Happy New Year @Kkasxo @Sammy @Shelbyville and @Tim @Rhaenys.

I have been extremely busy and in a bubble over the last few days. Some of you wanted an update, so here it is. She said yahhh! Danny is off the market, ladies! Ahaha!

I did it, it wasn’t an extravagant proposal but it turned out to be more special and romantic than I ever thought possible.

After getting her parents blessing, on boxing day I travelled to my parents home and had a 4 day window to plan and prepare my NYE proposal (‘B’ had agreed to come later, to spend time with my family)

Both our parents were not in T4 yet, but some rule bending may or may not have occured.

My parents have woodlands at the back of their property and it so happened to be forecast to snow in their neck of the woods, I knew it would look picturesque, so I tweaked my original plans slightly to an outdoor set up.

The proposal idea was based around a homage to the date where she set up that indoor den and lights. That was the night I went home and felt a surge of emotions – it was love brewing, making its way to the surface. The love that had been there all along during that initial 6 month period I had spent getting to know her. Those questions I had asked myself, guided me back to real love.

She arrived on Weds evening we spent it playing games and her getting to know my parents, bro and his partner better. The next morning (NYE) I woke up early to keep it all a surprise.

I set up tiki torches forming a lit trail which led to a rustic oak pergola/gazebo and firepit (my dads handiwork- quite amazing) in the woodlands. I added cushions to make it snug, put fairy lights to the surroundings trees and took my parents Xmas tree outside. I had redecorated it earlier with quotes to recreate the Tree of Hope with the carousel she was in awe of when I made amends at St Pancras. It had reminded her of one of our fun dates and a ride we went on.

Everything was in place, I headed back in and eventually we were  all up and had a lovely family breakfast. I asked her if she fancied joining me on a walk to burn off the calories. ‘B’ thankfully agreed and asked to give her 10 mins to get layered up.

Meanwhile I double checked I had the ring and headed to the spot without her knowing, when she was ready she couldn’t find me, my family played along and suggested she call me.

The moment had finally arrived, I told her to head into the garden and follow the Tiki trail. I was so nervous!

As I saw her approaching, I began serenading her with “All of Me” by John Legend on my guitar sitting in the pergola. In front of me I had lit candle lantern bags which spelt out ‘Marry Me’ and scattered petals.

Her face, I’ll never forget. It will be etched on my heart and in my mind forever – whatever happens in life. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such pure joy.

After the song, I just wanted to scoop her up because she was so overwhelmed. But I needed to do it traditionally for myself, so I got down on one knee and pulled out Granny’s ring.

Here’s my speech (I did think about whether I should post this part as it’s so personal and likely to be a cheese fest for you all but you’ve helped me so much and been part of the journey and I’ve learned to be authentic and expressive)

” Our story hasn’t been plain sailing but I wouldn’t want it any other way. From the moment our paths crossed I couldn’t help but be drawn to you.You really are beautiful to your core. Your warmth, selflessness, compassion and generous spirit radiates so brightly that initially I was blindsided. I failed to recognise I had been blessed with an angel on earth, one God had sent as my miracle to pull me out of my darkness and into the light. I didn’t know someone could forever change me and inspire me to be a better lover, a better human. I probably don’t deserve for you to say YES, after everything I put you through, but ‘B’ you have taught me how to embody love. You’re my best friend and you give my life meaning. I LOVE YOU ‘B’ (yes it was the first time I’d said it) and I don’t want to waste another minute without you by my side, so allow my heart to be your shelter and my arms your home. Will you marry me ‘B’?”

She was in complete shock, streaming with tears and speechless (a first for her ahaha).

For a moment I felt on edge when she said nothing, so I jokingly sang “Say something  my knee’s giving up on you” to which she came out of shock, playfully jabbed me on the shoulder (I quipped domestic violence already lol don’t judge me – it’s just my SOH) she pulled me up and said yes, and then, I love you Danny. When I heard her say I love you back, hearing was really something else. I felt the words fill my soul to the brim. It felt peaceful. Nothing like I’d felt in the past. Better.

Then just like that she grabbed my hand, the spontaneous spirit she is had me lying in the snow making a snow angel, it felt magical and fated. She makes me feel young again but mature too. It’s crazy!

She took it all in, the lights, the setting, the tree after a few OMGs and is this really happening, she quipped where’s the carousel, don’t I get a ride? Our chemistry is such that I knew exactly what she was alluding to.

We had a little intimate moment back in the gazebo (no not the home run, who even am I? I want to wait now until we say I do)

Then I let off a flare to signal the yes to my family. They came running out to celebrate and it was just amazing. We toasted some marshmallows over the firepit and had a little snow fun. She facetimed her family and bestie.

For the evening my mother kindly surprised us and cooked a 3 course meal for us two to enjoy alone, so we both decided to mark the occasion and got dressed up to the nines, as new year’s eve wound to a close, my family broke out in their traditional drunken Auld Lang Syne and put on a firework display, we slipped inside quietly, for a moment to ourselves. As I held her, I appreciated the wounds of 2020 and healing I had done. Whatever 2021 brings I know I’ve got my best friend and soon to be wifey by my side.

Even writing it all out now, I still can’t quite believe it. I’ve been on cloud nine, buzzing with excitement for our future together.

Jan 1st 2020 – I never thought I’d see ‘B’ again, I really was so disappointed with her when she called it quits ( yes so selfish and self-centred of me given how I treated her) I jumped straight into another relationship with ‘C’. Who would have known I’d be starting 2021, engaged to ‘B’  finally mature enough to understand it wasn’t sex I wanted, it’s was the intimacy, to touch, to be admired, to feel young with someone and have that deep romantic meaningful relationship where you can be yourself and share anything, that was what I’ve always desired and ‘B’ had given it to me all along.

Thank you all so much.