1.acceptance,
2.hope,
3.faith,
4.courage,
5.honesty,
6.patience,
7.humility,
8.willingness,
9.brotherly love,
10.integrity,
11.self-discipline,
12.serviceOf course, those are just words that represent the rules.
And in some places the rules are more spiritual. Like acceptance of God and opening oneself to God’s love.For Buddhist, the story starts with the Four Noble Truths (about suffering).
The fourth noble truth is the path to escape suffering.
That path is called the eightfold path.
Eightfold path are the rules by which one lives.
A sort of fake it til you make it to Nirvana.
The path is laid with time spent sitting in meditation
And time spent with a teacher along with the sangha (the group of people one associates with along the eightfold path).
The general rules of life to reach Nirvana is called the Dharma.Mostly, I think that humans are a social species.
So, it becomes necessary to find like minded people and help each other along the way.Thomas168ParticipantOnce there was a monastery had very strict rules. After a vow of silence, no one was allowed to speak. However there was one exception to this rule. Every ten years, the monks were allowed to speak just two words. After spending his first ten years at the monastery, a monk went to the head monk. “It has been ten years,” said the head monk. “What are the two words you would like to speak?” “Bed… hard…” said the monk. “I see,” replied the head monk. Ten years later, the monk went to the head monk. “It has been ten more years,” said the head monk. “What are the two words you would like to speak?” “Food… stinks…” said the monk. “I see,” replied the head monk. Yet another ten years passed and the monk once again met with the head monk who asked, “What are your two words now, after these ten years?” “I… quit!” said the monk. “Well, I can see why,” replied the head monk. “All you ever do is complain.”
Thomas168ParticipantI moved into my house here in 2011 and it was only 2024 that I put in a water filter. Now after seeing how dark and dirty the filter gets after a month of use (only takes a few days to see a difference), I wish I had done this a long time ago. It is not an expensive filter. Bought off Amazon for less than fifty dollars and that includes the housing and a filter. I am cheap. Guess I should have done the reverse osmosis but they are expensive and so are the filters. Anyway feel better I got a filter.
Thomas168ParticipantOh, thought of something.
Alessa, do not feed tap water direct from the tap to the baby. Sorry, just worried about the quality of tap water in your area. Me, I boil water in a tea kettle and then drink from that all day. I have put a whole house filter in that filters the water down to 5 microns. Not sure if that is good enough but it does remove a lot of the sediment. Iron rust mostly. Anyway, be safe. Wishing you a wonderful year coming up. -
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